Condemned Into Everlasting Redemption
by DragonWilliams
Summary: An incident on a bus catches Tony's attention. He goes in search of the culprit... Loki. But why did he do it? And Loki is beyond broken. What happened in his two year 'punishment' to make him become so scared, shattered and disjointed? WARNINGS: Extreme violence/torture
1. Suicide Pact

**DISCLAIMER: Not mine.**

**A/N AND INTRODUCTION: **If you've started this, let me warn you, this is not a happy story. There are so many warnings that I've opted to put them on each chapter. My mind is a creatively dark place so leave your faint-heartedness at the door and bring revenge as your companion, because you will need it and want it, trust me. I apologise in advance if I upset anybody and I'll let you read at your own behest. ENJOY!

(This chapter has been edited)

**Chapter 1: Suicide Pact**

* * *

Even with his eyes closed, Tony Stark could feel the early morning light searing his eyeballs like the burning of a thousand suns. Over reaction probably, but he still felt like death. The voice of his A.I. wasn't helping either (despite JARVIS's voice being as quiet and peaceful as possible. He always knew when Tony was in need of peacefulness, bless his robotic mainframe). The weather being voiced throughout his pent house in the calm British voice of his A.I..

"What fresh hell is this?" Tony mumbled, shielding his eyes with his arms, "Why am I up at this ungodly hour?"

"It's 10 o'clock in the morning, sir. Miss Potts required you up before 12."

"Mute," he muttered with a moan.

He tried sinking back into to bed to get more sleep but it was damn near impossible. His head felt as if there were a jack hammer on the inside, trying to get its way out. That's what he got for drinking too much, always (not like it was a new feeling or anything). Last night was one of those parties that you'd never forget - all fancy rich people and bimbo's looking to leech- unless you were Tony Stark and drank like a fish. The first part of the night was a quiet gala-esq affair (which, in itself, was rather too fancy for his tastes) but boredom took over real quickly and he ended at an overrated club, how he got there he didn't quite remember, too many champagne flutes Tony thinks. He was surprised to find (or lack thereof) of some one night stand, god knows many tried to get in his overpriced pants

"Never again," he muttered into his pillow, wishing he had some pain killers.

"I'm hard to believe that, sir," if his A.I. could he would roll his eye.

Tony narrowed his eyes, "I thought I shut you off."

"I've been programed to switch back on after an allotted time, sir."

"Who did that?" he asked surprised, looking to the ceiling in confusion.

"You did, sir," it was if the A.I. just said 'duh' in the most obvious of fashions. He probably didn't much like being turned off.

Tony groaned, eventually getting out of bed. The pain in his head flared up at the sudden movement.

"Fine, I'm getting up but tell Pepper I don't care what time it is, I'm drinking before 5," he said pointing the ceiling while walking out. He needed some hair of the dog to get him going for the day.

Jarvis continued his daily routine of playing Tony his to do list for the day as he walked to the bathroom and promptly getting ready for whatever Pepper needed of him. Even in his hungover state, he _knew_ Pepper wouldn't take too kindly to him looking dishevelled and actually hungover.

The workshop echoed with Black Sabbath turned up full, it started out with Pink Floyd a mile back when his head was eating itself but after some Advil and a finger of scotch, he was all good and all the better to play the heavier music. Tony fixing some dents in his suit from a minor encounter with some terrorists (terrorists that were a pain in the arse), it was simple and it kept his mind busy. He had a tendency to get bored and boredom was bad, it involved explosions most of the time. Pepper didn't like the explosions.

Tony lowered the volume of the music to check the time (3 o'clock). Lately he'd had been feeling a bit off. For the past month or so he'd felt as if someone was watching him when he was out, he'd get a slight prickling feeling in his spine as if eyes were burrowing into his back. He wouldn't tell anyone, they'd tell him he was paranoid (he was starting to think it too). He had been intently watching the news in the month of creepiness (and paranoia), feeling as if something suss might happen, it never did, but he still managed to check on daily events. Ever since the 'Manhattan Incident' more than two years ago, Tony had been watching the news more just in case. He was pretty sure though that SHEILD would probably find something Earth threatening first, the news however, was entertaining in itself.

He switched off the music all together, "News Jarv."

"Yes, sir."

Tony decided to go sit in his hot rod and tinker with the radio while the news played in the background. He still wondered when Pepper would be there, to scold him or some such, always with the scolding. He'd brought a lot of things over to Stark tower in New York, he even decided to bring Dum-E, Butterfingers and You (even the hot rod he was now currently sitting in); it made for his own little dysfunctional family, with JARVIS being the nougaty centre.

Tony's ears perked up when he heard a report on a double suicide on a public bus, "Rewind that article, Jarvis."

The article started over again and Tony sat up straight in the hot rod.

"_An odd and gruesome occurrence today at 10 o'clock today," _an anchor woman said in serious reporting tones, "_That police are describing as a possible and unusual suicide pact. Two perpetrators –, " _the newsreel cut to grainy security footage in the bus of two men in drawn hoodies entering it, " _Entered a local New York City bus early this morning attempting to stick up a bus full of passengers and threatened multiple occupants," _the grainy footage cut back to the anchor woman, "_One of the hooded perpetrators threatened a mother and child at knife point when he apologised and turned the knife on himself slitting his own throat, the other one continued to do the same," _the next video shot was shaky and of body bags being wheeled into the back of an ambulance, "_What is also incredibly strange about the event was that none of the passengers remember the experience once they hastily exited the bus. Updates throughout the day… next up-" _

"Mute," Tony called, mulling over the news report.

Well that was certainly an interesting report. He hadn't heard anything from SHEILD so he assumed that nothing was amiss. But how come they didn't remember anything? Another terrorist maybe? Chemical spill? He was probably just chasing ghosts (or something had gotten under their radar). It'd give him something to do none the less.

"Jarvis, try and get the full footage of that bus incident and if there were any other angles, those too," he furrowed brow in thought. Something about it made Tony itch, itch for something to do.

Maybe nothing was wrong but Tony felt the same prickling feeling in the back of his neck as he did in the last couple of weeks.

"All done, sir."

"I guess it isn't villain-y enough for SHEILD to block it, play it on the big screen."

The video played as a projection. Two guys entered the front of the bus in black hoodies, their faces hidden – "Is there any audio?"

"No, sir."

Tony hummed noncommittally, "Use the lip recognition software."

The video started playing again. The bus was almost full, with spare seats strewn about. There were some school students in a group at the back, an old woman and her husband up the front, some business men and women and a woman with a young child. All was calm, it seemed like a generic bus ride, until after 5 minutes of the bus driving when the two hooded men stood up and started yelling at the front of the bus.

"We're taking over the bus!" the taller one yelled, the voice coming out overly computerised, and the other pointed the knife around in jittery and unsure movements.

"We want all of your valuables," the smaller one ordered, a lot less commanding than the other one.

By the looks of the two, they were both junkies, going by the sickly colour of their skin and fidgety movements, a clear indicator of someone needing a fix.

Everyone cowered, clutching the person nearest to them. The mother tried to get in front of her child, the elderly couple hugged each other and the high school students looked as if they were crying. The bus driver looked scared and tempted to pull over.

The smaller one held the knife up to the bus driver, "Keep driving."

The little girl was crying behind her mother. The only person that didn't seem affected was another hooded figure in a black hoodie at the furthest seat of the bus in the corner, Tony couldn't see his face but the stranger sat up straight, he didn't even seen them there.

The taller one continued to speak but his back was to the camera and the lip reading didn't work, Tony cursed inwardly at his luck. He moved along down the bus taking any valuables and money from the passengers, eventually stopping at the woman and her daughter, who was crying.

"I don't have anything," Tony could see the fear in her eyes as the knife was pointed in her direction.

"Give me what I want or I'll kill your daughter," He said grabbing the little girl and holding the knife to her neck, the little girl bawling her eyes out.

The video picked up some crazy static, which made Tony's curiosity peaked a bit, static meant interference and interference meant… he didn't know what interference meant in this circumstance. He let her go instantly and stood up straight as if he'd come up with a great idea (other than robbing people on a bus), "I am truly sorry for what I have done," he said looking off in the distance, "What I have caused," He brought the knife up to his neck and proceeded to slice it open. He looked as if nothing was happening, like he was blank of anything, no pain no emotions. What the hell was that?

Everyone started screaming as the taller one fell to the floor dead. The other one did the exact same thing. The bus driver was panicking and pulled the bus over and everyone screamed running out of the bus as the blood pooled on the floor.

The hooded figure at the back of the bus was the last to leave. He was calm and unaffected by the whole situation as he left. He stopped just before getting out of the second doors by the back of the bus. He turned to look at the mess that had occurred, the carnage; looking at the dead bodies lying on the bus floor. Tony just saw a glimpse of the face as the stranger left with a blank (albeit tight looking) face and clenched fists. Tony paused the video, the footage was grainy but he could slightly make out a face… was that, Loki?


	2. The Warehouse

**DISCLAIMER: All rights to Stan Lee and Marvel**

**A/N**: I'm glad people have liked it so far. And I may have broken Loki a bit.

(This chapter has been edited)

**WARNINGS**: N/A unless you count Tony's lack of self-preservation

**Chapter 2: Warehouse**

* * *

Tony watched the footage repeatedly and continued to pause at the same spot. What the fuck was Loki doing on a bus? A public New York City bus? And why the fuck wasn't he in Asgard or wherever the fuck he went? Loki. _Loki_. Of course it was Loki (the idea that a crazy Norse god could kill someone with their mind sent fearful chills down his spine). He was tossing up as to whether or not to let SHEILD know or not. He could be so far out of the ball park it's not funny.

"Sir, do wish to inform Director Fury of the situation," the A.I.'s voice made Tony jump.

He could tell Fury, which could leave to unnecessary panic or an angry (more angry) Fury if what he thought was Loki, could just be some crazy dude on a bus or he could… not tell Fury. This could be the worst or best decision he could make. Ever.

It took Tony an innumerable amount of time for his brain to come up with (possibly the worst) decision; Tony decided not to let Fury know. He'd find Loki and prevent world domination… again, by himself so he could get the credit or Loki could use whatever the hell he did on the bus to kill him, if it even was Loki. He really hoped it wasn't Loki, that guy was so far past crazy Charles Manson should get pointers. Maybe it was all just coincidence or a bad dream and he'd wake up and it'd all just be in his head. He hoped that.

"No, no don't let Fury know. In fact see if you can alter the last part of that video, I don't want Fury to find out or whatever," He said rubbing his goatee in thought. He hoped to hell that this plan wouldn't backfire.

"Certainly, sir."

Tony continued to analyse the footage trying to pin point where it was taken. He found it to be near the central part of the Hudson. He realised that for the past few days, maybe weeks, that Thor had been acting strangely, ever since his arrival back to planet Earth, really. Maybe Loki _had_ actually escaped or was set free. Two years or so wasn't much of a punishment for what he did (attempted subjugation of a planet seemed to be pretty high on the criminal ladder); Loki should've had a life sentence or something close to it. The little shit deserved whatever he got.

"TONY!" came the shrill voice of Pepper.

Tony nearly jumped out of his skin, "Geez, Pep. Give a guy some warning."

She narrowed her eyes, "Don't you 'Pep' me."

Tony looked in thought, "I've forgotten something haven't I," he said cautiously after a few moments of him actually trying to remember.

She stood there and crossed her arms raising an eyebrow. Oh, and if looks could kill, Tony would have been dead many times over. It was in his best interests if he figured it out himself.

"Yeah, I have. What, a meeting?" he really hoped it didn't sound too flippant

"Yes, a very important one," she replied through gritted teeth.

"But I was busy," he drawled in a whine, "and in pain."

She raised her hand to stop him, "Don't give me that crap, Tony. You promised you'd be there. Wait have you been drinking?"

Tony pointed a finger at her, "Hey you were the one that got me up before 12."

"Tony," she said with 'I-don't-want-to-deal-with-your-shit' attitude.

"Pepper," he said mimicking her tone. It seemed to be the wrong thing to do.

She glared at him with all her strawberry blonde fury, "You missed the meeting with the head of Weyland Corp."

"Wait… the Peter guy? Isn't he like, twelve or something?" he added petulantly, thinking that it wasn't really all that important seeing as the kid still had spots. He'd met him once at a gala, seemed all posh and British, up himself too.

"Twenty four, Tony. He is a competent businessman and you know it, so don't give me that crap."

"But I'm not CEO anymore," he whined again, trying to get out of it all.

"Tony," her tone was firm and unwavering. Tony wondered how much it would take to crack super secretary and CEO Virginia Potts, how she was both was strangely amazing, "You may not be CEO but you're the majority shareholder and face of Stark Industries and," she poked a finger at Tony's chest, "I'd be damned if you skip out on another meeting with Mr Weyland, I'm not sure when but his people will let us know," she glared at him with even more vigour, "If you skip out on it the next time, you will be very sore because of it. I don't care if he _is _half your age. You. Will. Go. It is _vital._"

Tony was about to speak again before she cut in, "No buts Tony."

He petulantly crossed his arms and huffed, glaring at her; she knew he was doing it just to be difficult, like an over grown five year old. She rolled her eyes and started towards the stairs.

"Pepper," he started and she ignored him, opting to go up the stairs, "Pepper. Pepper, Pepper, _Pepper, Pepper!"_

"_What!?"_ She snapped, her fists closed by her side and knuckles white, clearly not happy at being cajoled by Tony Stark, man child of the year.

He smiled at her sweetly, "Hello, lovely Pepper, light of my life," he replied saccharine in greeting, "Can you get me some more scotch?" He asked innocently.

"Hello Tony," she sighed, turning to walk again, "And no, get your own scotch."

"Not fair!" he whined to her as she went up the stairs, "I'll be out later," he added absently, turning to the screen of the paused video, showing Loki's face on grainy footage.

"Ok Tony but I'll be checking in too," she called already had left the stairwell.

Tony turned back to his work bench, slightly put out at not being given scotch and anxious (and slightly fearful) of the plan to find either the mystery Loki doppelgänger or Loki himself. Guess it was time to try out his magic locator… thingy (he needs to find a better name for that thing). He turned it over in his hand, it was a prototype so it looked simplistic and dare Stark say it… messy. He'd been working on it off and on again since a crazy Norse god decided to pop in for a leisurely and destructive stroll down Manhattan as his first step in world domination. Ever since Loki was shipped off to Asgard Tony had to figure out some sort of preventative measure to locate any villain with magical signatures, but he only had Loki's magical reading and wasn't sure whether others worked on the same wave link, he hoped. Having to make other little contraptions for every other super villain with magical abilities would be a pain.

"Let's see if this works," he said with childish glee.

"Any safety precautions, sir?" JARVIS intoned.

"Ha, screw that!" he said waving a hand in dismissal. If this was going to go wrong he was going to make it go wrong with a bang, or possibly a fizzle. If his day was going to start crap, then he was damn well going to do tests that could mean tinkering.

He quickly plugged it into Jarvis's system.

"When I turn it on Jarv, let me know as soon as you get a location," he was more excited to see if his hard work paid off, "If it works," he murmured.

He pushed a red button that was clear it was an on button (Tony wanted to make it fun). Nothing like stereotypical red buttons.

His blue projection screens started to light up with scrolling matrices. Searching out the data. Numbers scrolling away into secure cyberspace and searching for the frequency they were built to find.

Tony jumped in excitement, "YES! Stuff never usually works the first time," he added a little more sceptically. The prototypes were a hit and miss, 98% of the time they failed.

With that the blue projection screens started to pick up static. The matrices started to flicker from blue to green and eventually stayed green before everything electrical went brighter and cut out, something making the power surge. Tony was left in a pitch black workshop only illuminated by the arc reactor through the thin material of his shirt. He hoped it was only the workshop that went out.

"_TONY!"_ came Pepper's shrill voice from upstairs. Guess she hadn't left yet and she didn't sound too happy about it either. He should've known that whatever happened in his shop would affect the Tower.

"What are you still doing here?" Tony called up in semi-surprise.

"No, you don't ask the questions," her voice was starting to get louder, she peeked her head through, "What have you done now?"

Tony shrugged, "Experiment," he added with a slight inflection. He hoped if he acted cute he might get away with whatever he's done. But that hasn't worked in a while.

"Damn it, Tony."

"I thought you were leaving."

"I was," she said through gritted teeth, "the elevator doesn't work," she ground out again, "There are things to I need to do Tony."

"Oh… should be up soon, don't worry your pretty little head," he smiled at her before sitting down into one of his chairs.

"You should worry about yours," she quipped back. Pepper was in a bad mood, he didn't like it when she was in a bad mood.

Computers started to reboot slowly and JARVIS's started up slower than the computers, that wasn't generally a good sign. JARVIS was meant to be faster and more reliable, if he rebooted slower something might've gone wrong.

"See. Jarvis, you ok?" he asked cautiously as the lights came back slowly, one fluorescent bulb at a time.

Pepper left as soon as things started to turn on, heels clicking back up the stairs. Her phone rang up the stairs, Tony heard her take the call before leaving. Maybe there was something he could to make up for missing the meeting. In Tony's experience she usually accepted whatever apology he would throw at her, but it took a lot of effort.

There was some interference as his hardware was rebooting, "Per-erfectly, sir," the A.I. started slowly in a dull monotone, Tony heard some interference, "Power back to 100%."

"Did we get any readings?" he asked hopefully. He went and made sure Dum-E was still operational, "you ok?" he asked the robot, It nodded back and whirring unhappily, "Butterfingers, You?" he asked the other droids who all nodded, going back to what they were doing before the outage. Which shouldn't have happened since the arc reactor pretty much prevented such things.

"Yes, sir. But I'm afraid the device is of no use."

Tony turned to the locator to see it smoking up, "Shit, shit," he quickly ran over to it before Dum-E got overzealous with the extinguisher again. He pulled it before it fried any more circuitry. The USB side of things was charred black.

"Well least it was a prototype," he said inspecting the damage and melted wires, "Mark that down as a partial success."

He chucked it onto his desk, "Jarv, do a virus check. Who knows what happened when the system went down," it would've been fine if JARVIS booted up quicker.

"System checks complete, no viruses, sir," the A.I. replied after a moment.

"I really hope you don't go all HAL 9000 after this," he said jokingly as he sat down, rubbing at his forehead.

"Let's hope not, Dave," the A.I. replied in HAL's calm voice.

Oh, his A.I. was making jokes now? Tony chuckled, "Oh, are you not glad your creator has a sense of humour?"

"Certainly, sir," JARVIS replied.

Tony sighed, he was forgetting something, "Oh yeah, send the co-ordinates of the readings to my phone."

The co-ordinates given sent Tony to an abandoned warehouse on banks of the Hudson a fair way away from the Tower and quiet close to where the footage happened. Why would Loki be at an abandoned warehouse? It didn't make sense. If he was an all-powerful deity with magical capabilities, why would he hide away in a warehouse and it also didn't make sense that he was taking public transport. But nothing as confusing as to why he was here, on Earth, again. In one word to the whole problem: confusing.

The drive there was wet. He noticed once he got into his car and drove out of the underground garage that it was pouring. Tony hadn't taken much notice, especially since there were no windows in his workshop, it could've been hot and sunny outside for all he knew. The city was gloomy from dark clouds over head but once he neared the warehouse the rain stopped and the sun shone through dark clouds.

Tony came prepared, well as prepared as he could, which probably meant nil compared to a quasi-god. He brought his portable suit just in case Loki got out of hand. Why was he even doing this? This was probably one of the worst ideas ever but something was urging him to go it alone, he wanted to punch it. Tony also decided to put in another prototype into his suit (constantly upgrading and tinkering was in his nature as an engineer and general paranoid person) that let the Avengers know that it was in operation once it was on, it'd probably fail. They still weren't quite the team they'd hope to be, sorting out all of their issues. Tony did invite them to stay at the Tower but no one had accepted his offer, not that he minded. He was used to his independence and lone wolf status (something about not playing well with others in there too).

Tony drove up to the side of the warehouse and parked as close as he could on the mud and weeds. It was still a distance away from where he thought the entrance would be, he also didn't want to get his Audi too dirty. The building itself was massive at least 2 and a half stories and he could see on the far end something had hit the wall and made it collapse (may or may've not been Avengers related), red bricks pilling up on the outside of where it'd been hit. The warehouse was old and made of faded red brick; it looked like an old power plant that was built a hundred years ago.

Good thing Tony decided to wear casual. After the rain the mud would be terrible. There were heaps of weeds some nearly becoming bushes and many growing on the outside walls. His Audi already had mud on from just driving up. It was not a car suitable for off road expeditions.

He hopped out of the car and made his way in with his suit. Tony still debated whether he should turn back and go home but his lack of self-preservation prevailed still. Most of the windows were shattered or caked in dirt, making the building look older than what it was. On entering he could tell that the roof looked as if it was collapsing, the steel supports groaning and bending inwards and some parts of the roof just missing completely. The open parts of the ceiling showed bits of sunlight from the sky, beams warming up the cold and alien looking space. Tony could hear water dripping from the recent downpour and saw it hitting the floor inside. There was rubble and bits of metal strewn about the place. The area that Tony could see looked as if a bomb had hit it, or something Chitauri related, which occurred quite frequently around New York and a lot of people left it, not being able to afford repairs. Hung up about the place were tattered and torn plastic tarps used in constructions.

"Jarvis, if anything goes wrong let someone know. Immediately," he whispered into a comm on his phone.

The sounds of birds' flapping wings echoed through the large area as Tony's whispers scared them off. As they flew away from the steel rafters and girders, their wings made shadows from the beams of light through the broken windows. Some ravens took the place of the pigeons that were scared off.

"What do you want?" came a voice that sounded like it came from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. The voice was quiet it but it also echoed. Tony spun around looking for the source of the voice.

Tony froze and didn't answer but tried to be as silent as possible.

"Leave," it was just about a plea and it still echoed while still being quiet. The voice was definitely that of Loki but it lacked the authority and pride it once had and the one Tony once knew. There was something off about it, "Whoever you are I mean you no misgiving but please leave."

Tony carefully rounded one of the sheets to see Loki sitting in the middle of the warehouse floor slumped over. His back faced Tony and he wasn't wearing any shirt, water dripped on his back from the ceiling yet he gave it no mind. For a split second Tony thought he saw gashes and red on his back but looked again and it was still pale unmarred skin.

Tony stood up straight. Loki looked small and helpless (also homeless), he didn't seem like a threat but it could've been a ruse. From what Tony had seen and heard, Loki was good at ruses. It was too late to change his mind so he acted as innocent and helpless as possible, hoping again that if Loki got his bearings he wouldn't attack.

"Dude, chill," Tony spoke, raising his hands in a placating manner even though Loki couldn't see.

The muscles in Loki's back rippled minutely, "Anthony Edward Stark," he said punctuating each name, he murmured something to himself that Tony couldn't hear, "I know," he added slightly angry.

"You know, what?" Tony asked confused, edging closer. He hadn't remembered asking or saying anything else to the rather defeated looking god.

Loki wasn't moving as if he was paralysed, dead, Tony was hallucinating or it was a decoy.

"I wasn't talking to you," he snapped angrily.

"Then who-"

"No one!" he yelled but still not moving his body.

Tony ignored him, "Aren't you cold?"

"Ice in the veins is cooler than air and winter, it matters not," was the cryptic reply.

"Right, Riddler," Tony drawled furrowing his brow. The whole not moving thing was creeping him out.

Tony was close enough to hear Loki's mumblings, he was talking to himself like a broken record.

"We'll rip them out and do it again," was one of the first disturbing things Tony heard. Still wasn't moving though which was getting on Tony's nerves more and more.

Tony went to poke Loki to see what would happen, maybe get him out of his statue state, because that's what you do to a bag of cats, you poke it. Something about 'Don't poke a sleeping dragon' running through his head as he got closer.

The lightning speed mumblings stopped instantly and Loki's back tensed up, "No, don't do it again, please no more. Green fire burns. Watch out. Combine ice and it kills. No don't," Loki sounded completely broken, insane and traumatised.

Tony retracted his hand, "How hard did you hit your head when you fell from Asgard?"

Loki drew in his knees and held on hugging them tight; "Asgard," Loki shook his head, "Never go back again," Loki was looking into the distance in a trance, something horrified flashing over his features.

Tony went to be in front of the god. He noticed his sunken eyes that were glazed over. It was if Loki was asleep with his eye's wide open having a nightmare. His skin was pale and sickly looking and he looked like he hadn't eaten in a while, or at least a proper meal. He really did look helpless and alone.

Tony snapped his fingers in front of Loki's face, "Oi, Reindeer Games, snap out of the voodoo trance."

Loki froze and all of a sudden, as if he realised who was in front of him, and looked affronted.

"You just had some mental snap, what the hell was that about?" he was slightly concerned, even for Loki bag of cat's world dominator.

"Stark," Loki growled but there was nothing much to it, "What are you doing here?" he looked up at Tony, "I have done nothing wrong," he sounded almost desperate.

"Does Thor know you're here?" Tony asked confused, looking around the empty warehouse. If Thor knew Loki was here then there'd be some serious problems.

Loki hugged himself, "I have paid for what I did, you do not need to capture me, leave me be and I will go. I have done nothing wrong," he was almost crying, he was like a hurt and lost child. What happened to him to make Loki, the vicious overlord, to a scared little boy? Something wasn't right.

Tony grabbed Loki pulling him up, "You need some psychological help, man," there was fear in Loki's eyes, assuming Tony was taking him back to Thor or whatever thing that seemed to scare him.

All of a sudden Loki's features changed to rage, "Unhand me! I will gut you were you stand!" there was the Loki he knew, with his pride and anger.

Loki grabbed for Tony's throat and lifted him off the ground, he was seething anger but there was still fear behind those furious green eyes. Loki snarled at him.

Tony realised then that he was probably going to die, should've called back up. Stupid, stupid! And yet again his gut had taken over while the logical side of his brain was yelling at him. He needed to listen to the logical side more often; it would not get him into situations that could get him killed.

All of a sudden Loki's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell to the floor letting go of Tony. That was a very anti-climactic end to it all, one he was glad of. He rubbed at his throat and looked at the limp god on the concrete floor.

* * *

**MORE A/N**: I always feel as though I write the characters a bit OOC but idk. Your kind words are nice... just saying.


	3. Cracks

**DISCLAIMER: Stan Lee and Joss Whedon are your masters**

**A/N**: Thanks for sticking with it and thank you for your love. *Smooshes face*

(This chapter has been edited)

**WARNINGS:** Some misplaced organs, small amount of blood

**Chapter 3: The Cracks**

* * *

_Mental wounds not healing  
Life's a bitter shame  
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train  
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train_

_I've listened to preachers  
I've listened to fools  
I've watched all the dropouts  
Who make their own rules  
One person conditioned  
To rule and control  
The media sells it  
And you live the role_

Crazy Train – Ozzy Osbourne

* * *

Seriously what was going on? The dude wasn't usually this unstable, well what Tony saw of him anyway. Loki was usually calm and collected, even when he was sounding like a Baptist preacher intent on overthrowing an entire planet. Some serious shit had gone down somewhere along the line.

Tony pulled at his hair, "Argh, not good."

For all he knew the god was dying and Tony just stood there staring, he started pacing. _Think you idiot. _What was he supposed to do?

He took a deep breath, the huge amount of dust in the air made him cough.

"Ok, ok, ok, ok, keep calm Tony."

Well at least an out god was better than an awake one. He tossed up the idea of taking him back to the Tower, he couldn't just leave him in a warehouse with his brain on the fritz. No, he can't take the God of Chaos back, that seemed like a stupid idea. But he was so… damaged. Something was really wrong and it whatever caused it was major. He couldn't resist wanting to take Loki apart to see what was wrong to see how he ticked, that was in his nature. It also wasn't in Tony's nature to be malice even if it was towards the being that threw him out of his own window. Loki seemed to need all the help he could get (if therapists all had patients like Loki, they'd be richer than Tony). Well it seemed Bag of Cats was coming with Tony; he'd have to hide him as best as he could and hope SHEILD didn't come snooping around.

"I'm going to regret this," he sighed, stilling himself.

"Most definitely, sir."

Tony startled a bit, "People –and A.I.s—have got to stop doing that!"

Tony could tell from where he stood that Loki was still breathing, though it was laboured and heavy. He could even see the god's heartbeat at his neck. His muscles where twitching as if he was already in REM sleep. Whatever he was dreaming about, it wasn't pleasant, the way his hands balled up and his muscles tensed, it seemed a painful dream. Sweat was starting to bead down his head, another indicator that it was a bad dream.

Tony grimaced and went to pick Loki up but stopped, he would've been unwise to touch him and be attacked for it. He went to touch him first so he wouldn't get a snapped reaction and a mauling. The god didn't move when he was poked which was helpful and his skin was ice cold, probably from not wearing a shirt while it was raining. Tony rubbed his face and picked up the god. He was light, way too light for what he'd thought a god would weigh, he looked as if he hadn't eaten properly in a while. He was limp in his arms like a dead body too.

He looked around to see if there was anything of Loki's, but there was nothing only rubble and some brightly coloured flowers that were growing in the cracks of the concrete like weeds, looking out of place in an abandoned warehouse.

Tony carefully and quickly carried Loki to his car.

As Tony left with Loki in his arms, the brightly coloured flowers started to droop and wither slowly.

He carefully placed Loki in the back seat of his car; he was still unresponsive, then placed his suit in the front seat and shut the door. He leaned against it and took in a deep breath, trying to calm his frayed nerves. The sky was clear of all clouds and it started to go a golden colour. This was going to be a long night.

For the first five minutes or so of the drive Tony kept glancing back at Loki, he was still tense lines and uneasiness, even in his passed out state. He tried to get back to the tower as quickly as possible without breaking laws and bringing attention to himself —he saw a cop on the way and slowed down—to try and figure out what was wrong.

He finally got to the tower and went into his underground garage slash workshop. He was glad to be back but it was only the start of a very long night.

Tony carefully picked Loki out of the car.

He nearly dropped him when Loki started having a violent seizure in his arms. He should've seen it coming, especially how every muscle in Loki's body was taught. Tony ran to one of his workbenches in his lab that was connected to the garage and swept everything off violently. It all landed with a clang, Tony didn't care, he just wanted to put the crazy god down so he didn't get a broken nose.

"Come on you little shit," he said worriedly as he lifted him on to the workbench.

Loki was writhing on the bench violently, his neck was straining and his eyes were rolled back like a person possessed. Tony tried to hold him down, to calm him down, anything to stop the thrashing.

"Shit, come on."

Loki continued to writhe in what he assumed was pain. In Tony's efforts Loki unintentionally hit him in the jaw but he was still adamantly trying to hold him down. Loki's movements started to slow down and his breathing evened out. Tony kept his hands firmly on Loki's shoulders just in case he started up again. Eventually Loki was back to an uneasy sleep.

He's jaw was starting to throb now. Damn. Loki had a mean swing.

Tony let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his forehead, "Jay, do some scans and project them in the centre," he muttered gesturing to the centre of the room.

He rummaged through his cabinet before finding a medical kit and placing it next to the bench in a likely case that Loki was going cause himself unnecessary harm that Tony would likely have to fix.

"Certainly, sir"

A thin blue light flew over Loki's body a few times. He looked like a corpse in a morgue; he looked peaceful to a degree, as much as a corpse could look peaceful. His features were soft but still in sleep there was a hint of sadness and pain that pulled at Tony's metal heart. A god, that had who knows what happen to him, looking like an injured child on a cold metal table looking ready to be a med students cadaver. As much as Tony wished for him to suffer it was hard to ask for more when he came out so damaged. Then the other part of Tony's brain was yelling: _LIES!_ Loki the God of Lies, it was hard to distinguish the facts.

Tony went to get a coffee while JARVIS finished up the scan, he was glad he had a coffee machine in his lab. He wasn't particularly keen on leaving Loki by himself and he was particularly keen not to drink alcohol either, he needed to be alert, as much as his body craved it.

JARVIS finished the scans and put the hologram up of Crazy's body. Tony came over to inspect it. Instantly he regretted it. He dropped his mug in shock and it shattered on the workshop floor, coffee and ceramic going everywhere. He put his hand over his mouth as if he was about to throw up.

Tony squinted at the blue image, tasting bile, "How is that… who?" He looked at Loki through the hologram in confusion as to how he was still alive. He turned back to the image.

The image itself was a complete three dimensional body of Loki. On the outside it was still perfectly smooth skin. While underneath, underneath skin and muscle, was a whole different story. It looked as if all of Loki's insides were taken out then put back in… more than once. Like he was _disembowelled_. He could see the intestines, stomach and spleen were all tangled in each other… just stuffed back in or something. Where was his liver? Tony couldn't see Loki's liver until he squinted and tapped it with his finger giving him the details. The liver was tiny and the stats said it was the liver size of an infant. Tony looked back at Loki who looked untouched and was still asleep/passed out. His black hair framing his face making him looks paler. How could this possibly happen? And who would condone such an act? Some Viking hospitality for prisoners, he guessed. It made him sick.

Tony studied the diagram carefully, trying to find answers. All he got was more questions with no progress. Other than the mess that were the insides of his body, Loki had quite a few broken bones, from a shattered femur to fractured ribs (and everything in between) and even a shattered pelvis, all healing or healed. But still, it was all grotesque.

It was 10 minutes later that he realised he hadn't looked to see if Loki, medical marvel, was still ok. He'd be looking at him differently now, all he'd see would be the damage hidden by his skin, skin that should've had scars. He quickly glanced over at where he left Loki and instantly his stomach dropped and his eyes widened. The metal table that Loki had been laying on was bare, he was no longer insight. Tony saw a small pool of blood dripping down the side furthest from him. _Shit, _things had definitely escalated. He noticed that the medical kit had been haphazardly open and scattered. He cautiously went over to the bench, keeping his steps quiet, even with his heavy tread boots and searching around the general area Tony had left Loki. A bloody trail (there was too much blood) found its way behind one of the solid desks Tony was a few feet away from. He heard the distinct lightning speed mumblings that were almost inaudible to his ears it was so quiet. Tony heard an unusual noise, like a wet tearing sound and silent sobs. His eyes widened even further in horror. He looked into the medical box. The only thing that was missing was the scalpel. _Shit!_

This was very bad, this was a time for panic but Tony kept his calm as much as he could. All his thoughts screaming that he should've contacted Fury, that he should've done anything but bring Loki back to his Tower. He rushed quickly to the desk partly slipping on the blood that covered a portion of the floor. There was a large pool of blood but no god. _SHIT!_ This is a small room how could he lose one person.

Suddenly there was an arm nearly strangling him and a scalpel pressed sharply against his throat.

* * *

**MORE A/N**: If you got the Prometheus reference (the god not movie, though the movie was very good) 4 for you.

I lurv ya'll for all the reviews. Muchas gracias.


	4. Torn Flesh

**Condemned into Everlasting Redemption**

Disclaimer: Not mine. Bloody wish. I'd make Loki win if that were the case

**A/N:** HELLO AGAIN. Sorry for any delays but I'm still alive. I still love you. Do not question my love! I love you more dearly than any of you know! *winks* Now someone said they liked my A/N, well I'm glad I can be charming and funny right before I rip out your hearts (or at least try) *Loki grin* NO ONE HAS GOTTEN MY REFERENCE TO OTHER MYTHOLOGY, that saddens me (NO HUGS FOR YOU), I will not tell you, you have to figure out that by yo' selves (you be smart people). And yes I. AIN'T. BOVVERED. This chapter, It gets worse, I hope you peeps have a strong constitution. The chapter title, yeah, well, you'll see soon enough *creepy ass evil grin*. Shitty chapter is shit, Go Loki whores be free (I'm pretty sure you all are, who isn't, if you're a Tony whore than awesome, 2 birds 1 stone) I shall flee from here and watch from the rafters *pterodactyl noise*.

WARNINGS: Lots of blood, Self mutilation (seriously head it)

**Chapter 4: Torn Flesh**

xOx

Tony's heart raced and he could feel Loki's too. The hand that was holding the scalpel was shaking. He swallowed nervously and his Adam's apple scrapped against the sharp edge. He raised his hand to show surrender.

"What am I doing here," Loki whispered through gritted, his eyes darting around.

Tony was still in the state that told you to run, "Uhm," Tony couldn't quite get his brain to work yet.

Tony then realised that there was too much blood seeping into his clothes and that it wasn't coming from him. Loki tightened his grip on Tony and he could feel the slid of blood around his neck coming from Loki's fore arm. From what Tony could feel and the way that Loki was shaking, there was a significant amount of blood loss, "Where am I!" Loki yelled hysterically.

Tony was about to speak when Loki's body went slack again. He fell back and the scalpel Loki had in his hand sliced over the top his shoulder as Loki's momentum pulled his arms away. Tony turned quickly to try and catch Loki as he fell but was too late when he saw god hit his temple on another work bench. The cracking sound of the god's head on metal made his stomach lurch. Loki was out cold again.

"Damn it, Jarvis, check to see if this ass has brain trauma," hitting your head that hard must've had some serious repercussions.

He quickly went to Loki's side to see the damage and levelled out his head.

Tony grimaced as he saw the large gash at his temple, "Fucking hell," he said in exasperation. He trailed his eyes down to Loki's arm and he quickly ran for a towel.

"Mother fucking shit!" Tony held down the towel on Loki's wound, he was in a panic mood, it was still gushing blood. The wound looked as if Loki had ripped the flesh clean from his forearm. A large rectangular piece of flesh was missing from his wrist halfway up his forearm. He lifted Loki's arm to elevate it above his heart to slow the bleeding. How could this happen? He should've been watching. Loki was starting to go pale (how could he get more pale!). Is it possible for a god to die? Tony didn't want to find out. He was starting shake and mumbled, "Come on."

Tony inched the towel away from the wound to see the damage. It was hideous and from the look of it Loki had cut right down to the muscle and ripped any skin before that off. The cut was quick, deep and messy but still slightly uniform. It had stopped bleeding but Tony kept pressure on it. Loki was covered in blood. The scalpel was still in his other hand; Tony picked it up and threw it in anger at the wall on the other side of the room.

There was blood everywhere and he was covered in it. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he searched the room for the bench Loki was on before he went postal.

"TONY!"

xOx

Tony jumped, "Mother fucker! I'm getting sick of this shit!" he's voice was strained and slightly panicked.

Pepper stood in the door way of the workshop looking shocked.

"Pepper, move. Come and help!" Tony nearly yelled over his shoulder when he realised he'd been sliced on the back, "Fuck!"

Pepper snapped out of her shocked trance and dropped everything she was holding and ran over.

"Tony there's so much blood, are you –" She eventually got to Tony and saw the limp body he was tending too, "Oh my god, what happened Tony?" She was about to cry and panic.

"Help me get him on the table," he said rushed trying to pick him up.

Pepper instantly went on the other side of Loki and helped pick him up. They laid him down on the table. He rushed to find the right stuff from the medical kit, he was nearly manic. Loki was still breathing normally which was a good sign.

"Tony, what the fuck happened!" Pepper was in hysterics.

Tony quickly bandaged the wound. Pepper looked and regretted doing so nearly throwing up.

"Jarvis?" Tony asked in desperation.

"Vitals are good, no head trauma, significant blood loss. Blood also seems to be returning rapidly, sir"

Tony let out what air he kept trapped in his chest. He realised now that his back really hurt.

"Tony, please tell me what happened," she asked worriedly looking around the bloodied workshop.

Tony was pulling at his hair trying to think. Should he take him to a hospital? But how would they fix what ever Loki was? God? Who knows – "Tony?" It was probably better here maybe trying to help him – "Tony?"

"Just wait a fucking sec, ok?" Tony snapped and Pepper quieted.

Tony pushed away the obsidian hair that had fallen in Loki's face. His features were calm again, peaceful. The only thing that gave away the god's chaotic disposition was the blood that covered his body and face.

Tony sighed and rubbed his forehead again, "Jarvis, is there any way I can fix him _without_ taking him to a hospital?"

"Tony, no!" came Pepper's hysterical reply.

"Pepper I can't take him to a hospital," He said quietly looking at Loki and his calm features.

"It is unwise to do so, sir," JARVIS replied.

"But can I do it?"

"Yes, but –"

"Mute."

Tony went to wet a cloth to clean the blood off of Loki that was starting to dry.

"What do you mean you can't take him to a hospital?" Pepper sounded dumbfounded, "This person is in a serious condition, Tony. He needs medical attention!"

Tony put on a calm demeanour and shakily wiped away the blood on Loki's face. He did it carefully hoping there weren't any injuries on his face. He looked to Pepper and pointed to Loki's face, "That's fucking why," He ground out.

He studied Pepper's expression carefully. Her face went pale, "What is he doing here? How did he get here?" She added louder.

"I brought him here," Tony knew that Pepper was going to have a shit fit, he didn't care he had enough trouble trying to figure out how to go about the whole situation.

"WHAT?" There it was, the high pitch scream that could make dogs walk away with their tails between their legs, "Why would you bring a known psychopathic villain to Stark Tower? To where you live, Tony?" She was just about seething.

Tony turned quickly and looked at her, really looked at her, with sad eyes, "You didn't see him today, Pepper," He turned to look at the lifeless body still covered in his own blood, "He was so broken, so distraught. I don't even think he knew where he was today. Whatever 'punishment' Thor promised us that Loki was getting, this is what came out," Tony was nearly pleading.

Pepper seemed to ease a little but was still shocked, "How do you know he isn't lying or playing us for fools."

"Pepper what sane person would rip off their own flesh with a scalpel and their hands?" He looked at her seriously and she looked shocked and scared, "Though he wasn't really sane when he left… but this is… different."

"You mean he did that to himself?" She put a hand over her mouth as Tony nodded solemnly, "Fine but I really, really hope that this doesn't turn horribly, horribly wrong. I don't want anyone to get hurt," she added after a moments thought, "Even if it is a mass murderer, but please, please call a doctor. Tony are you hurt?" She looked even more horrified (how she did that that no one will know).

"I'll be fine Pepper."

Tony nodded at Pepper's questioning look and she cautiously left.

"Why did you do it?" He asked more to himself looking over the body again.

xOx

Tony started cleaning away the rest of the blood being cautious around the arm. He sutured the wound that ran along Loki's temple but was surprised that it was starting to heal so rapidly. After Tony had finished cleaning the god, he took mirror to see the damage of his back. He looked to see his own reflection, he had blood all down his shirt that wasn't his blood and he looked way too tired. He took the shirt off and realised the cut wasn't as bad as he thought and could easily heal on its own. He cleaned his back either way and covered it up. He continued to clean the rest of the blood off and put on a different shirt (the one he had on wasn't salvageable).

When he was done he took in the limp body on the table and realised yet again that the only things he wore was a pair of tatty leather pants and pair of scuffed and torn leather boots. He's pants looked as if they'd been dragged through dirt and sharp rocks, same as the boots.

The hoody that he saw Loki with wasn't at the warehouse.

Tony went over to his panel of holographic computers. He wanted to know what Loki was saying and what he did before he took Tony into a bloody strong hold.

"Jarvis play the video of Loki and might I warn you, to warn me when Pepper comes."

"Yes, sir."

The video started to play. He was glad that he had some sort of security camera in his work shop and he was glad (or maybe not) that this one had Loki right in focus. It started with Loki still on the table for a good thirty seconds. The video got some interference and he swore he saw something blue on the table for a split second in between the static, and then it was back to normal. Eventually Loki got up, looking like a deer in the head lights, looking scared out of his mind, he scanned the room and eventually saw what Tony thought was himself off screen. Loki quickly looked around for anything that could be used to attack (or defend), then he found the scalpel. His head started to twitch from side to side as if he was looking from one thing to another. His lips were moving and he thought Loki was talking to himself.

"Jarvis, audio."

"Yes, sir."

"No," Came Loki's quiet yet raspy voice.

His head switched to the left, "Have to. Disgusting. Get rid of it," This voice was quitter but angry and simpler.

His head snapped back to the right, "No one wants it," His voice was sad, hopeless and full of despair.

Again the head went to the left, "Skin is so cold no one will touch it."

Loki grabbed the scalpel hard and started to dig into his skin, the blood already bleeding freely onto the metal and the ground. Tony put a hand over his mouth and looked shocked.

His head went back to the right, "If it goes then it won't be cold."

Loki stopped and then ran quickly to be behind the work bench. He continued his assault on his forearm as he sat down. He dug deeper and more blood gushed out, it seemed as if Loki didn't feel whatever he was doing. He started sobbing into his lap but continued to carve into his skin viciously, he tried to scrub his face but only smeared blood. Eventually the large cut came full circle and he started clawing at the horizontal cut along his wrist, making it bleed even further.

"It has to go," He kept on saying as a mantra. Loki got his finger nail under the skin started to yank at the flesh, and bleed even more. Even though Tony was watching he could hear the sound of the tearing flesh, he had well and truly gone pale and felt like looking away but something about how broken Loki was made him want to watch so he could help fix him, even if Tony could never even help himself.

Loki continued to tear and rip and Tony could see the stringy material of nerves and lower layers of skin being pulled with the large mass of skin being taken off. Tony had to turn away. He felt like crying and screaming and punching something. How could this have happened to the most sure-of-himself being? To the super-villain that tried to subjugate an entire world? To a god?

Tony turned to Loki on the footage burn the skin up in his hand leaving nothing.

"What has happened to you?" Tony asked to himself again looking through the hologram to Loki.

XoX

**MORE A/N**: OH no cliffhanger, damn it. Let me know if you want to find out what happened to Loki's hoodie, because me has good story for it. And yes I put Pep in there, coz why the F not, huh, HUH. I. Ain't. Bovvered. Questions, go for your pretty little lives. If you want to figure out where mind set is for the ending of this story listen to Hallelujah by Kate Voegele x 100 sadness and you have reached your destination (also Angel by Sarah McLachlan (not religious just like the song mkay)) THE ENDING IS FAR AWAY, there's just just the stuff in between that I have to write. Have at thee!

P.S. You know what makes me a happy little vegemite, yep that's right. Go on you know you want to. Do it. That means suggestions as well, which means LOVE and encouragement. Questions can be here or Tumblr. And I still can't believe you like it I would

DRAGON OUT!

*cackles in the wind*


	5. Awake

**Condemned into Everlasting Redemption **

Disclaimer: Nothing, I own nothing.

**A/N: **Hi again. This one is nicer... I think. Oh and yes Pepper _did_ take Loki's appearance well, coz well, she's Pepper. She's as calm as a Hindu cow and to be honest, she works for Tony Stark so who knows what fuck she's seen. Only one person got the Prometheus reference and that was **Ordis**, (HUGS FOR ORDIS) unless other people got it too and were shy... don't be shy. Prometheus and Loki are essentially the_ same person_, god, titan, whatever (Both tricksters and both misunderstood oh and also the whole fire thing). Anywho he was bound to a rock and each day as an eagle was sent to feed on his liver, only to have it grow back to be eaten again the next day, so that's why Loki has a dodgy liver, do you get it now (or do you not really care) me hopes you gots it. Chapter is rather mediocre, It just wasn't working, all this dialogue and contradictions and ooc-ness aaargh *head desk*

WARNINGS: Angst, Sad!Loki is sad

**Chapter 5: Awake**

xOx

It had been about half an hour since Pepper left. Tony had a taken seat across the room, far enough away he couldn't reach if the god woke up but close enough to carefully keep an eye on him. Tony kept his eyes on him but also had his Stark phone in his hand pondering whether to call a doctor or not. He couldn't possibly handle this on his own and wasn't quite thrilled to get anyone else involved. Well seeing as Loki was out cold still and his other myriad of problems, a doctor would be best. But how to go about telling a doctor that his patient was a god? Was there any difference between physiologies? Well only one way to find out.

"I guess I'm gonna have to call doctor for your broken ass," he mused aloud.

"Please don't," came an impossibly quiet voice. If the room wasn't so quiet itself, Tony wouldn't have been able to hear it.

Tony raised his head to the voice but all he heard was the whir of machines.

"What?" Tony asked not sure if he heard the first time.

"Please don't," came the voice again, this time slightly louder. Tony could hear the lost and scared child in the voice.

Tony realised that Loki had his impossibly green eyes open staring to the ceiling. He wasn't blinking and looked even more creepily like a corpse. How long had the god been awake?

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because I fear what might happen," Loki replied quietly, his face not giving away any emotion.

"And what exactly would that be?" Tony asked raising his brow also slightly fearful.

"Something that would inevitably be dangerous for both parties involved," Loki said impossibly calm, but still Tony could hear fear.

"Well no offence," Tony shrugged, "well ok some offence, but you're batshit crazy, the fact that you _tore your own flesh off_, you need help and not just for physical problems," Tony said loudly, pointing to his head to try and get his point across.

"Did I?" he was still so calm but there was a question in there. He lifted up his arm as he still lay down to get a better look but didn't move his head. He inspected the bandage from a distance for a quick glance then put it straight back beside himself. The motion reminded Tony of a robot, "So I did," he added after inspecting his arm and still impossibly calm.

Tony was taken aback. The fact that Loki didn't even remembered such an event lit up warning signs like a fucking Christmas tree (but then so did willingly carve out your own skin), "What do you mean? Don't you remember carving out your own skin with a scalpel?" Tony said loudly, he was dumbfounded, "That's definitely something you don't easily forget," he added furrowing his brows.

"Sorry to have caused you distress," Loki said calmly, still not fazed with the recent revelation.

"Dude _you_ should be in distress, you've had like four different personality changes this afternoon!" Tony was more and more confused.

"Again I am sorry I caused you distress," Loki said eventually turning his head to look at Tony. He was shocked to see Loki's eyes, they looked glazed over and emotionless and he returned to look at the ceiling. Tony felt an unpleasant chill go down his back, "I also apologise for injuring you," Loki added still quietly but from what Tony could tell his voice was honest (but the God of Lies and all).

"How do I know you aren't lying? I'm pretty sure given the chance you'd kill me," he wondered because Loki would be the best actor.

"I don't expect you to. No one does. Even my apologies, people take as lies. It matters not. I have no intention of killing you," his voice a mask of calm but underneath there was barely hidden despair, "I don't want to hurt anyone," he added in a quiet voice that dripped sadness and truth.

Loki's eyes began to shine but he was quick to put the mask back on.

Tony thought it over. Somewhere deep down he believed Loki, for the moment he wanted to think that (until Loki had another personality shift), "I believe you," Tony said honestly and Loki froze, "For now any way. Until you lose your shit again."

He thought that Loki wasn't expecting an answer quite like that with the way he froze, "I have one question?"

Loki didn't answer and he took that as the go ahead, "Why did you do it?" He was genuinely curious, "I mean the whole thing on the bus, if that even was you?"

Loki looked at Tony again, sending the same shiver down his spine, "You would not believe me even if I told you."

"Oh come on, I'm talking rather civilly to a broken god that through me out of my own window for world domination," He said incredulously.

"Broken… yes," Loki murmured solemnly.

Tony was oblivious to what Loki had said, "So why'd you do it? It isn't very 'I don't want to hurt anyone' like," he used finger quotations to accentuate his point.

"Because they deserved it," he replied in a beat with a hint of anger, "I saw through their lies, I saw what they would do and I prevented that."

"Killing them wasn't very sporting."

"I did not kill them," Still Loki kept his façade of calm, "I only showed their own wrongs and their decision was theirs alone."

"What, like Jedi, 'these are not the droids you're looking for' type shtick?" Tony asked intrigued and scared.

Loki didn't reply, obviously not getting the reference.

"But why kill them, why not let them go?"

"Who are you talking to Stark? I am no hero. My modus operandi is chaos and death. My nicknames were many but most encircled the ideas of chaos," He replied as if it answered everything.

"Why not kill everyone on the bus then, just for laughs maybe?"

"Chaos without purpose is not a value I choose to seek."

"What the hell was that two years ago, then?" He asked raising his brows.

"Two years, a hundred and twenty five days," Loki added.

"Uh, yeah, if you're counting," Tony shrugged.

"There was purpose, I have no purpose… not anymore," He said so matter-of-factly and with so much hopelessness that he was thinking the god had lost any will (or it was broken out of him) to do anything, "I am a monster with no purpose, I belong nowhere."

"Wait, what? You're not a monster," Loki was seriously depressing and the fact he hadn't moved made the whole scenario creepy.

Loki turned to look at Tony, "Do monsters not destroy, do monsters not attempt to conquer, do monsters not disgust beings. Therefore I am that."

Tony narrowed his eyes incrediously, "What made you so broken and hopeless?" he asked with a questioning look. He wanted to understand why Loki was belittling himself so much.

"Existence," Loki replied looking back to the ceiling.

Tony was taken aback.

After a moments silence Loki spoke up again, still his quiet calm buddah-esqu self, "I don't mean to be rude in refusing whatever you've aloud me but may I leave? I do not wish to burden you any further. If you have no further questions my departure will be imminent."

Loki started sitting up, "Maybe I should tell S.H.E.I.L.D about this," Loki instantly froze.

"Please I beg of you, let me leave," he was starting to plead.

"Well if I don't tell shield I have to tell someone and I don't want to deal with them either, could Thor help."

"No, no, no, no, no, please don't get him he'll take me back," Loki was starting to hyperventilate, Loki was on the floor now with his knees to his chest rocking, "I... don't... want... to... go... back," he said between the hyperventilating breaths.

"Ok, ok. Just calm down," Tony tried to approach him with his hands up trying to placate the situation. Loki was like a wounded jaguar and would quickly lash out with claws and teeth if he felt threatened. Tony tried to hush him.

"No, stop, stop, no," He was back to talking to himself again and was rocking constantly shaking his head, "No, go away, go away," he started hitting his head with closed fists, "Go. Away," He started hitting his head harder making the gash in his temple bleed.

"Come on," Tony got in front of Loki quickly and tried to hold Loki's wrists. Tony knew exactly what this was and now realised that Thor was a bad word that set off some severe version of post-traumatic stress. Loki realised his hands were being held but didn't pull them away. He started banging his head against the steel leg of the table he was previously laying on.

Tony grabbed Loki's head gently but firmly in his hands, "Look at me, Loki," he was still trying to shake and kept on saying 'help' like a mantra. His eyes were tightly closed.

Tony thought it was probably a very bad idea to be this close but even Tony knew how it felt sometimes when PTSD snuck up sometimes and seeing Loki so helpless in his own skin, seeing him think less of himself because no one showed him any differently, it made Tony want to help, even if it meant getting hurt. He'd help as much as narcissistic Tony Stark could. He wasn't particularly good with his own feelings much less than someone elses.

"Loki, look at me," he said as calm and sternly as possible.

Loki started to slow down his movement and eventually dropped his hand. He looked Tony in the eyes and Loki's own eyes flicking between each of Tony's. He looked for some reassurance of safety, saying sorry, trying to claw himself back to reality, trying to forget the past. Loki was scared and hurt way beyond the physical.

Tony raised his eyebrows in concern, "You ok?" Tony looked deep into Loki's eyes.

Loki eventually lowered his head and rested it against Tony's shoulder as if he had given up. Tony wasn't quite sure of what to do as he lifted his hands in the air as if to say 'what do I do know' looking down at the god in confusion.

XoX

**MORE A/N: **Now where getting to how shit happens... sort of. Loki, no hope he has, broken inside he is. Tony is a bitch to write, he's meant to be all like "I don't know what the fuck to do, you threw me out of a window I should hate you" but how it is really is is, "I'm just going to keep on talking to you civilly and not think about the fact you're a dangerous bag of cats" I really don't know. Tony should not care so quickly damn it.

P.S. Don't be shy I mean it's not like I'm dangerous or anything (disturbed possibly). If you get confused tell me. Your reviews are love they really are. **I love you all for them and the story favourites and follows**. It just shows me you like the story enough to say #allthelokilove. We're all here for Loki right? Anyone here for Tony? Tony carers?

I. AM. OUT

*flies away*


	6. A New House for a Broken Man

Disclaimer: Not mine. Soon

**A/N:** Hello again my pretties. I bring you a gift. Aww see you think the same as me, loving the character but wanting to see him in as much pain as possible *inoccent smile* The hoodie, it will come. Just got to figure out how to put it in the story. From what I can tell from reviews... Broken!Loki is good. Well here we go. I always hate my chapters but you people seem to like them. What is wrong with you people, why are you liking this! Don't stop though, me love you.  
Completely random note, look up 'Runnin' by Adam Lambert (Don't give me that look I like him ok) BEST FROSTIRON SONG. OK I'll let you go *dying Xenomorph sounds*

WARNINGS: angsty angst, Sad!Loki... again

**Chapter 6: A New House for a Broken Man**

**xOx**

Tony let Loki stay like that for a good few (awkward) minutes. His breathing was starting to even out. A moment later Loki froze and quickly stood up, he had a look of confusion on his face that Tony knew meant Loki was completely unaware of what happened, he eventually got an idea of what happened.

His mask went back on and he was a picture of calm again, "Apologies," he said in an unsure and quiet voice.

Tony got up just as quickly, "Yeah, we'll try to keep a lid on… what that was," Tony stepped away giving him room.

Well now Tony knew to not talk about bureaucratic organisations relating to the Avengers and Thor, also going on a limb, Asgard. Loki was trying his damnedest to look the regal self he was before he left earth, the things that gave him away though was the forced calmed breathing and Loki's quick glances around the workshop, as if he was looking for escape and the slight twitch in his finger.

"May I go?" Loki asked trying to hide his body with his arms.

Tony started walking over to his desk, "Where will you go?" he called over his shoulder.

"Far away where no one can seek me," he said solemnly, "I do not wish to cause hindrance."

Tony was adamant but he didn't want Loki roaming around, he might cause trouble (unintentionally as it seems at the moment). Yet it was still a sad thought for Loki only wanting to not be seen.

Tony turned to face Loki as he sat down, "Do you have a place to live?" he asked raising a questioning eyebrow.

"I am a tramp a vagrant here. That is how it should be," Loki replied shyly.

Tony lowered his brows, "Why?"

"Sanity is not my friend at the moment, Stark. I do not wish to cause harm to the ones that may have given me lodgings," he replied again bowing his head to the floor as shame filled his voice.

Loki looked small and helpless and to some extent that angered Tony. He would've much rather had evil Loki here than sad depressed and emotionally unstable Loki.

"You can stay here," Tony said definitively. He grabbed a bottle of scotch that was under his desk and took a big swig. Tony was going to need all the help he could get from his liquid friend. He was probably fucked from this point on. But Iron Man was a hero and heroes were the hospitable kind. He wanted to keep an eye on Loki and maybe Stark Tower was the safest place. It was quiet, no one else lived there except Tony himself and Loki needed a place to stay (as Tony was loath to admit it he wanted to help him). Loki most probably didn't trust him. He thought that Loki wasn't really on the good side but was far from killing randoms.

Loki had frozen and was eyeing him carefully, "I guess sanity isn't your friend either Stark," he laughed but it was hollow and seemed pleading.

"You could definitely say that," He joked back, "but you need a place to stay, you can't go scurry away and hide in a warehouse somewhere," he added genuinely worried.

Loki stood up straight again and crossed his arms over his chest, "Is that not what animals do," he said quietly, "Is that not what we do? Do we not scurry and hide like rats? Are monsters and animals not ripped away and caged?" With each question Loki asked, his voice got louder and angrier. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths again to try and calm himself. After a moment he swallowed a lump in his throat and spoke again, "again, apologies."

"Loki you don't need to hide away," Tony was worried, "I don't expect you to take my offer and I'm sure Pepper would very much like you gone but it still stands. What do you have to hide from, huh?"

"Everything!" Loki yelled, "Every corner of my mind, I fear! Every corner here on Midgard, I fear! I hide from myself! I hide from my once great mind that is riddled with nightmares that have corrupted my sanity! The monsters that live there instead! Give me reason why I should not hide!" Loki's tears ran freely as he poured his heart into his words.

Tony got up from where he was sitting, "I'm probably not the one to comfort you but I'm offering you a safe haven here. I want to help you as hard as that is for both of us to believe."

Loki had stopped his crying but was left with the breathing that followed, Loki bowed his head again, "No one helps me," he said in a quiet voice.

"Well I am," He said sternly.

Loki looked up to see if he could detect any lie. He found none.

"Trust me. I don't want to harm just like you don't want to harm me… I think," Tony voiced calmer.

Loki nodded his head slowly keeping his eyes on the floor.

"Come with me then," Tony called a little more enthusiastically trying to lighten a very dark mood.

xOx

Tony walked up the stairs and assumed Loki was following despite the lack of audible footsteps. He eventually made his made his way down the art deco hall to the elevator that ran the whole building. He pushed the button for the elevator and turned to see Loki looking around still unsure about where he was or what to do. He was still without many clothes and as much as Tony cleaned Loki of his own blood there were still traces of blood on his skin and the gash on his temple was still open but not bleeding.

Tony entered the elevator at the sound of the ding and held it open as Loki walked in.

Loki tried to stand as far away from Tony as possible without melding into the wall.

"You know, I can stitch that wound on your he-"

"No," Loki quickly interrupted staring intently in front of him. Muscles tense.

Tony looked at him oddly and just shrugged his shoulders.

The elevator opened with another ding ending up in the penthouse on the top floor. It was dark outside. Then it hit Tony that it probably wasn't the best place to bring Loki. He cringed slightly and turned to look at the god. The room didn't seem to set of any bad flash backs or anything.

"Still chose to make it the same as it was before our confrontation," Loki said offhand getting a good look at the room, "Sorry about that."

"To be honest, you weren't actually the one who broke the place, Banner did," Tony called back with a shrug.

Either Loki put his façade back up or it was another emotional change. He wasn't sure yet what would set the god off, who seemed to be constantly on the precipice of an emotional freak out. But Banner's name didn't set him off or maybe he wasn't listening.

Loki had made his features cold and emotionless and Tony assumed it was a defensive tactic on the god's part.

Tony continued down another hall coming to a stop in front of a plain white door.

"Well this is where you can stay," Tony said off hand as he opened the door.

The room was all white and of an average size. It had three walls all a simple white and one wall that was itself a window right across from the door. There was a bed that was just about all white except for the sheets which were slate grey that ran side long with the window wall, the head board up against the wall on the right side. There were also two bedside tables and an art deco white double seater right across from the end of the bed on the left wall. The room was boring, simple as that. It had never been used it was just in the plans. Tony was sure he'd find some use for a spare room.

It was night time so the buildings in the distance lit up the horizon like stars. The only real landmark to the horizon was the Chrysler Building, all the others could've been simply passed off.

Loki gave the room a quick glance, "So what do think? The bathrooms through there," Tony said pointing to the door by the couch.

"It is more than what I'm used to," Loki replied impassively.

"I'll take that as a good," Tony stood aside to let Loki in.

Tony was looking around the place, he himself hadn't gotten a good look. Eventually Tony finished his curious wonderings when his eyes fell back to Loki who stood nearly centre in the room, his face unreadable.

Eventually Loki spoke, "If it wouldn't be at all disrespectful of me to ask but may you leave now."

"Oh, yeah right. Fine," Tony grabbed the steel handle of the door to shut it, just before he left he turned to talk to Loki again, "Just so you're aware, I'm keeping surveillance up," Tony saw Loki's questioning look, "Oh, not in this room, everywhere out of this room… Just for safe measure."

Loki nodded his understanding and turned with his hands behind his back to look out at the horizon of controlled stars, "Thank you," he called back quietly. The words sounded genuine even coming from Loki.

Tony quietly left.

xOx

Tony went to his bar first and took a big swig of something brown and alcoholic. He rubbed his face and looked out the window. To be perfectly honest the whole situation could've been far worse… Loki could've tried to kill him.

Tony finished his drink and made his way to find Loki some clothes because he must've been freezing.

Tony made his way past the room now occupied by Loki. He heard to tap running for the bath. Least he'll be clean.

He eventually got to his own room and rummaged around in his cupboard and found an olive green V-neck T-Shirt that Tony hated (green looked hideous on him) and a pair of track pants that had never been worn because someone didn't get his measurements right, he thought of Pepper she was knackered during that week.

Tony went back to Loki's room and knocked on the door. No one answered so he just left the clothes by the door.

Just as he rounded the corner to go sleep off the day, he heard the door quietly open and shut a moment later. Tony smiled to himself.

XoX

**MORE A/N: **See what did I tell you, POO. Poo is what it is. I hate you Tony you're a bitch to write. Thor well Thor will come not going to give anything away because you may hate what I do but just remember there is a bigger picture here. Shy don't be shy and I want to see more Asutralians on here. That's right people of my homeland I'm looking at you. I can't be the only fucked up one. Because you would know the glouriousness of vegemite and why I'm as a happy as a little one.

Seriously people your reviews are awesome (I mean I've got 45, 45! HIGH FIVE). I get up and check my emails and they're there making my day awesome. Still unsure as to why. LOVE YOU.

I hope I hurt you in some way today (I'm mean aren't I)

*evil laugh* *runs away*


	7. Silhouette

Disclaimer: Not. Mine.**  
**

**A/N:** HIYA PEEPS. How you doing? I love you guys and I'm pretty sure you hate me for emotionally scarring Loki, soooooo yeah you hate me *evil grin*. This chapter a half/half I likeded this one. Was listening to a total of 4 hours of J. S. Bach so that may be why it is of a higher quality (for the first part of this story anyway). 'Down Under on Stark' I see what you did thar. Aww we have some cute stuff in this chapter, slightly creepy however. HOODIE. On a completely unrelated note anything Rammstein can be a Loki song go check out their awesomeness, they are my gods... them and Loki. Go, go, go. BYE PRETTIES!

WARNINGS: Angst, weirdness, the eyes, slightly pedo, deep and meaningful

**Chapter 7: Silhouette**

xOx

The whole night Tony couldn't sleep. He would lie on his back and looked at the light on the roof caused by his arc reactor. His thoughts were calm until he remembered who was shacking up down the hall.

Tony checked the time only to be told that it was 3 in the morning. It was pitch black outside, bar the lights of the city.

He got up finding it pointless to stay lying down. He rested his arm against the window and put his forehead against it. He looked down at the city below taking in the tiny people that were still up at this hour. Everything was too small to see from up the top of the tower but when it all combined it made the city uniform.

What was New York without people running around in the middle of the night?

Tony decided that sleep wasn't gonna work. He quickly went out to go to his bar. Alcohol was his soother, calming his mind when all there was were questions. Now all his questions centred on Loki. The most important one was what had happened to him? Torture was a clear indicator and if no one figured that out, they were probably stupid, but it was more than just torture Tony thought.

Tony got to the main living room with the fire place that led to the helipad. He didn't bother putting on the lights. He knew where to go and at night he wasn't so shameless as to use the reactor as a torch when he couldn't be bothered with making his eyes adjust to light. It still wasn't that bright seeing as his shirt dulled the brightness.

He got to his bar and grabbed blindly at whatever was there making small clinking noises as glasses and bottles tapped each other. He found what he was looking for. He took a small sip to see what he'd taken; scotch. Good, he thought and took a larger gulp. The burn was good.

He looked around the black room not really searching for anything when his eyes came to something very small and shiny by the window. It looked like a faint ball of light floating by the window. Tony looked at it intently when it flicked on and off. In surprise he realised that the small light was actually an eye. He looked at it again and thought that it looked like the eye of a cat at night. Then it blinked again. It was watching intently over the city.

Tony then studied it carefully and noticed the silhouette of a body just masking out some of the lights. For a split second he thought he saw the shadow of horns but he blinked and they were gone.

"You know that the majority of your people lie," it was Loki, his voice was impassive as he looked out the window sitting cross legged on the floor, "I can walk down the streets of this city and hear thousands of lies in a very short space of time. Even now people are lying. In the dead of night people cheat on the ones they love, lie to them, telling them that their day was successful when in truth they lost their main source of stability, telling them that they had to work late, telling their children that the family will be free from trouble," Tony wasn't quite sure how to react to the random conversation, "I see, I _feel_ these lies. But up here it's quiet, looking over the city like a hawk, it's quiet, peaceful, calm. But down there," Loki tilted his head down resting his forehead on the glass looking down, "Is chaos, lies and it's organised. All the deceptions flowing naturally. Even looking from up here, your lights, they too are controlled. And you," Loki slowly turned to look at him, both eyes turning out to reflect the minimal light, "Even you control light. It has a home in your chest. Telling from your own lies it is more than just an ambient blue glow," Loki turned back to look over the cityscape, Tony kept quiet, though he was rather interested in what the god had to say, "The lies that are the most common are 'trust' and 'love', they are also the ones I despise more than anything. I know the full extent of how those words can hurt someone with irreparable harm. I shouldn't trust you and you shouldn't trust me Stark, I shouldn't trust me," the last part was said almost in a whisper, "but so far you tell me truths and for the moment I will trust you."

"That's all I ask," Tony added quietly, "I trust you more than enough but not sure about the rest of the team, though I won't be telling them of your little stay," he added raising his bottle for another drink, "And yes if you do feel like truth games, this," Tony tapped his arc reactor, "keeps me from dying. I just hope you don't use it against me is all and it's not like I can say that it wasn't keeping me alive because as you say, you're a living lie detector," Tony gave a slight chuckle.

"True," he added calmly again, "If I did want to bring you any harm, I don't think I'd need to break your light fixture to do so. I have a rather more predictable means of injuring people. I like to know what will happen, for all I know if that thing comes out, you could die instantly."

"Well it's nice to know you're so impassive on the subject."

"Like I said before I have no reason to harm you," Loki was still impassive and still looking at the city, "You've shown me truth and dare I say it kindness."

There was a silence for a moment and Tony watched Loki as he watched to city intently, "See anything interesting?" Tony asked, breaking the silence.

"More than you know… but for the moment the image is calming," He replied.

Tony pointed at Loki's head area, "So can you see in the dark or something? 'Cause your eyes have got the whole cat thing goin' on."

Loki turned his head and looked at Tony, he looked like an apex predator in the dark and was that… a wink. He turned his head back and Tony could swear he saw a smirk on the god's features. Good to know his mood was at 'normal'.

"I have a question for you," he remembered Loki siting in the cold of a warehouse with nothing but pants, "What happened to your clothes before you got here because I know that you had a hoodie earlier on today?"

"What a trivial question Stark," the god scoffed.

"Hey, got to talk about something."

Loki shrugged, "I found a better use for it."

Tony started to walk over and slid down one of the glass panels and sat cross legged with his back against it a few feet away from Loki. Tony gave him a good look as his head rested against the glass. The light outside was starting change the sky from an almost black colour to an ever changing lighter blue as the sun began to rise. Up closer Tony could see Loki clearer, the arc reactor light up the area minutely. He noticed Loki was wearing the clothes he'd left in front of the door (he may or may have not smiled at that). He also noticed Loki's bandaged arm and from the looks of it he'd made a makeshift hand wrap from the leather of his old pants and had wrapped it around his arm. It wound up his arm ending just below his elbow. From the looks of it the leather was ripped with his teeth.

"How's the arm?" Tony asked conversationally.

"It will heal," for all Tony knew he could be in the worst possible pain and he probably wouldn't tell the mortal Jack.

Loki was absentmindedly rubbing circles on the leather.

"I like what you did to it, jazzin' it up," in the low light he really couldn't tell but it did look better than white bandages.

The god continued to stare out the window.

After a comfortable silence Tony could feel sleep creeping back to him, "Well, I'm tired I hope if I leave you, you won't do something drastic."

Loki didn't answer. He just kept on staring at either the city or the sky rather intently.

Tony pulled himself up, "Well nice chat."

Silence.

Tony walked out slightly dizzy from the alcohol but it made him also drowsy. He had just got into the hall when he heard a quiet voice that sounded as if it said 'thank you'.

xOx

_Earlier that day _

Loki wandered the alleys of New York City. It had started to pour down with rain and he lifted his hoodie to stop the wet hitting his face. The hoodie he was glad for, it was warmer than it looked and he was happy it was slightly water resistant. The rain was calming. The sound of water hitting bricks and mortar, hitting the asphalt and hitting the metal of cars and bins.

The events on the bus made Loki weak. Willing someone's mind was a task no one under took, though it wasn't really willing, more so a projection of their wrongs. As much as he would've let what happened take it's due course but as heartless and monstrous as people thought he was, he didn't want evil to take part on this day, especially at the loss of a child. Those who chose to hurt the innocent lesser than themselves for the sake of their precious reputation sickened the trickster. The god had compassion for the younger of the Midgardians, they were less likely to lie and innocence never lasted so he savoured their happiness.

The first experience he had with a child of Midgard was one of his first few days in the god-awful place. Central Park was the location for his meeting.

He sat in the darkness of a small underpass of a bridge hiding away like an injured animal after his mind decided to have another drastic switch in capacities. He sat shaking and scared and disgusted with himself. His self-control was shot and his forms were constantly changing. He hid away, hiding his form from the light for the moment, he was the colour of a midnight sky just before the dawn when it was blue and wished to change but only self-control could bring his skin back to it's Aesir pink. His mind was riddled and it denied him such luxuries. So he hid.

He heard the sound of a child running and playing cheerfully just past the overpass. The child must've caught a look at Loki's eyes because he peered in intrigued. He stayed back though, not entering the shadow area. In his hand a green apple that must've been for the child's lunch.

"Are you a jaguar," the boy called who looked about seven, "I've seen the documentaries. Big cats have eyes like that."

Loki visibly eased even though no one saw. The boy couldn't see him apart from what the Midgardians liked to call the, 'eyes of an animal' (it seemed rather fitting).

"If I was one of your predatory feline creatures would you not be scared?" he asked in a calming and soothing voice, that could've been misinterpreted as something sinister, to the inquisitive child, "I may eat you."

The boy looked ecstatic, "You talk!" the boy's features saddened slightly but he still had a smile, "I was hoping your were a big cat."

"Sorry to disappoint you small mortal."

"A big cat would be fun, scare away bullies. Well now I can be your friend now you can talk," he said with a wide grin.

"Why would you want that," Loki said solemnly, "I'm a monster. I scare little ones like yourself away."

"Not all monsters are mean," he quickly replied cheerily. Before Loki could be angry at the small mortal he talked again, "Are you hungry?" he asked holding out the apple. Loki didn't answer but stared, "Take it. It's a green apple. I like green apples best because they're green," the boy still had the awful smile on his face that made Loki want to smile but he kept his face of indifference.

Loki slowly put his hand out of the shadow. Long black nails on a blue hand, looking more like talons, opened out in acceptance gracefully.

The little boy happily put the apple in his hand and Loki's hand shot back into the shadows with the apple.

"You're blue!"

Loki grunted knowing what the child would say or do. He would call him monster and run away screaming.

"Blue's my favourite!" he exclaimed with more delight than anything Loki had heard.

He was more than surprised and bemused at the child's reaction.

"What?"

"Your arm is a nice blue."

Loki was still bemused and blinked owlishly, "Here," Loki eventually said and held out a thin gold chain that hung in his empty hand. It had a small pendant on it depicting a wolf and snake playing and runes were set on the outside of the circle pendant, the child could use it more than him… a gift from a god, "Kindness should not go un rewarded."

The boy looked hesitantly, Loki moved his hand in a gesture that said 'take it'. He took it cautiously.

"It will bring you luck," Loki put a finger too his mouth as if to hush him, "Keep it a secret or it won't work," he whispered.

"Thomas!" a woman called in the distance.

"It was very nice to meet you," the boy said genuinely, he started running to the woman that called his name, "Bye Blue!" he called back to Loki, "Coming!"

Loki knew that kindness to children could be misconstrued on Midgard. The boy spoke what he thought was truth. He was brave for coming near, maybe it was stupidity. He saw in the child's eyes his honesty and could tell of his broken home that he came from. The bullying he suffered though he still showed kindness. The child needed the luck of a god.

Loki got out of his musings making him more tired. He sat at a bus stop in just enough shelter to stop the rain from being annoying. A boy about 11 sat on the opposite side of the bench at the bus stop. He was shivering, all he wore were a pair of mud covered jeans and an Iron Man t-shirt (oh the irony it had then and now). It was old by the looks of it, something that he'd found most probably.

The child looked sad. Despair filled his eyes and he knew the boy was alone in the world but Loki asked anyway, "Where are your parents?" he asked kindly, leaning in.

"Gone," the boy said quickly looking at the rain hitting the pavement. The boy's shivers were almost violent. Eventually he turned to look at the young man that asked of something he wanted to not remember. The boy's face changed to almost horror as he saw who was under the hood, "Y-you're –."

Loki put a finger to his own lips to hush the boy, "Shhh," he was obviously more observant than others and clearly a fan of the figure on the shirt. He still knew of what the villain looked like that failed to bring harm only a few years ago.

Loki stood up and took off his hoodie. He had no shirt underneath. He whispered something into the fabric and it instantly became dry and warm. Loki put it in the rain for a second and pulled it back in showing the water didn't touch the fabric.

He handed the enchanted jumper to the boy and walked away instantly becoming soaked. He wondered the city becoming drenched to the bone. His final place he ended up was that of where the Man of Iron would find him.

XoX

**MORE A/N: **People let me know if my authors notes are annoying because you know I can stop it a little. Me loves your love. Even in anon. Love you. Too bad there's no Australians *sad face* Oh well. Coming in first place on the viewing board with a whopping lead *drum roll* the United States. Second place we have the United Kingdom and in third Canada. Thought you might like to know, I know I would. Keep it coming. Your lurv is mah lurv.

I shall flee this scene, adios.


	8. The Blood of Uncertainty

Disclaimer: Nothing damn it.

**A/N:** OMG I din't forget you. I just had massive writers block OK. Still love you ok. If I could I'd put up all the 'let me love you' gifs but yeah, cant.  
I don't even like this word vomit. It hurts my brain. It hurts Loki. It must be done. Did any of you listen (look at the translation) to Rammstein, no, ok. Another recommended song 'Ultra Numb' by Blue Stahli. With this chapter I've got to stop listening to hardstyle and nightcore I mean I don't think it helps. This chapter turned into a horror movie and I think when I get ideas latter on imma add em'. Because I don't like breaking continuity, it's annoying. Bye lovelies if you're reading this word vomit than I love you. Love, love, luuuuurv.

**WARNINGS**: There be blood in these here waters, scary stuff, horror I guess (this is pretty tame for me, I've seen worse)

**Chapter 8: The Blood of Uncertainty**

**xOx**

Tony woke up and instantly regretting opening his eyes. How much did he actually drink to make himself fall asleep? Because it felt like a hell of a lot. His sleep was however restless. He got up in search of coffee. Mmm, coffee. Sleep when you're dead, right?

He was making his way down the hallway when he remembered he had an emotionally scarred deity living in his tower. He treaded a little quieter than he normally would. He ended up back in the living area that he had a rather unusual conversation with the god early in the morning. It was probably best to be honest with him not just the fact that he could tell when you lied but the fact it would help the trust thing. Which the god seemed to have trouble with, even with his own mind, which made Tony feel slightly… sad for him. He shouldn't have sympathy for the devil but it seemed to be heading in that direction.

Tony got to the living area and saw Loki exactly where he saw him last night. He was sitting with a ram rod straight back and looked like a meditative pose rather than sitting. His hand resting on his knees, palms facing up.

"Morning," Tony tried to sound cheery hoping the god would ease up a bit.

The god turned his head slightly then all of a sudden he was gone in smoke but not ordinary smoke it looked like green dye in water.

"Good to see you were up," He said to the now empty room.

Tony wondered whether Loki had actually gone to bed or if he stayed there all night. He asked his A.I.

"No, sir. It seems as if your guest stayed the night and part of the morning there," came the disembodied voice.

Tony gave a look of confusion, "Did he move at all?" Tony was in the process of making his coffee.

"Apart from the posture, no, sir."

Tony leant against the counter of the small kitchen. That was a little worrying, though it was quite fluffy in comparison to what else happened yesterday.

"Was there anything weird about what he was doing?" he asked, "Like I don't know… talking to himself," he added light heartedly but it was a true concern.

"For approximately 97 precent of the night Loki did nothing, sir. The other 3 precent he was conversing with himself."

"And what did said 3 precent consist of? Gimme some themes here Jarvis," there was a slight air of worry to his voice. The only thing he'd been talking to himself about wasn't really all that fantastic or fluffy. It gave him enough reason to worry.

"It wasn't quite audible, sir. However words such as; skin, burn, tear, rip, blood, monster, flesh, blue, stab, carve, sew and cut were heard," in the context those words made Tony feel slightly sick, "and words that were repeated quite frequently were; no, stop and help," JARVIS finally said and there was a hint of sadness to the A.I.'s voice.

Something made Tony's heart clench up. He couldn't possibly want to help Loki as much as he did. It cut Tony deep to know that something (or more than something) had hurt the god so. Tony knew what PTSD felt like, getting memories when something seemed familiar and made it a trigger. But everything to the god seemed to be a trigger, just sitting down made the god jumpy. It must be tiring being so scared of everything, even your own mind. As it seemed Loki prized himself on his mind, or did. If Tony had that happen to him he'd probably ended everything. He was sure Loki tried to do that to himself. Maybe it was just a defensive technique but Tony knew more than he led on. Something told him it was psychological and no matter how hard he tried, he knew, _he knew_, there wouldn't be much help for Loki but he was damn well going to try.

"Where's Loki now?"

"He seems to be in his room."

Tony decided to leave the god be for the moment as adamant as he was about it. He wanted to keep on reassuring Loki he was safe here but a lot of something else told him to give him space.

XOX

The next few days were quiet. More than quiet if Tony was honest. He hadn't heard a sound from Loki. He constantly asked if the god was ok and the A.I. answered in the affirmative. One day however, things got weird (weirder than having a chaos god in his house) and disturbing.

It was beautiful outside; even though it was dark Tony could see clear over the city. The light dancing over the Hudson gave it that little extra bit of personality. As always he had had pizza from his favourite take away a few blocks away. Deciding he'd worked enough today on a few adjustments of his repulsors and decided to hit the hay. Picking up the pizza and putting it in the fridge not noticing the flicker from the lights inside.

Tony stood by the window checking out the scenery of the clear night. He would go for a joy flight soon, hadn't done that in ages, he thought and he checked his reflection. In the distance of the reflection he thought he saw a silently laughing and bloodied Loki. As quickly as he saw it he quickly turned to see no such thing and cautiously shrugged it off. It was probably time for everyone to go to sleep. Definitely.

He left the cool window, cautiously looking around because really who wouldn't scour the area after seeing things. Tony had just walked past the carpeted area by the fire place when he felt a prickling feeling on the back of his neck making him feel sick. The smell of iron assaulted his nose and he stopped dead in his tracks. The lights in the living area started to flicker on and off behind him. Every muscle in his back tensed up and fear rushed over him.

He turned around to see the living area covered in blood, more blood than what'd be considered a dangerous amount to loose. It was smeared along one of the window panes, sprays of it on other panels; it looked like there was a struggle. There were bloody hand prints that dragged down the window as if the person was being torn down. The grey slate floor was just about covered in the fluid, looking like someone had slipped in it multiple times and they'd been dragged. Bloody hand prints looked as if they clawed at the floor to get away from being dragged to whatever unimaginable horror awaited them. Tony paled and was feeling more than sick. He covered his mouth with both hands.

The feeling of crying and screaming and throwing up was overwhelming. The very large horrific blood trail led onto the carpet area behind a couch. Tony didn't want to move, he wanted to run. He rushed any way nearly slipping on the blood and regretting it straight away. He saw Loki on the carpet trying to crawl away from something, he was paper white and the blood that covered his entire body and face made it a sickening contrast. The simplistic fabrics he wore were torn and blood seeped from the holes in his peasant looking clothes. He was beyond injured. Loki was crying, from pain, fear and everything Tony couldn't imagine. He raised his bloodied, shock shaking hand to Tony, reaching out for help. His face was the epitome of pain as he strained to look at him from the ground and he tried to plead and yell 'help' but all could be heard was the sickening gurgle of blood as he tried through a slit throat. He tried to look more at Tony but the movement caused the large gash in his neck to be pulled and torn wider.

"Please," came the sickeningly sad plea for help.

His lips and surrounding area were horrific to say the least. The wounds looked jagged and looked like the skin had been torn wide open around his mouth. A deep wound ran from his forehead running its way over Loki's brow, down his cheek and splitting open the flesh of the right side of his mouth, the scar looked like a ravine in the pale face. His black hair made the white stand out even more and it was soaked, though Tony already knew what from.

He looked in shock as he tried to take his hands away from his mouth and reach out to help Loki who was bleeding to death on his floor. Tony still stood in shock though still not believing his eyes. Loki still tried to call out then the lights flickered on and off again making the whole scene disappear with the short circuiting of the lights. He stood rigid trying to blink back the fear and the whole experience all together. What was it he actually saw? The whole scene reminded him of the very violent, gorey R rated horror movies that left you feeling sick. But that, that felt real, the smell of blood, the look of pure pleading pain, those injuries.

Tony quickly snapped out of the horrific trance of whatever he saw that put him under. He sprinted away as fast as he could, stopping at Loki's door. How was that even possible? What did he see? He wanted to see if it was a dream, or a projection or something. Something that would give him an explanation, something that will allow him to shove those images out of his head.

He barged through the door, lights flickering on and off. A few second later the lights stayed on. Loki sat in the middle of the room with his legs crossed facing the window. All the furniture had been violently pushed to the walls.

Tony quickly ran to Loki. He bent down and grabbed Loki's jaw; he was impossibly cold, almost like ice. He inspected the face carefully. Loki himself had glassed over eyes and his face was emotionless but staring at him as his head moved freely with Tony's hands. Tony lifted the gods jaw with panic to see if there were any scars and intently looked over the rest of his features for the deep scars that marred his face. He found none. All he found was perfect pale skin, too perfect.

"Can I help you?" the god asked kindly with a soothing voice. He still let Tony hold his head.

Tony quickly released the god's head.

Loki slowly brought his head level, staring back out of the window. Still he wasn't his vibrant self that Tony knew. All the colour from those once piercing eyes was now replaced with a dull emotionless green, they were piercing still but for a whole new terrifying reason.

"What happened to you?" Tony asked stepping away from the god sitting on the floor. He started to feel more and more uncomfortable.

Loki turned his head slowly to look at him, he was frighteningly calm, "Do you really want to know?" was the ominous reply.

That was a good question. Did he want to know? He did but the thought frightened him, "If it's gonna help me then fucking yes," No. But the itch in the back of his head said yes while the rest said said run the fuck away and get out of Dodge. He went with the itch.

The god gave a small chuckle and turned slightly robotically to look back through the window, "He will tell you in time."

"What do you mean 'he'," Tony made the emphasis on the 'he'.

"Soon," he said as if to hush him, "now leave us. You might want to try and rid your mind of what you've seen."

"And what did I see."

"Soon," he hushed again.

Tony cautiously left the god in the almost decimated room. What was Loki on about? All of this crap was doing his head in and he knew he was going to dream of blood, lots and lots of blood, if he could even get to sleep.

xOx

**MOAR A/N THINGY**: Next time on Home and Away, jks. You'd laugh your titties off if you knew who was in that show. Anywho, what ya think. I know terrible word vomit, naughty Caitlin, naughty *slaps hand*. I just seem to keep on hurting our lovable god of mischief don't I. And horror movies don't fase me I hope me didn't irk you too much IT GETS WORSE. I really don't know where this is going, it's hurting my brain. It looks all polished in my head but then I write it down and realise it's more like peasant garb and it don't make no sense. Anypoo. As alway I appreciate your love and regular commenters I love you *virtual hugs*

Until next time you sexy beasts, stay awesome!


	9. My Lonely Shadow

**Disclaimer: not mine**

**A/N:** Hi again. Welcome to the next chapter. This one didn't hurt my brain so much. More hurt Loki *shrugs*. YAY for the awesome person who has good taste in music. As always I find my blabbering annoying but yeah what ya' gonna do. Bye lovelies if you're reading this word vomit than I love you. Love, love, luuuuurv. And yes Chris Hemsworth was in the gayest Australian soap opera called Home and Away from 2004 to 2007 he was in a 185 episodes (useless TV trivia brought you by yours truly). No one thought he'd be big AND LOOK AT HIM NOW! Sorry for boring you *flies away*

**WARNINGS**: Retarded medical jargon, movie references, creepy ****** (won't tell you, have to find out)

**Chapter 9: My Lonely Shadow**

* * *

A week passed since the unfortunate vision slash horror show or whatever the fuck he saw, happened. Tony even asked JARVIS to delete the footage and to his dumbfounded surprise, there was none. No footage of what happened recorded; all that was recorded was static, brown noise. Tony was glad that there wasn't any footage or was he. If there was no footage than maybe he was going crazy.

In those seven days that pasted Tony avoided the god's room like a plague. Not that he came out or anything. The silence made him feel uncomfortable it was eerie and any sleep he had recently was filled with vague dreams that left him reeling. He stayed in the workshop avoiding sleep as much as possible.

He looked at his clock in the workshop; 8 o'clock in the morning. He started off the night with just drawing up some blue prints and schematics and now he was remodelling some ideas for a suit. He took of the red welding glasses. Pepper said it probably wasn't the best idea to wear a singlet while welding, pfft whatever.

Pepper had messaged him a few times to warn (with vigour) and ask when Loki would leave. He told her the truth, (minus the whole seeing things, thing) that Loki was just staying in the room and that he would've forgotten the god was staying at the tower, he was that quiet. To his surprise she sounded concerned for him.

Tony rubbed at his eyes as he checked the time again. The workshop was quiet, the whole building seemed quiet. The whir of the machines was a quieter than usual and Dummy was staying out of the way.

"Jarvis how is our resident god this fine morning?" as chirpy as he was the concern was still there, however it had slightly subsided. He asked the A.I. every day if Loki was doing ok, again always in the affirmative.

"Your guest seems to be in good health, sir."

That was all he needed to know. He was sure the A.I. would inform him of any issues. None had occurred so far which eased Tony.

He went back to working but this time abandoned the welder. He went to his holographic display to work on some prototype plans for the future. He put the music on he'd left off during the welding. Black Sabbath boomed at a volume that may be considered damaging.

For at least an hour or so he worked rather well. There was a prickling sensation on the back of his neck like he was being watched and he stopped as he was touching one of the projections. The music was still blearing but he thought he heard something. With the command of mute the music turned off and the room went quiet again.

Tony still felt the prickling feeling and turned quickly. The room was empty except for his machines.

He eyed the room carefully and turned back. Just as he was about to start the music again he heard a laugh. More like a giggle and the giggle of what sounded like a little girl that echoed through the room. Tony quickly spun around and there was no one there. He heard the giggle again.

"Hello?" he's voice squeaked as he cautiously stepped forward. He swallowed, "Hello?" he said more calmly.

The sound of laughter reached his ears and he quickly spun in the direction it came from to find nothing. Something brushed past him on the other side and he turned in that direction. He was not freaking out, no. It was getting to a thin line.

"Help him," came a quiet voice of a little girl brushing his ear as if it had been whispered. He quickly turned to the voice and again there was nothing.

"What?" he nearly squeaked.

The giggle came again which sent bad shivers down his spin. He'd be lying if he didn't say he was expecting some scary little shit to come out of nowhere with a chef's knife and stab him. It was really creepy, like little schoolgirls in Sunday dress singing Ring a Ring o' Rosie creepy.

"Follow me," came the whispered voice. Tony spun around again. He felt like his heart was going to rip out of his chest. He'd subconsciously clutched his chest covering his arc reactor.

The laugh came again but this time by the glass wall and door. He saw what looked like a little girl with long black hair, in an old white dress, run past the door and around the corner. Tony slapped his face to try and get rid of the sight. What has his life coming to? It was starting to become a horror movie. He let out a slightly scared and frustrated yell.

The lights in the workshop started to flicker on and off and demonic voice found its way to his ears, "Now," it ordered. The lights returned back to normal, "Please," the voice turned back to its innocent and creepy quality, "Please help," it added sadly.

Tony didn't bother to answer and just ran after the little girl he saw run down the hall. If he stayed he'd be fucked and if he went he'd be fucked, so he chose the latter for something a little more exciting way to be fucked. He also had a sneaking suspicion this was about Loki.

Tony rounded the corner where he saw the little girl go down another corner down the hall; the giggles echoed making the whole situation seem like The Shinning. He rounded a few more corners all to the same situation of the little girl being further ahead leading the way.

Eventually the chase ended as he saw the little girl by Loki's door. Tony got a good look at her now as she stood by the door down the hall. She had waist long black hair that covered half her face and pale blue eyes. She turned to the door and walked through it like a phantom.

He cautiously went to the door and opened it to find the handle as cold as ice. He got into the room to find the little girl to be whispering something in Loki's ear as he sat slouched over on the floor. The little girl saw Tony and disappeared like a ghost.

The room was freezing and Tony could see his breath. He clutched himself to get warm. Loki sat in the middle of the room slumped over himself facing the window looking more like shit than usual. From what he could tell Loki was sweating and shivering.

"Hey, you ok Reindeer Games?" he asked with more certainty than what he felt.

Loki didn't reply instantly and just sat unmoving, "Why does she trust you?" the shaky voice was almost inaudible.

"Don't know what you're talking about. Maybe I'm just a trustworthy guy though," Tony came further into the room still with his arms wrapped around himself, the t-shirt wasn't helping the situation.

"Hey, you ok?" he asked.

There was no reply. Tony made his way in front of the god. He did look like shit, more than shit, his hair was stuck on his forehead as he was sweating profusely, he was shivering, there were deep bags under his eyes and he was sickeningly pale. His eyes were glassed over and he swayed slightly as Tony got closer. He was clutching himself like he was cold as well.

"You don't look so flash, bud," he went to touch Loki's forehead. He had a scorching fever and the temperature difference to the room was staggering.

Now that he was close enough he could smell something off, like death or rotting flesh. Tony knelt down and noticed where the smell was coming from. Tony's calm was starting to break again. Loki swayed slightly before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell forward. Tony caught him before he hit the ground and sat with him on his lap.

"Fucking, shit," was all Tony could think of, "Why can't I leave you alone without you getting hurt, you little shit."

Tony gently shook him to no response. He checked his heart rate which was through the roof, "Come on," he said panic finding his way to his voice again as he gently tried to slap the god awake.

Loki slowly opened his eyes halfway and started to speak something so quiet that Tony couldn't hear until he put his ear by Loki's mouth, "Kill me," was the slow and quiet plea that Tony heard.

Tony's head shot right back up. He shook his own head violently, no way was that something he'd partake in. Loki's eyes rolled back again and his breathing was becoming faster. Fuck.

Tony pulled out his phone hastily. He needed as much help as he could get. This was something he was not familiar in dealing with. He put in the speed dial for Bruce Banner. If there was a medical problem that'd need to be kept under wraps he was the one to go to and this was a serious medical problem.

The phone rang a couple of time with no answer, "come on you nerdy fuck, pick up the phone."

He heard the voice mail, "Fuck!"

He tried again. This time he answered, "Hello, Tony? I can't talk right now-."

"Uh, Brucie, no time for chitchat I have a serious fucked up problem here," the worry and panic evident in his voice.

There was a pause on the other end, "What have you done Tony?"

"Nothing!" he shot back, "just tell come over to the tower. Quickly. In the meantime tell me how to treat septic shock?"

"Wait. Tony what do you mean septic shock?"

Tony slapped Loki again trying to get him back to consciousness, "Come on, wake up," he said impatiently. The god did nothing.

"Tony what's happening?" the concern was in Bruce's voice as well.

"Come to the tower!"

"Ok, ok. But if you have Septicemia you need to go to ICU, like immediately."

"Yeah well I can't take him to ICU," he said getting slightly angry.

"Why, Tony? If someone is in septic shock they need serious treatment."

"You'll see when you get to the tower," he said through gritted teeth.

Tony looked down at the now tiny looking god and his arm that seemed to be causing so much trouble. Loki had taken the bandages and leather wraps off. The wound looked worse than when he did it. There was bruising around the edge of the wound and it was bleeding slightly and from the looks of it he'd tried to rip more skin off, the whole wound looked badly infected. The god gave a violent shake that nearly made Tony drop the phone.

"Shit, come to the tower Bruce!"

"Ok. What medical equipment do you have?"

"I have a whole medical level," he would've put Loki in there in the first place but he needed to watch over him.

"OK. You got anti-biotics?"

"No. No don't have those," Ok so it wasn't a fully stocked up medical level.

"I'll be over as quickly as possible with anti-biotics."

He could hear Bruce get up from where he was sitting, "Get him to the medical level and I'll see you there in about twenty minutes."

The phone cut off and Tony quickly lifted Loki up. The god was even hotter now but the room still felt like the back of a freezer.

"I just hope you don't die as much as you want that," he said as he carried Loki to the medical level.

xOx

Tony had placed Loki in a medical room that was just four rooms with one large window to see the patient and a bed. He looked so small in the sheets. There were so many cracks that the god had and yet none were visible, all of them hidden behind porcelain skin somehow and there were many more that ran far too deep. After Bruce would come he'd keep an eye on him.

He didn't want this. He wanted to figure out what was wrong. He didn't even really know what had happened to him. All Tony could tell from it was torture. Maybe he should ask when the lonely god woke up.

Tony stood by the window with his arms crossed looking into the room waiting for Bruce. Frost was starting to creep its way up the window. He thought as to why his A.I. hadn't informed him of Loki's deteriorating health.

"Jarvis, why didn't you tell me Loki's health was failing? Because that may've been important information to know."

"My systems showed Loki to be in good health, sir."

"Wait, how? This isn't good health," Tony said taken aback, "Have you noticed any problems with the system?"

"There seems to have been some interference since the arrival of Loki, sir"

Tony raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Wow, the little shit is messing with my equipment," how was that even possible. He knew that his magic was strong but didn't think it was strong enough to mess with his electronics, even when unconscious.

"Who's messing with your equipment?" came Bruce's voice from the door, "I came as quick as I could," Bruce started to quickly walk in the room, "So what was so urgent and who?"

Tony pointed a finger at the glass to the figure on the bed. Banner turned his head slowly to the glass, "What's wrong you look-," he cut himself off as he saw Loki on the bed.

"You need to help him, quickly," Tony said trying to get Bruce back to reality.

"What? Why?" he asked confused.

"Because for all I know he's fucking dying, ok?" he was starting to get frustrated and he really didn't want to panic.

Bruce was looking as if he was thinking about he's options.

"And don't you fucking dare say he deserves it. From what I can tell he's suffered way more than what would be considered enough."

"Ok, ok," Bruce looked at him suspiciously and he hurried into the room.

"He's out cold Bruce, he's not going to bite," Tony said as he realised Bruce was trying to side step the situation.

Bruce noticed Loki's arm and Tony did his best to clean it up. He looked in shock horror and looked at Tony in question.

Tony had come in the room to help, "I'll tell you when you've done your doctor stuff. Now hurry."

Bruce worked quickly, like the Flash quickly. He'd seen this sort of stuff when he was hiding in India. It was really bad the wound and Tony trusted him to do his best even if he was helping a known super villain.

He sat waiting in the other room for him to finish. He sat in a chair that was in the corner rubbing his forehead. Bruce came back in and took off the gloves with a slap.

"He should be fine soon. I've given him anti-biotics via intravenous to fight off the Septicemia and his on hemodialysis. There will probably be permanent damage but I don't know his physiology. It's pretty deep. He's also malnourished like he hasn't eaten in a week." He looked out of the window to the god, the frost was starting to die down, "what happened?" the concern was in his voice too now.

"He cut himself," Tony said, too tired to really give anything else.

"Tony that's more than a cut."

"I'll tell you because it'll put a perspective on how his mind is working at the moment," Bruce was intently listening, "He took a scalpel to his arm and dug as deep as he could. Once he'd done that he tore the skin off with his bare hands," Tony was pleading with his eyes for Bruce to understand.

Bruce's eyes were wide and he turned to look back at Loki, "Why?"

Tony thought for a moment, "I think he thinks he's a monster. Not just for the things his done but something else. He hasn't been in a right place Bruce. When I found him a week or so ago he was alone in a warehouse with hardly any clothes and he was talking to himself," he looked into the middle distance as he recalled what happened, "He's fucked up Bruce. I only found him because I saw a weird news report that involved some dudes on a bus committing suicide. Whatever punishment he had it was more than enough for him to have what looks like some weird split personality thing and drive him insane plus add severe suicidal tendencies to that list. You know he asked me to kill him like half an hour ago?"

Bruce was more than a bit surprised by the whole situation, "Wow. I mean, I should probably do some scans or something," Banner was surprisingly calm, "Tony you look like shit."

"Yeah," he knew why but he wasn't going to tell Bruce he was seeing things. All of this drained him.

Bruce went back to looking over Loki, now that he was all cleaned up and bandaged. He used the Stark equipment to get better scans. Loki lay on flat operating table like bed. Tony couldn't help but feel bad for him with all those tubes in him; he was small despite his height.

"Uh, Tony, have a look at this," Bruce called from across the room. He'd taken the scan and was now in the room out of Loki's with them.

Tony got up with a sigh, "If it's about the organs than I know."

"What? No, nothing's wrong with his organs. Why what was wrong with his organs?" Bruce became side tracked by the subject he brought up.

"When I found him his organs were all in the wrong spots, like they were taken out then put back in. Guess they fixed themselves."

Bruce hummed noncommittally, "Interesting," he looked over the scans again.

Tony coughed as to say, 'you were saying'.

"Oh yeah," he brought up the holographic scan of Loki's body, "Look, what do you see?"

He inspected it carefully, "What?" He saw nothing unusual.

Bruce tapped where he wanted Tony to look.

He gave it a good thorough looking over, and then stopped. What. He went back to analysing it in his head, "What, no. You've – No."

Bruce stood there nodding his head, "Really."

"So he's…?"

"Yep."

"You mean he's got…?"

"Yep."

"Nooo," Tony said disbelievingly then went to look at the diagram again, "Wow."

"Yeah, well we know now that Loki the god of mischief is intersexed," he said as if he still wasn't believing it.

"No kidding," Tony added with the same dumbfounded tone, "Do you think Thor has that going on downstairs?"

Bruce thought about it for a sec, "No. I don't think so. Only way is to ask."

"Well wouldn't that be an awkward question," the whole idea was a little farfetched. He was still having trouble believing it, "What, do we like check this out or something?" He'd never seen both before. Who has?

"No Tony," he said as if scolding him, there was a moment of silence, "I thought you already did scans on him," he asked as if Tony was stupid.

"I did but why would I be searching for a uterus when he clearly looks like a dude?" he replied rolling his eyes.

"Good point," Bruce added shrugging a shoulder.

Both Tony and Bruce stood by the window looking at sleeping Loki.

After a few moments silence Bruce spoke, "So why'd you do it?"

"Hmm?" he hummed his gaze still fixated on Loki.

"Why'd you take him in? Thought you hated him. He did throw you out of a window," he said matter of factly.

"I'll show you the footage of the bus when we're done here. As much as you probably don't believe me, I think he's changed not for the good and not for the bad," there was sadness in the statement, "He's just… changed. I mean he's broken and for some fucked up reason I want to at least help."

Bruce nodded his head and there was another long moment of silence, "I won't tell SHEILD."

He nodded his head in thanks and Bruce went back to looking at the scans. Who knows what'd happen if SHEILD got a hold of him. Why did Tony care so much? That seemed to be the big question.

* * *

**MOAR NOTEY THINGYS**: Ooooooh. The Shinning. I was sneaky. Brought in someone new *creepy ass evil grin* YAY. LOOK LOOK, intersex, ooooooooh. I write Loki how I want and he has a vajayjay as well, I do what I want *sassy face*. But honestly I hope you don't mind it, it'll play into the nasty stuff later on and not the good nasty. Oh and who's this little girl/phantom/ghost, DUN DUN DUUUUUN. **LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT BRUCE TO SEE ONE OF THOSE WEIRD THINGS TONY SAW** (with Tony as well) Or I'll make those horrific visions all for Tony. Either way is peaches.

See it was terrible. Again. Lets just assume for the record that all the chapters I write I don't like. That'll make it easier and it'll seem less whiny. LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO STOP STUPID A/Ns, because I'm not sure whether I annoy the crap out of some of you. Awesome sauce!

CIAO PEEPS, till next time. Stay awesome. LURV U! You are my rock(s).


	10. Beginning of Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Y'all know the drill.**

**A/N**: I had a real bad fucking week so didn't get much chance I didn't use my brain so I basically became a vegetable. ANYWHO on a lighter note here be another. Most people wanted Tony to share, so VISIONS FOR ALL. And yes Loki has a vajayjay, mangina, penis pocket (did I really just type that, ew) whatever you want to call it. There won't be any consensual Mpreg just to let peeps know. Also on my personal opinion I don't like Banner in the Avengers, throw your rotten vegetables my way! (NEW LOVE FOR RUFFALO, thank the Avengers gag reel for that (fucking Joss Whedon)) so no Tony/Bruce no Loki/Bruce and any other variant (I'll be nice to Brucie though) The mother fucking gag reel, I swear I did not laugh that hard. Ever (_Dude's, you're on your own! Excellent, Avengers mascot, mmmmm_ (if you haven't seen it you've been living under a rock)). **EDWARD NORTON IS MY BANNER!**

Not Nameless, I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD AHHHH, you sir are my kind of person I like you, Yes. Myurra-K, YAY AUSTRALIAN and your words made me squee uncontrollably. ALL THE WORDS PEOPLE

**WARNINGS**: Blood (always with the blood), the human/god body should stay closed (a rib cage can't do that... can it?), Loko Loki, Cray Cray Loki. Also realise Loki is missing a substantial amount of marbles so anything weird is caused by that. Do I see Tony feels. SAD!LOKI. Like really sad. Oooh the girl. * cackles*

**Chapter 10: Beginning of Nightmares**

* * *

Bruce continued to work and look over scans. Tony hadn't seen Bruce in a while. Apparently he was working for S.H.E.I.L.D. so he wasn't sure whether or not he'd rat Tony out or keep this a secret.

"You're doing surprisingly well," Tony said as if he'd just remembered he was the Hulk, "How's Mr Big n' Green coping with this whole situation?"

Bruce stopped, "Yeah not too bad. I nearly lost it for a second back there," he pointed out the window to Loki, "But he seemed harmless, so I guess 'he' didn't feel threatened," he added with a shrug, "There was something about him. Something felt… wrong," he added cryptically.

"Ooh new agey, I like that. Maybe you and god of despair over there can be best pals when he wakes up. You know helping with the both of your Jekyll and Hyde situations," he joked lightly.

Bruce was back working and the idea obviously didn't bode well. He was sure he didn't want to even talk to Loki. Fair enough. Least he helped that's something.

"Oh come on, lighten up Doctor Jekyll," he said giving Bruce a smile.

Bruce gave a shy smile, "Tony, how can you be so calm about this whole situation?"

Tony shrugged, "Eh. He's not really threating me or the world with subjugation or anything. He seems like…" Tony tilted his head to the side looking at Loki as if he was thinking about something, "a very suicidal teenager. I mean he doesn't even come out of his room," Tony tilted his head to look at the floor.

Bruce looked up to look at Tony's profile. He could see slightly hidden sadness and… "You feel guilty," he didn't mean it as a question.

"Yeah I guess I do. I mean my fault, really," he looks back through the window with sadness latent in his eyes, "I was distracted for like 10 minutes the first time and he did _that_," he grabs his own arm subconsciously and looks back to the ground in what seems like shame, "Why didn't I just watch him," Tony was pleading to himself more than anything.

"Granted you should've kept a better eye on him after he tore off flesh and muscle," he says rather calmly, "But before that you couldn't have known he was going to do something so drastic."

Tony envied Bruce's calm. I guess that what he got for living in India for so long.

Tony just sighed.

"Sorry for getting you into this. I didn't know who else to turn to," Tony said solemnly.

Bruce hummed in response, "Don't get too serious I might think there was a problem with you," Bruce said trying to lighten the mood.

Tony gave a half-hearted smile in hopes it would convey he's alright but knowing Tony it probably just looked pained.

"So how did you know there was a problem?" he was facing Tony leaning against a table.

He paused momentarily and watched Bruce from the side of his eye, "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

Bruce crossed his arms, "Try me."

Tony slumped slightly, "a little girl," Bruce looked at him incredulously, "told ya' you wouldn't believe me."

Bruce just rolled his eyes and pushed off of the table to stand next to him.

"Again kudos on keeping your anger under control," he said butting Bruce's shoulder.

Banner just shrugged, "so what happened to him?"

"Like I said before, torture. I'm guessing anyway," he turned around and lent on the glass looking at Bruce.

He narrowed his eyes at Loki in thought, "But if it was torture then it must've been really bad. It couldn't have been _just_ torture."

"Yeah well when I did the first scan on him his guts were all in fucked up places," Tony grimaced at the thought, "like he was disem- What?" Tony looked at Bruce who had gone pale and his eyes were wide. He had started to back away from the window and green was starting to creep on his features. His heart monitor watch was starting to beep.

Tony turned slowly to see what he was looking at, "Jesus, fuck!" He jumped back putting his hand over his mouth as if he was going to puke.

The scene he saw was a hundred times worse; fuck maybe even a thousand, than what he saw the first time.

Loki lay on a table with his hand and feet chained to the wall pulling him straight. Eyes closed as if he were dead. As before there was blood. Lots of blood. Everywhere. All over the walls and the floor. There was bloodied writing on all of one wall that read 'KILL ME' in jagged letters written in a bloodied hand. There was more blood this time and dripping down the legs of the table. But that wasn't the worst of it, far from it.

Loki lay on the table all red and too pale to be considered alive. A long incision that opened up to show the workings of the inside of his neck making him look like a school science experiment which ran from below what looked like his dislocated jaw to well below his navel. His rib cage looked like it had been ripped open; someone had opened him up like he was being readied to be dissected... or disembowelled… or both.

He was so dead that he'd be best friends with death. With his ribcage pointing to the sky, skin peeled back, Tony could see his lungs and heart beating, it was there for the world to see. He was still alive. Tony blanched. If the god was still alive he couldn't have been conscious. That was in humane to say the least! How in the ever loving fuck could anything like that even happen?

The Loki opened his eyes. He _was_ conscious. Tony stopped breathing as he realised Loki was staring at him. Staring at him with emotionless, distant and perpetually pained eyes. Tony stared back. Loki's facial movements were calm as if nothing was happening as if he was at peace, he hushed Tony and if his hand was free he'd have put a finger to his pale lips for emphasis.

There was a flicker of the lights again and everything was back as it was. Loki lying in the clean white room, no blood to be found. They hadn't noticed the machines connected to Loki to measure brainwaves was going crazy and eventually fizzled out.

Bruce looked on the verge of Hulking out and he rushed to the small rubbish bin and threw up. Tony stood stock still trying to blink away tears.

Bruce had sat down on the floor clutching the bin. His green complexion was starting to fade but he still looked like he was going to puke again, "What the fuck was that?" he said quietly staring at Tony who was swaying ever so slightly, "Tony!"

A single tear ran down Tony's face and he snapped from his trance and wiped it away, "I don't know," was all Tony could add because he didn't know what it was.

Loki was calm on the bed looking younger and fragile, "So you saw that too," Tony was still staring at Loki as if staring would give him answers.

"Of course I saw that!" he was in hysterics just about. Bruce took a few calming breaths and his heart rate was slowing down, the steady beep of his heart monitor slowing down to indicate the stress passing, "Wait, did you see that before then?"

Tony nodded slowly, "Something similar," he added quietly.

"Is that why you look like shit?"

Tony nodded again, "About a week ago I saw Loki covered in his own blood, clawing away at something and trying to scream. Then it disappeared like it did just then," he looked pained as he was remembering what he saw, " I haven't been able to sleep since really and I've been avoiding Loki's room."

Bruce just looked at Tony than back to staring at nothing.

"I thought I was losing my mind Bruce," fear lacing his words.

Bruce eventually got up and cautiously looked through the window. Loki was fine, he looked fine anyway. He stood up straighter and went to check on the scans.

Bruce walked over shakily, sweat starting to dry on his brow. His hands shook as he tried to work the hologram but they wouldn't work for him. He rubbed at his eyes and tried to stay calm.

His hands eventually working for him he started checking the scans of Loki's brain during the… Bruce didn't know what it was.

The video started looking like normal brain activity, normal sleep patterns then 30 seconds into it the synapses in Loki's brain shot off. Like he was dreaming but far more intense, then it instantly stopped and the video went dead.

"Well I think it's safe to say it was dream," he mused out loud, "But somehow he seems to be able to project it…" he trailed off as he realised Tony wasn't in the room.

Tony had found his way into the room Loki was occupying sitting in a chair in the corner. He was going to watch Loki. Maybe it'd stop him from hurting himself further. When and if he woke up (the 'if' scared Tony a bit) he would be Loki's bloody shadow, following him and watching him. He might've been crossing a line if he said he was Loki's protector. Maybe a watcher or something of lesser value. I doubt Loki would appreciate being seen as a damsel in need of protecting but Tony didn't care. He wanted to help and by god Loki was going to like it or not.

Tony's knee was subconsciously bouncing as he was in thought.

Bruce came into the room to do a more physical check-up of Loki to check he was breathing properly and whether he was he just asleep or something a little more sinister.

"It was a dream," Bruce said quietly pulling Tony from his reverie.

"What?" Tony mumbled as of reply.

"It was a dream, somehow he managed to project it or something," there was curiosity in his voice. He stepped a bit closer to Loki's bedside.

"I'm glad you're finding it interesting," there was slight bitterness to his words, "Maybe you'd like to run experiments."

"Tony," Bruce scolded, "Why so defensive. I was merely pointing out the fact I have never seen anyone project dreams before."

Bruce went to check on Loki. The bed he lay in looked like a normal hospital bed. Bruce pulled the sheet down and placed it just above his waist. He checked Loki for any scars but found none just like Tony. His skin was clammy and cold to the touch as Bruce went to check Loki's pulse. It was at a normal pace when almost a few seconds later it started to race but the heart monitor hooked up to him did nothing but steady normal beats. The room felt like it had dropped 10 degrees and so did Loki.

Bruce looked up from what he was doing over is glasses to see Loki awake. He looked frightened. More than frightened, he looked like he was about to cry or give or just run. Loki started shaking out of pure uncontrolled fear.

Bruce could see it in his eyes that he was utterly terrified of him. He let go of Loki's wrist and raised his hands to placate the god. Loki cowered as Bruce raised his hands. Loki's knees came to his chest and tried to shield himself from whatever onslaught of pain may come but he knew he wouldn't be able defend himself.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Bruce said slowly trying to convey peace.

Loki started rocking; he put his head on his knees and wrapped his arms around the back of his head.

"I'm sorry… so sorry. Don't hurt me, please. Don't take me back," each word was ushered between quiet pleading cries into his knees.

Tony shot up and went to Loki's side, "Hey he's only hear to help," he said quietly.

"Why do you care!" Loki shouted back. His demeanour changed back to scared mode, "Didn't mean it. Sorry," he said pleadingly into his knees again still rocking. He whispered 'sorry' like a mantra.

Bruce backed out of the room slowly knowing that any sort of stress could cause a breakdown.

"Hey look, Bruce is gone," Tony said turning to look at he's friend who was retreating, Tony just nodded his head at him.

"He'll hurt me," he said in a small voice.

"No, I don't think he will."

"His green friend will," Loki said in spite and fear.

"Hey let's stop talking about being hurt, huh?" Tony asked in as nice a voice as he could muster, "Who was the little girl, hmm?"

Loki stopped rocking, "She trusts you," he whispered.

"Well that's good… I think," he looked at him sympathetically even if Loki wasn't looking, "So who is she?"

Loki's body calmed but his head still rested on his knees, "You'll meet her when you die."

Tony paled slightly, "Well that wasn't menacing at all," he said sarcastically.

"Hela. Hel. Daughter. Governs Helheim. Hell. Place of the dead," he said disjointedly.

Tony looked at him sceptically, "So you're telling me that the Hell, the underworld, is run by a 5 year old?"

"Don't be vapid Stark, she's millennia old," Loki gave a snort. There was starting to be some more normality to Loki though he didn't know how long it'd last.

"Well why does she look like a 5 year old then?" he asked raising a questioning eyebrow.

"When you die what would you like to see; an innocent face of a child to ease you through your pain or an old hag that looks a thousand years old. Also she likes looking like a child," he added with a shrug each sentence ended with a minute twitch of his head a sign that things weren't as they seemed.

"Fair point but I've never been dead to see what it's like," he replied smugly trying to ignore the twitches.

Loki looked at him like he was stupid. His demeanour changed however to something similar to cautious and his eyes darted scanning the room. Tony readied himself for the worst he wasn't sure whether Loki would turn homicidal/suicidal again or start weeping, he himself was getting ready to put the room in lock down.

Loki leant in towards Tony as if he was about to tell a secret, "Did he tell you?" he said in a whisper still scanning the room cautiously.

Tony leant in as well, "Tell me what?" he replied in a similar whisper of a voice humouring the demented god.

"Why he did it," he said still as a whisper his head flicking to the left.

Tony looked at him curiously, "Did what?"

"Why he hurt everyone on this floating marble. He – I told you didn't I," he nodded to himself, "Yes I did but not really."

"Would God of Riddles elaborate please," he said raising a scrutinising eyebrow.

"He never wanted to hurt anyone," he said rather manically.

"What?" he furrowed his brows.

"Nope. Didn't want to hurt anyone," he said shaking his head, reminding Tony of a small child, "Uh, uh. He was made to do it, yep."

"What do you mean 'made'?"

"He said he had a purpose, no? Not his purpose, nope, made to. Torture makes people disjointed, makes them rash, makes them do things they don't want," the cheery tony made Tony shudder.

"You mean you have been tortured?" the engineer asked with growing concern.

"Yep, yep, yep," he said cheerily clapping and bouncing where he sat like a child, "So many different things and so many times," the childlike attitude to the situation made Tony feel sick.

Tony tried to keep the feeling of being sick down, "Let me just ask this before I go off and get so drunk I forget everything in the past month," he said with calm tones thinly masking the rage for whoever would do something like that, "Who did it?"

"Hmm? Oh, well before I hurt people of Midgard, it was the Chitauri; bad and not for so long. Then after when I was sent back, my people, well when I say my people I mean Thor's; that was bad and for a long time," Loki changed to something more mature and solemn his features changing to fear and pain, " I was tortured by the people I once called my own for eight hundred and twenty eight days before I found my escape. Before that, before I took my stand, before I took the throne, before I jumped into the abyss; I was tormented, beaten and brought down to feel pathetic. There was no stopping what happened, my life was devoid of love and understanding from the supposed loved ones that sheltered me but they were the ones that broke me first."

Tony bowed his head to the god in sympathy, "I'm sorry," he meant those quiet words.

"Don't!" Loki shouted, "Don't give me your pathetic sympathy, you don't know what it's like. You don't know what it's like to save the ones you loved and to have them spit in your face for being weak, you don't know what it's like to grow up thinking you're normal to find out that people laugh at you and bully you when they find out you're different, you don't know what it like to be touched like a helpless women, you don't know what it's like to be bullied and beaten so fiercely that when finished nothing is recognised of you and under leather and metal there are still scars," he started hitting his fist at his chest, "You do not know!" the tears were flowing freely with anger and pain and Tony felt like tearing the world apart while the god would rather die, "And those weren't punishments," he added quietly hugging his legs and looking like he just wants to hide and die.

Knowing what Loki had gone through put things into a grizzly perspective. Tony shouldn't have gotten out of bed today but now he wanted to punch Thor in his fucking stupid blonde face. He gritted his teeth and stood up and was about to leave in anger when he probably made the worst decision; he stayed. He went and stood by Loki's bed as he cried with his legs drawn to his chest, constantly repeating 'pathetic' in between quiet sobs to his possible different personalities/emotions into his lap.

"Loki," there was no answer, "Look at me Loki," he did nothing but start rocking again.

He started speaking again but it was too himself in a language Tony had never heard before. He started to hit his head, "GO AWAY!" he screamed to himself, "I just want them to go away," he added very quietly, almost inaudible.

Tony carefully grabbed the offending hand, "Loki look at me," Tony said way too calmly, "Look at me," he said with a little more command but the same amount of compassion was there as hard as it was for Tony to use.

Loki turned to look at him slowly. Pain was written all over his face. Tony brought his face level with Loki's. He'd felt lost and unwanted once but he wasn't even close to competing with Loki, "I know that my words mean jack shit but Loki, I want to stop this. You may have done some serious shit but from what is evidently clear you did not want this. You didn't want to hurt anyone," Loki nodded his head in agreement, tears threatening to spill again, "If it makes you feel any better I want to punch Thor in his stupid blonde fucking face with a hot poker. He looks like a character out of a bad Australian soap," Tony said trying to cheer up the god.

He got a small sad smile that made him want to cry but it was better than breaking down. He still didn't know why he cared so much. Tony never cared about anyone before. Even Pepper said he was terrible with that crap.

"Now MCR, don't go getting suicidal on me again, kay?" his words were light but the tone was worried, "I'll be keeping a watch on you and this may be a stab in the dark here but there's a 50/50 chance you won't remember this when wake you up, am I right?"

Loki looked down at his lap as if it was something of shame.

"Ey, don't be doing that again, ok. Don't worry about it I don't care whether you remember it or not," he said with a smile, "Nothing to be ashamed about. That's happened to me plenty of times but you can thank alcohol for that."

Loki seemed to ease up a bit. Tony let go of his arms carefully making sure not to hurt his already bad arm. Loki looked frozen in thought and a few moments later he nodded to Tony. He went to lay back down he positioned himself on his side facing away from the window. Tony sat back down in the chair in the far corner.

Loki started talking to himself again but there was no violence in the quiet words that Tony couldn't hear. A few moments went past and Loki tried to look at him discreetly and then went back to talking to himself. Was he talking about him behind his back… to himself? Tony just raised a surprised eyebrow.

Loki looked close to falling asleep when he beckoned Tony over with small gestures. Tony got close but he wanted him closer. Tony leant in and the god whispered something in his ear, "They're not dreams… they're memories," Loki was out after that.

Tony pulled back taking in that tidbit of information. That put a sickening realisation to what he saw and what Bruce saw. Tony's hidden rage had hit a sickening level. Now he realised what he saw was real that the blood wasn't a figment of his imagination and that all those torturous scenes were real, it made him feel empty and sick.

* * *

**A/N**: There we go how was that? I had to rewrite this ball sucking mother fucker, I mean, I wrote the vision thingy a WHOLE LOT WORSE and then thought that may be crossing a line. I'll break it down to it's basics, Loki had been scooped out but he was still alive (god, people), there was a scimitar driven through the bottom of Loki's jaw and mentions of rape bordering on necrophilia (I mean when I say that... really). NOW let me know if I should leave it out or not and if it goes in it may be WORSE, I honestly didn't know whether I would've crossed a line with that so I'll leave to you (I apologise if I have come across as mentally unstable and scarring people off). I don't want that. LET ME KNOW! I also seem to keep on finding dead ends when writing da poop, it gets there hey.

I have not seen a fic where mentioning Jekyll and Hyde when pertaining to Bruce, I put it in there because really who hasn't made that connection yet.

And I like MCR a butt load so don't shoot me. It just fitted in with reference.

In later chapters (like in all Loki centric fics) there will be Jotun and there will be horns (nobody writes horns!). I really, really like horns... and spikes. And I'm talking foot long dragon style lyre-shaped horns, I'm going all out mate. Horns make me horny (WHAT!? ok so it's late)

NOW, LET'S GO ON A THOR LYNCHING!

As always the story gets worse.

I must go and scream my love for you from the rooftops! and sleep.

YOU ARE MAH LURVE! (It's 2 am when I write these A/N)

SORRY FOR HURTING LOKI MORE. I just want to hug him.


	11. First Punishment

**I own nothing. NOTHING. Except you know, the fucked up stuff.**

**A/N**: Hi again. I realised that I probably scared the crap out of people, maybe I should change the genre to 'Horror'. If you think you're disturbed for reading this, remember I'm the one writing it, this is coming from my head this means I am by default "screwed up", eh. So enjoy screwed up word vomit. OH and I'm glad none of you took offence to the MCR emo stuff.

I really love you guys though. I love your reviews and makes me happy whenever I wake up and I really do love it when I have some fellows from my own country enjoying the story (MUCH LOVE TO AMERICANS AND ANYWHERE ELSE) xoxoxoxox I'll leave you to it, MWAHAHAHA.

The entire Thor OST gave me serious feels, therefore this chapter. SOOOOOOOOOO SAAAADDDDDD. _Odin Confesses _MY GOD that made me cry. AnyThor I'll let you read.

**WARNINGS**: MOAR BLURD!, Asgard which means *the title*, SAD times.

**Chapter 11: First Punishment**

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The tesseract brought Loki and Thor to the edge of the city. The city of gold. The city of Asgard. It's shiny spires reaching to the heavens.

They'd landed just before the Bifrost, it was still under repair. Loki hadn't seen the obnoxious city since his fall into the abyss. He did, deep down, miss it. He wouldn't acknowledge it, he wouldn't.

He didn't know what was in store for him. He didn't know whether his punishment was death or an eternity in the hollowed out caves they called prisons. Loki didn't wish for death neither imprisonment but from what he'd grown up with, Odin wasn't kind in his punishments.

Thor nudged Loki forward and Loki let go of the tesseract. He gave the best scowl he could muster up while being gagged and bound. Loki followed though staying next to Thor as they tortuously made their way to the halls of Odin.

As they made their way towards the citadel the people of Asgard had already heard of the golden Thor returning with the disgraced black sheep, Loki. Loki kept steely eyes towards their destination as crowds started to form along the golden paths. Parents hiding their children as the evil prince went past, men looking ready for battle, women talking among themselves looking more and more repulsed by the disgraced prince. If only they knew of his true parentage, then they'd be throwing more than dirty looks.

There was no fear in the eyes of these people only hatred and disgust as people turned their backs. For the first time since walking to his demise his eyes drifted to the ground. Deep down he didn't want people to fear him, he certainly didn't want people to be disgusted by him. All he wanted to do was prove to anyone that was watching that he could accomplish something so great. Even if the Chitauri had forced his hand he would've offered Midgard as a gift to Odin to show him that his adopted son could be greater than the golden child Thor; Loki wasn't even silver, he was a dull metal that had no value in the great halls of Asgard.

Thor had brought him to the giant doors to the throne room. The guards stood tall and inside there was the sounds of talking. Thor left with a slight look to Loki and a shake of his head, left him with the guards to be taken to Odin. He wanted Thor to stay so that he could feel the guilt of Loki's punishment but he left not looking back. Was Loki really that much of lost cause, was Thor, the brother that loved too much, really that ashamed of him. He screamed in his head for Thor to turn around and give him a reassuring look but all that he saw was the stupid red cape as it rounded the corner.

Not even Thor could love unconditionally as he once said he did. Loki didn't try to let it affect him but he could feel tears begin to form. He put on his mask of indifference once more and cut off the rampant emotions. He straightened ready for what was to come.

Even bound and gagged he kept the posture of a prince as he was escorted into the hall. He would not let the powerful Odin affect him so. The throne hall was littered with people about to watch the judgement of the disgraced prince of Asgard but should really be marked down as the prince of Jotunheim.

Loki still stood tall as he had reached his spot before the throne to be given his sentence. He stood in the middle of the large room. People stood away by the walls to gawk.

The guard took of the gag, Loki worked his jaw slowly trying not to show the relief he felt as it came off. The guard took of the chains as well; Loki did his best not to rub at his wrists. He thought maybe his punishment may not be so bad if his bonds were being broken.

Odin hit Gungnir to the floor and the commotion in the hall instantly stopped, "Loki son of Laufey!" he boomed, not even bothering with calling him Odinson, "You have been tried for the crimes against the people you once called your own, the creatures that hold who you truly are and the people of a peaceful realm," his voice was still showing authority, "You are unworthy of these realms, you're unworthy of your title, you're unworthy... of the loved ones you have betrayed!" That sounds familiar and yet it still hurt because Loki knew he meant it.

Loki still stood tall his mask of indifference still not wavering.

"You will be punished until I see fit to stop," the judgement was ominous.

Odin nodded to one of the guards, "Strip him," he said curtly.

Loki tried not to let the fear show and still stared at Odin.

As each bit of leather armour was taken off, Odin spoke again, "You will be made an example of in front of the people you betrayed."

Loki went pale but stood his ground knowing that anything he said would not be heard.

Loki was eventually stripped down to nothing in the great hall. He was to be embarrassed beyond anything he'd had done before. His eyes hurt as he tried to hold back tears. His jaw was set as he tried to ignore the gawking eyes.

His eyes drifted to Odin's right where he saw his mother, once mother, looking as if she were about to cry. They softened at her beautiful visage and his eyes went to floor trying look away from Frigga's sad gaze. He never wanted to hurt the only person that loved him. He looked back to Odin and straightened his posture. He would not let his pride be tarnished any more than what it was.

Odin gave another nod. Loki swallowed a lump in his throat. He heard the sound of an unfurling whip hitting the golden floor. He clenched his fist until his knuckles went white and his body tensed.

Odin nodded once more.

Loki knew the hit was going to happen but pain still shot through his system. His muscles tensed and there was a minute flinch in his face but he kept his ground keeping his steely green eyes fixed on Odin.

The crack of the whip could be heard again. Loki flinched and a small whimper escaped his lips, though he still stood tall.

Eventually he lost count of how many times the whip hit his naked back. He could feel the blood running down his back. He still stared at his adoptive father who now sought to punish the brash prince. His eyes shone with tears that he could barely contain.

The crowds still stood and watched and Frigga was on the verge of stopping this madness.

Another hit came and his legs nearly buckled, his face contorted but he still stood. His jaw was set in stone and his knuckles were white. He'd long since gone paler from the loss of blood. He tried not to cry, tried not to show himself weak, but he knew there were a few tears running down his cheek.

Odin looked on still impassive and yet he still conveyed his disdain towards Loki.

Another hit and Loki's breathing started to become ragged. Each hit now hitting only muscle and nerves.

Another crack of the whip. Loki's posture faulted and he fell to one knee with a scream.

"Odin, stop this please!" Frigga pleaded. Her tears running freely not wanting to see her son tortured so.

Loki stood back up on shaky limbs. The strikes came faster and he eventually fell to the ground screaming landing on his hands and knees, his face eventually turning down to face the ground. The hits kept coming each resulting in a scream and a violent contortion of his face in pain. He could hear Frigga yelling out for Odin to stop but his own screams drowned out her pleas.

He was eventually lying on the floor. The searing pain still evident. The lashings still coming. Each sending more pain through his system. His tears blended in with the blood that painted the golden floors.

He tried to get up but each strike forced him back down. He lay pale and bleeding and no more screams escaped his mouth only whimpers of pain.

Odin raised his hand and the punisher stopped his attack on Loki's back, the last crack of the whip still echoing against the halls and everyone went silent.

Once the onslaught had finished the pain was too much and Loki's consciousness faded. He's back was all but ruin, some cuts deep enough to hit bone. The floor around him was crimson. If it weren't for the erratic breathing he'd look dead.

The king waved his hand again and two guards picked Loki's lifeless body up. His head hang slack facing the ground as the guards placed his arms over their shoulders ready to drag him out.

To the surprise of the hall's occupants, Odin descended from his throne Gungnir in hand, his heavy footsteps echoing in the hushed silence. The small journey stopped in front of the god. Odin looked down at his adopted son in carefully hidden disgust. He hit the spear into the ground causing it to stay upright.

He grabbed Loki's hair tightly and pulled his pliant face up. With his other hand Odin slapped Loki's face with such ferocity that the crowd surrounding cringed at the noise and he woke slightly.

Odin grabbed Loki's jaw and dug his fingers into the pale skin as he pulled the face up to look at him. Loki cringed at the pain in his back and the vice like grip on his jaw. There was so much pain in the god of mischief's face, he tried to blink away tears but all that did was help them onto the now cut cheek bone.

He wanted to plead and scream and ask for forgiveness but his voice wouldn't find its way, it wouldn't help him. He was lost without his words. He tried to plead with his eyes, eyebrows raised in confusion as to why his punishment was so unfair, why he'd shown so much hatred towards the lonely, lost and forgotten son.

Odin narrowed his eye and spat in Loki's face, "You are a disgrace to Asgard," he said with his imposing voice dripping with disdain.

Odin stepped back and grabbed his spear and with another of his hand gestures the guards were dragging him off. The king spun on his heels and went to sit atop his throne once more.

Loki's feet dragged along behind him which left a trail of blood as he was taken to a cell like a lowly criminal.

He was thrown into a common cell. The smell of mould and piss assaulting his nose but eventually the pain took over again and he slipped out of consciousness once more. His final thought though was what could be worse than this, where was this so called love that Odin promised. Nobody would come for him, no one would save him and no one would love him.

xOx

Night had come to Asgard and Thor lay in his chambers trying to find sleep but guilt hindered that, his day was tiring and his thoughts went back to Loki. He didn't know what was happening to his brother. He dearly wanted to help him but his duty was to his king, to his father.

Everything was peaceful until he heard faint screams echoing through the castle walls, screams filled with pain, screams filled with anguish, screams filled with hopelessness. He jolted upright.

One of the prisoners must've been being whipped but somehow the screams made Thor shudder.

The thundering god was unaware of the fact that the screams and pleads and cries of help, were coming from the slowly breaking god of mischief, the god that pleaded for the end.

* * *

**MOAR OF THE THINGY WITH THE WORDS**: NAAAAAAAA LOOOKIIIIIII. Well how was that lovely people. Not too bad to the last one. I will not tell you how this story ends but I let you know I'm thinking of a sequel *feeling very Moffat-y atm* MWHAHAHAHAHA

Odin is the douchiest mother fucker in all the Nine Realms I HATE YOU ODIN, lets punch him, (no parenting awards for you, no) but I love Anthony Hopkins, yes I do you sexy beast.

Oh look Thor and his complete lack of awareness (you stupid labrador)

**YOU STILL HAVE THE FINAL SAY! Work in the descriptive disembowelment or leave it out and write it as a possible pre and post-op! **So far a lot want the nasty, so if you don't you still have time to vote I guess you could call it. Also when and if the guts stuff come I plaster warnings EVERYWHERE so you might want to avoid the chapter.

(Oh look slightly more mental stability to the A/N)

As always, stay awesome, I love you and I'll see ya'll next time. LOVE.

*flies away*

p.s. I'm thinking of writing a completely different (humorous) fic for shits and giggles (but don't hold me to it) involving drunk shenanigans and some Loki x Everyone (even himself and even himself as a chick and even himself as chick WITH himself as a chick (wow that's a lot... confusing)) so basically Loki being a whore, mostly for Tony though... I think that's all. Ok bye now. *waves*


	12. Unsuspecting Skills

**Again I wish I owned this but I don't.**

**A/N**: Sorry this update took for flipping ages. I know I know you don't really care anyway so more story. This whole story is cuddly and fluffy ain't it. Lets all hug Loki. *Hugs Loki* Mmmmm smell like peppermint. Moar of my brain has up chucked up in here. I got to a roll with the end part. Starting off at a road block ending up on an empty free-way WOOO. This ones a doozy. I am going to hell for writing this stuff. SKULL PARTY... ANYTHOR, musical influence for this here chappy iiiisssssss... 1940's jazz music, awww yeah giggity.

Go read. Now. I love you. LOVE. Have some sad Loki cake. Gobble it all up. LOVE.

**WARNINGS:** Mentions of blood, mad skillz brah, mentions of infanticide/neonaticide and rape, SHAMEEEE

**Chapter 12: Unsuspecting Skills**

* * *

Tony woke up in the chair that sat in Loki's medical room with a start. He instinctively clutched his reactor. The dream brought Tony back to the Middle East but soon the images left his mind. All that was left was a sweating brow and heavy breathing and the image of a saviour. As real as it felt it was far too surreal.

While most of his dreams that came from the memories of being a prisoner, this one was wholly different. There was a saviour, an unexpected saviour in his dream. A creature with pale skin and midnight hair, with jade coloured eyes and sharp features. A creature that lay in the bed in front of him. Tony might even to go so far as to say that the not so human being in his dream was beautiful.

He mentally slapped himself for saying that even if it were true. He took a look at Loki who still slept soundly. His vitals showed a more coma like state. The silence in the room was suffocating.

Tony stood up looking down at Loki. His eyes were moving rapidly under closed lids. A few strands of inky black hair had found their way on to his pale face while the rest splayed out looking like a black halo. Tony went to brush the strands of hair out of his face. Loki shot up and his green eyes did the same and a pale hand grabbed a hold of Tony's wrist in a vice like grip just as he was about to touch Loki's hair. Extreme cold emanated from his hand making Tony's wrist go white.

Loki pulled his hand to him until they were both eye to eye and very close. Loki's grip tightened, "What were you doing?" he asked in a low growl.

The hold tightened and Tony grimaced in pain, "I was checking your temperature," he replied through gritted teeth.

A look of realisation dawned on Loki's features and let go of Tony's wrist.

"The fuck was that?" he asked rubbing at his wrist, "Ow," he mumbled.

Loki looked down at his hands that lay in his lap now, "Apologies," he mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Defence," he supplied quietly.

"To what?" Tony asked confused.

"The act of someone attempting to touch me whilst I sleep causes my body to react violently," he said quietly and hunched over looking like a sad child.

"Geez Loki," Tony said running his hand through his hair. Loki looked genuinely sorry, not looking at Tony, "Maybe one day you can tell me why but now you're coming with me."

Loki looked up confusion and shock written on his face. Tony beckoned him to get out of bed.

"You seem fine now, come on."

Loki pulled his legs out. He was in a different pair of sweat pants and horror dawned on his face, what have they seen. Tony noticed Loki's distress when he looked down.

"Don't worry. Didn't look," Tony said putting his hand on his chest, though he didn't actually do anything. That reminded him, where was Bruce? "We do know about your situation though. Won't tell a soul."

Loki went pale, which was quite a feat for Loki.

"Don't worry Loki. I don't care and neither does Bruce. Just curious is all," he gave a reassuring smile.

Loki still looked as though he wanted to crawl away and hide.

"Don't worry. Now, are you coming or do I have to grab you and I really don't want to be hurt again."

Tony started walking out of the room with Loki now following behind cautiously. They were in the hallway. Loki was looking around like a scared animal. Tony rolled his eyes and turned on his heels to face him. Loki stood up straight when Tony saw him, posture going perfectly regal.

"What?" Loki asked looking down at him. Damn he was tall. He was nearly a head taller than him. He got a good look at his neck though and could see Loki's rapid heartbeat.

"No need to be scared here, ok? Ok. Nobody, especially I, don't want to hurt you," he said slightly exasperated.

That made the god ease slightly.

"Tony?"

Tony turned to find Bruce. Loki clutched onto his bicep and hid behind as if Tony would protect him.

"Mm?" Tony sounded slightly frustrated.

"Be careful ok?" Banner warned.

Tony just rolled his eyes, "Yes mother. Geez you're gonna need to get some pointers from Pepper."

Tony just walked passed Bruce with Loki clutching on to his arm trying to hide from Banner. They eventually rounded the corner and Bruce went back into the medical lab.

"You can let go of my arm now," Tony said quietly still walking down the hall.

Loki just shook his head. Tony felt a burst of warmth at the fact that Loki had found Tony safe and chuckled inwardly.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Loki said quietly almost a whisper. The voice was sad and small.

"I'd like to hope so," he replied with a smile.

xOx

Tony showed Loki around the tower properly. He'd eventually let go of Tony's arm and was quite fascinated by the whole place even if his features were slightly impassive. He showed him the rec floor; it had a gym, a pool, an indoor archery field (Barton's idea), shooting range and an empty room for anything really. Tony didn't much care for it and just skimmed through the floor. Loki on the other hand was interested.

The floor wasn't quite finished with steel rafters still showing. That was the case for some parts of the building.

"May I use this floor as I please," a quiet voice came from behind Tony.

"My god it speaks," he laughed, "And yes you," Tony gave a small smile.

Tony was going to keep surveillance to a maximum with this one. Loki just nodded.

"You realise that I'll have Jarvis be keeping an artificial eye on you, all the time," Tony turned to see Loki. He looked down at Loki's injured arm (Loki choose not to where a shirt so it made it easier to look at it), it was healing unnaturally fast and all that was left really was a vicious looking red scar, "We don't want that to happen again," he pointed to his arm.

Loki looked down at his arm inspecting it and nodded, "Midgardian instruments cause different injuries," he raised his arm up to get a better look.

"What do you mean?"

"I get injured but my magic and body aren't all that affected by mortal tools. I heal and rapidly," he said with a bored expression.

Tony looked as though he was thinking it over, "But how come it got worse?" he asked narrowing his eyes.

"When my mind is unstable, so is my magic. The healing is affected by my mind and magic."

Tony gave a look of understanding but was still a little confused.

Tony gave Loki a once over. He was looking more confident now, standing taller surveying the room. He'd opted for not wearing a shirt and despite Tony's efforts he couldn't help but admire it slightly. He was skinny but toned. His long hair fell over his shoulders and it was really long, it fell past his shoulder blade and chest. His eyes, no matter how well Loki's posture was, were sad, scared and old. By the looks of him he looked more like the older brother of Thor.

"Come on lets go," Tony gestured with his head to leave.

Tony started to walk out but Loki just stood looking around. He paused for a moment when he noticed Loki not following behind him. He turned around to see Loki's back.

Tony gave a sigh and rolled his eyes, "Do you wanna stay here a while?"

Loki's head dropped slightly and he turned it slightly looking over his shoulder and then looked at Tony as if asking if he could.

"Go for your life. Just, just don't hurt yourself."

Loki gave a small nod before he vanished in a green smoke which looked more like colouring in water. Tony jumped and looked around the room until he saw shiny eyes in the shadows of the steel rafters and he heard fingernails tapping the steel.

"You are a bloody cat!" Tony called up to the rafters.

Tony could see the disjointed smile in the shadows and as if on cue a black cat ran along the rafters and sat in the open up in the ceiling. Tony's jaw dropped slightly and he looked around the area to see if he could see anything else suspicious or freaky.

"Dude!" he said in awe and confusion, "Is that you?"

He looked at the cat as if he might be crazy and cat looked straight back. It looked confused for a moment putting its head to one side, green eyes looking over Tony. A manic smile spread across the cat's features and it stood up and strode back across the girder. A deep chuckle echoed through the empty room and the cat slowly morphed into Loki. Tony was in awe. Loki gracefully walked with his hands behind his back across the beam as if it were solid ground.

Tony's mouth was wide open and he didn't care, "Um," he offered helpfully, "That was… amazing," he added quietly.

Loki sat on the bar legs hanging over the side, "Oh, I know," he said rather smugly then gave another mischievous, slightly creepy, smile and vanished again.

Tony blinked a couple of times, "Well with that new revelation, I'm going to leave you to it."

He started for the door casually, "You know, you and Nightcrawler should have creepy parties," he offered to the room over his shoulder.

"Jarvis keep an eye on Loki and if anything and I mean _anything_ happens, let me know. _Immediately_," Tony said once he was in the elevator.

"Yes, sir."

Tony had gotten back down to the lab part of the tower where Bruce was still busy working. Bruce was looking confused as he was looking over Loki's scans.

"What's up Brucie?" Tony asked walking in.

"Um, I don't- have a look at this," he said pointing at the holographic diagram of Loki.

"What now?" he asked a little worried and annoyed.

Bruce scratched the back of his head and crossed his arms.

Tony went and studied the diagram that had stats and chemical levels floating by the side.

"Bruce, I may have a few PHDs but they aren't in medicine. Give an engineer a break," he said after a moment of trying to figure out what Bruce was on about.

"Look here," he said pointing to the chemical compounds, "Those chemicals are usually only there after pregnancy."

Tony blinked for a moment, "What?"

"It shows that Loki's been pregnant in the last month or so. Two at the most," Banner said studying the diagram then Tony.

"That's crazy," he said still slightly confused, "I have a feeling that that's a sore topic," he mumbled.

"Where is he?" Bruce asked looking a little concerned.

"Rec floor."

Bruce just nodded, "I really hope you're keeping an eye on him."

Just then Jarvis chimed in, "It seems sir that Loki has managed to acquire a weapon."

"Sonofabitch," Tony said as he quickly made his way to the elevator, "Can you tell me what sort of weapon?"

"Negative. There seems to be significant interference, sir."

"Crap."

Tony got to the rec room and peered through the door. He really didn't want to be attacked by a half mad Norse god, so he took caution.

What he saw was the furthest thing from his mind. Loki was blindfolded in the centre of the spacious room. He held out a sword that looked like a katana in both hands. It looked as though Loki was dancing but with a sword. Each strike of the air was graceful and poised. The strikes were silent and Loki was using his other senses to guide them. Tony stepped into the room quietly, watching the silent attack of the air. The movements were as fast as a snake but as graceful as a panther. Tony could only guess what Loki was imagining, a silent battle that Loki would be winning. His hair flung around as he spun around with the dynamic weapon. Tony had gotten close enough to hear the strikes through the air. Loki's muscles were taught and Tony was intrigued at the visual of watching the muscles flex and move with each silent attack.

The Norse god (who looked more like a Japanese samurai) lunged forward hitting an invisible foe and then spinning 180 degrees to strike the other side. He sliced diagonally up and took it across horizontally. His moves were so fast that Tony could only see a blur of pale skin and glinting metal.

Loki quickly spun around again and before he knew it a very sharp sword was less than an inch away from his eye. He had the sword out stretched in one arm while his body was side on to Tony.

Tony could see the fine details of the sword. It was as he thought a katana. There was green and black silk weaving its way into a pattern on the hilt of the sword. The base of the blade had the engraving of a snake in the style of Norse runes going up half way. The whole thing let of a faint green aura.

Loki's head was straight with his body and Tony got a good view of his profile. He turned his head slowly, the blind fold still on. It was if he could see through it and was looking at Tony.

"What?" he asked shortly.

"Let me just say, before you gouge out my eye with a samurai sword, that that was amazing," Tony said in awe and slight fear. He swallowed a lump in his throat as he looked down the blade of the impossibly sharp weapon.

Tony stepped back a bit.

With a wave of Loki's hand the sword and blindfold de-materialised. Tony looked even more intrigued.

"Where does that even go?"

"An inter dimensional pocket between time and space," he replied as if it were general knowledge.

Tony looked wide eyed, "That explains everything," he said sarcastically.

Loki sat crossed legged in the middle of floor in the lotus position, palms up on his knees and his eyes closed. Tony sat a few feet in front of him sitting normally.

"So… that was awesome," he said casually.

"Such a way with words," Loki said in hushed tones.

"So why doesn't Mr Thunder do stuff like that?"

Loki flinched minutely at that, "Thor lacks control, discipline and agility. The Aesir aren't rather fond of the east and their ideas of control and the ability to be swift."

"I see that. Point Break likes to swing," Tony shrugged.

"Thor comes from a race of brutish people that need power. No control. No agility," he said calmly, "I found solace in swift movements and magic. The Aesir use two handed long swords and war hammers and axes. I use stealth, silence, magic and reflexes."

"So what other weapons do you fancy if any?" Tony was rather intrigued in how Loki worked differently to his brother (?).

"Knives and sceptres or spears."

"Knives, huh?" he asked more to himself.

A sharp looking dagger that was rather small materialised in Loki's open palm. It was vicious looking. In a lighting speed movement Loki had flung it across the room behind Tony. He felt the rush of air as it went past and clutched at his ear.

"What the hell," he checked to see if there was any blood, there was none luckily.

"I never miss my mark," it looked as though Loki had never moved, his eyes were still closed.

"You missed _me!_" he said checking for blood again.

"I wasn't aiming for you."

Tony turned around to see the dagger embedded into the wall and looked back to Loki. Tony got up to get the knife out of the wall. The dagger had just gone in and hit a fly right in its centre, he looked back at Loki in disbelief.

"That's pretty cool."

He pulled the knife out of the wall and inspected it as he went to sit back down. It was all angular and sharp edges with three prongs. The middle was the longest with two shorter ones on each side pointing to the middle. It was incredibly light weight. Tony tapped his index finger to the middle prong, instantly it started to bleed.

"Ow," he said down to his hand.

"Careful. It's sharp," Loki said with a smirk.

Tony just rolled his eyes and put the blade back in Loki's upturned palm where disappeared.

"That's freaky."

"That's magic."

There was a comfortable silence and Tony thought (stupidly) to bring up certain test results.

"So… um. Bruce did some tests from your diagram," Tony started nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

Loki hummed noncommittally.

"Well it said you were pregnant recently," now that was out in the open Tony felt better but Loki probably felt like dying.

"I can't remember when," Loki said easily but Tony could see he was tense.

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened?" Tony asked, trying to be as careful as possible.

"It's dead," was what Loki offered sharply. He still sat poised with his eyes closed.

Tony felt bad now, "I guess stuff like that happens," he did not know how to comfort anyone especially someone that can have children.

"It was killed," Loki said quietly, "I was gutted and it came out," his voice was rising in anger but he kept it down.

Tony paled and the evening was going so nicely. He stared at Loki with wide eyes who still sat there looking as if nothing was happening, "I'm sorry," was all Tony could add and somehow he knew it may get worse.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. You couldn't have been there to prevent a vicious rape," Loki's voice was bland and impassive and it made Tony want to punch something, "It wasn't the first time Stark. You shouldn't blame yourself. I guess that's part of my just punishment. I'll thank your rag tag team for bringing me in."

Tony lowered his head into his hands. He had no clue any of this could've happened.

"Do you feel shame Tony Stark? For what you allowed, do you feel shame?" he asked accusingly, "Knowing that as part of my unofficial punishment, I was raped on a nearly daily basis."

Loki had opened his eyes now and was staring at the top of Tony's head as it rested in his hands, "Look at me. Look at me!" Tony raised his head and stared at Loki's sad, hurt and tired eyes, "Do you feel it? Feel that burn," he drawled, "Knowing that on more than one occasion that I have brought into the Nine Realms, children sired by the swine of Asgard, guards to the king. Touching, groping, ripping, tearing, and taking. Each bastard son or daughter of mine stomped on the ground dead or ripped out as a barely living entity and I made to watch," Loki was getting closer into Tony's personal space at each burst of anger.

"Do you feel shame? Knowing that in my head I relive each and every single day of that so called punishment, that I basically stand there and watch myself as I'm chained up and raped against the floor, against the wall and even in my own vomit and the blood of dead children," Loki was staring down Tony with such fierce anger and pain that he felt true and utter fear, "Do you feel it?" Loki was crying now and Tony was a little more than on the verge, "DO YOU FEEL IT!" Loki all but screamed, weeping.

"Yes," Tony said quietly, "Yes, a hundred million times yes!" Tony more or less pleaded.

Loki fell forward onto Tony crying, soaking the front of his shirt. Tony started crying too and ran his fingers through Loki's hair trying to lull him. He rested his head on top of Loki and hugged the shaking form as he held onto Tony for dear life. He continued to stroke his hair.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry," Tony tried to plead. He continued to rock the crying god, whispering sorry into the soft black hair.


	13. Water's Edge

**Own nothing. Which hurts on the inside.**

**A/N**: So, sad news. One of my cats died last night. Got hit by a car. Lived for a couple of hours after that apparently and another one of my kittens has cancer on her ear with a low chance of survival. Sad me is. If updates are random and like a week apart it's because I live in 3 different households each about 100 km away from each other and only one with a computer I can use freely. BUT HERE IT IS. This one is sad but sad cake is tasty, like ice cream when you're crying, no? For some that may be asking, nope, Loki is not preggers.

**P.S**. For the people that I haven't had the chance to reply to reviews and that, I love you, yes and please refer to the below list of the people I love because they continue to review constantly and have reviewed more than once.

**fan girl 666**  
**Ordis**  
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If I have forgotten you I apologise and may fix it later.  
People that are stalking me and my stories, you know who you are, know that I love you! LOVE. LURV. yep. Plus any new stalkers I hope you don't disappoint *wink*  
Lots of Loki love from me!

The last chapter I felt evil *insert evil laugh* Ahhh but that's what makes the story, right? Sad Loki. This chapter might end on a happy note who knows.

**WARNINGS**: Sadness that's it I think

**Chapter 13: Water's Edge**

* * *

It had been at least an hour since Loki lost his cool and Tony did too. He knew what it felt like to remember, to remember the past.

He remembers once he was in a meeting a few months after his capture, something that likes to sneak up on him now and then. He acted cool in the board meeting but he wasn't paying attention. Pepper sat across from him and watched him intently. He was sweating slightly, his breathing had become heavier and his eyes darted around the room. Nobody else saw the signs except Pepper.

She cut the meeting short saying Tony had to be elsewhere. He left quickly and started hyperventilating around the corner. Pepper had seen him at his worst, screaming in his sleep the first weeks back. Poor Pepper, Tony was surprised she hadn't turned grey yet.

He had someone but Loki didn't, not until now. Torture was torture no matter who had the worst but Loki certainly did and he was slowly pulling down Loki's walls. For some unseeable reason Tony wanted to help. He knew what it felt like and no one should ever feel like that, tortured in their own head because of memories.

Tony was growing attached to the god. His brain was having a fight against that feeling, one side screaming run while the other was urging him to console the god.

Tony looked down at Loki only seeing the mess of black hair. He wasn't moving but he was breathing. Loki had gone limp in his arms as he sat with him. For some strange reason Tony felt the urge to smell the soft hair and he did. Loki smelt of sage, mint and ozone. Tony thought him asleep but he moved him slightly making his head lull back revealing his eyes were open.

What, Tony thought because that was slightly concerning. He looked dead to be quite frank, he was limp but breathing.

He brushed Loki's hair out of his face and checked his pulse. Still beating but slightly elevated. What's with the guy, he'd gone catatonic. Tony was nearly panicking.

"Come on stop playing possum," Tony shook Loki slightly making his head roll to the side again, "Crap."

Tony picked Loki up, arms under his legs and behind his shoulders. Loki's arms fell to the side and his head hung over Tony's arm as he took him to be checked out by Bruce. Loki looked dead in Tony's arms and when he looked down he thought the same.

Tony rushed to get back to the medical bay where Bruce was. Tony was in the elevator and looked down at Loki limp in his arms, his green eyes still staring into nothing. It sent a cold shiver down Tony's spine.

"Bruce!" Tony called as he got out of the elevator, "Bruce!"

Tony rushed down the hallway. Bruce finally peeked his head around the door.

"What is-," Bruce's eyes went wide," What did you do?" he rushed to Tony's side as he walked into the med bay.

"I didn't do anything," he replied worriedly, "At least I didn't mean to."

Bruce cleared a table pushing everything to the ground.

"Quick put him on the table."

He gently place Loki, his head rolling to the side on the table. Tony squatted down to look into his eyes. There was nothing in them, no sign of emotion.

"Is he dead?" Tony asked still staring into his eyes.

Bruce checked his pulse and breathing, "No. You look like shit, what happened?" he asked checking other vitals.

Tony looked up to Bruce from where he was squatting and stood up, "We talked really and then it went into darker subjects," he crossed his arms.

Bruce furrowed his brows, "What do you mean 'darker subjects'?"

Tony scratched the back of his head nervously, "Well, he kind of had a breakdown as he told me what happened to him, or at least part of what happened," he said gravely.

"What happened?" Bruce had started checking Loki again and looked at Tony above his glasses.

"He was raped and from a very obvious statement it sounded like just about every day," Tony rubbed at his face.

Bruce froze and stopped what he was doing.

"That's how he got pregnant and it was killed and that happened more than once," Tony's voice was quiet, "So you can kind of see why I look like shit."

Tony turned and went to get something with a high alcohol content. He always kept a bottle of something basically everywhere; the med lab was no different. He picked up a bottle of scotch and drank from the bottle. He turned and nearly choked on the drink, Loki was still staring at him basically.

"Oh Christ, I don't think I'd be able to get used to that," he pointed to Loki.

Bruce looked confused, "I don't see anything wrong with him apart from the comatose state," he took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes, "It might be best if you take him back to his room."

Tony put the bottle down, the glass clinking on the metal, "Yeah sure," he walked over to Loki's side, "I think I'll stay with him from now on," he said staring at Loki and then realised he was doing it.

"Good idea."

Tony looked at Bruce, "I'll carry him. It'd be easier than wheeling him somewhere."

Bruce looked worried, "Tony, don't let this get to you too much."

Tony looked affronted, "How can I not. I've seen things I shouldn't have. I've seen a god, a god Bruce, broken so badly that he can't even speak coherently," Tony wasn't angry, he was confused and sad, "I want to fix this but I don't think I can. I feel this is somehow my fault," sorrow was etching his words.

"Tony, none of this is your fault."

"It is. We had an ultimatum, you remember. Send him to Asgard or keep him here. We chose Asgard because we couldn't be fucked Bruce. We chose convenience and now look," Tony pointed to Loki angrily, "This is what careless thought has gotten us. Even an institution would have a hard time with this," his voice was steadily rising with anger.

Bruce looked shamed and saddened. He nodded his understanding.

"I'm going to take Loki to his room and get drunk," Tony said quietly as he lifted Loki up.

Without further words to each other Tony left for Loki's room. It was still astounding at how light Loki was. Nobody should be that light.

xOx

"I forgot you did that," Tony said as he realised Loki had almost demolished the room. The furniture was pushed to the sides and the sofa was torn to shreds. The bed was intact but laying against the wall on its side. Everything had been moved away to leave as much space in the middle of the room as possible.

With Loki still in his arms he managed to bump the bed back to how it was supposed to be. He placed him on the bed gingerly like a small child. He was like a different person more than an hour ago.

Loki lay on his back, head slightly to the left facing the large window. He hadn't even blinked. Tony knelt down beside Loki off the bed and carded his fingers through the soft black hair. He looked into Loki's eyes and there was still nothing in them.

"I'm sorry," Tony said looking all over Loki's face for any sign of a reaction, "I didn't want this," Tony lowered his head, "I only wanted to protect people and in the end I failed at that. I think I did a better job at hurting people and I don't even know if you can hear me."

Tony stood up and walked over to the window and looked out at New York. It was a sunny afternoon that laughed in his face. The sun was glistening on the glass monoliths.

He turned to look back at Loki, "Christ," Tony jumped.

Loki had sat up where he was in the middle of the bed legs crossed and yet he was still staring, now at the wall in front of the bed.

"What is up with you?" Tony furrowed his brow but he didn't expect Loki to answer.

"He's asleep," Loki said his voice devoid of emotion and his face was the same.

"What?" he asked incredulously.

"Loki, he's asleep," he replied in the same voice.

"Um, wait. Ok. Well the problem there is that you, Loki, seem very much awake at the moment," Tony started walking over to the bed cautiously.

"He's dreaming. He does this now and then," he said.

"Does what exactly?" Tony asked. Loki was still unmoving.

"He escapes. When things become overwhelming, when memories come rushing back, when the pain is too great. He escapes into a dream, a fantasy he has created where the world around him is peaceful, where he doesn't remember what he's done or what has been done _to_ him. We leave him notes so he knows to return," he still stared into the distance.

"Then what are you?" Tony asked edging closer to the bed.

"Nothing. No emotion and the inability to feel pain."

"So you're his auto-pilot?" the situation was intriguing yet never had he seen a defence mechanism like this.

"Yes."

Tony sat on the bed next to Loki facing him.

"You're in it."

"In what?" Tony asked.

"The dream he's created. Even he doesn't know why."

Well that was interesting to say the least.

"What else is in his dream thing?" he asked curiously.

"He's younger, maybe a few Midgardian years. Thor hadn't over shadowed him and was a true brother. Odin praised him. He belonged in Asgard and was born Aesir. Odin didn't beat him when he didn't excel. Nobody called him sedir or ergi but praised his magic. He was treated like the prince he was and nobody hurt him," he was still emotionless as he listed of what was in his mind.

Tony felt sad at the fact that all that could've happened. He wondered how nobody thought that was what caused him to destroy the things he loved.

"And then there's you," he added, "An unusual thing that has become a new addition to his fantasy. The only person that has shown him kindness and compassion, you brought him in and he is thankful. He's sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"For everything. He's sorry for hurting the people of this realm, he's sorry for becoming an unwanted guest and his sorry for causing so much trouble and being unwanted. He is used to that feeling."

Tony's eyes went wide, "No, he has no need to be sorry for anything and I don't give a shit whether I'm tried for war crimes for what I'm doing and I actually have been tried for that. I want this fixed," he said defiantly, "In some way I helped cause this. I keep on saying you shouldn't be afraid here. Do you listen? No."

Tony lay down next to the god on the bed.

"You tell Loki in his fantasy world that I am right here," Tony emphasised it by point at where he laying, "Not going anywhere because I'm stubborn," he said with smile even if it was sad.

Tony grabbed Loki's hand and gave it a small squeeze.

"Not going anywhere."

The hand in his slowly gripped on. Tony took that as a good sign that whatever he was saying was getting through. Loki lay down next to him still holding his hand but still staring into nothing.

xOx

Loki ran through a forest looking as though he was fearing for his life. His hands were bound in front of him as he ran, jumping over fallen logs and trying to miss the melting snow that would inevitably make him slip. He sprinted away from something, constantly looking back as he ran.

His face was bruised and his clothes were torn and old. The sound of barking dogs were heard in the distance and Loki looked even more scared than what he already was. He saw a forest clearing and new that if he went there he would be out in the open for whoever was after him.

He made a beeline for a river to his right. The river was more of a creek now since there was a dam Loki could see up stream but there was still plenty of water. He ran across it nearly slipping on the submerged rocks.

He eventually made his way across and up the rocky side. His breath was now visible in the cold air. He could hear the sounds of hounds getting closer and tried to run faster.

An arrow whizzed past his head and embedded itself into a tree trunk. He turned to see the advancing men who were searching for him. He was glad that they weren't the best of shots. But his thoughts were wrong.

An arrow hit just under his shoulder blade, digging deep into his skin. He nearly fell down but kept on going. His running was futile. He could feel the blood running down his back and could tell that the arrow hit something vital. Another hit him lower but on the other side making him fall over this time.

He hit the ground with a heavy thud and could hear the increasing barks and yells of dogs and Aesir.

Tony woke with heaving breaths and a sweaty brow. His heart was trying to make its escape out of his chest. He clutched at his reactor. The dream had sent him reeling and it was far too real to just be that.

He looked around the room. The sky outside was starting to go orange and the clouds were starting to go pink. Something was wrong and then Tony realised that Loki was missing.

He instantly got up. There was no sign of him in the room. He heard the sound of running water and made his way to the bathroom door quickly.

Tony tried to open it but the door was locked, he didn't worry about it too much but knocked anyway. There was no answer so he knocked again.

"Loki? You ok in there?" there was no answer and Tony was beginning to worry. He knocked harder, "Bambi!" he just about yelled, worry evident now in his voice. There was still no answer.

He could hear water still running in the bath and then he heard the sound of it overflowing and hitting the tile beneath. Probably not a good sign. He started to try and open the door by the handle again but it wouldn't open and then started hitting his side against the door to break it down. That'd be sore in the morning. He eventually hit it hard enough and the door opened.

"Shit!" he yelled.

There was water all over the floor and he rushed to quickly shut off the water. Loki laid motionless at the bottom of the bath, hair floating at the surface.

"No!" Tony yelled again as he pulled Loki out, "Bruce!" he screamed.

He dragged him to a dryer part of the bathroom floor. Loki's lips had gone blue and his skin was pale. Loki wasn't breathing.

"No, no, NO!" Tony yelled again as he tried to see if Loki had a pulse.

He brushed the wet hair from Loki's face. He started making compressions on his chest.

"Come on. You can't drown," he pushed about thirty times and then placed his fingers down holding Loki's nose shut and used mouth-to-mouth. There was no response and he did it again.

"Come on!" Tony's vision was starting to blur as tears threatened to spill, "Stop trying to die!" he pleaded.

He finished the next compressions. There was still nothing.

* * *

**MOAR NOTEYS**: EHEHEHE LOKI'D. NO HAPPY ENDING FOR YOU, BWAHAHAHA. Oh I made myself sad. You did not see that chapter ending coming and if you say you did you fricken lie. LIE. I'm still going to hell. What will happen next I wonder. Will Loki survive? *dramatic music*

As a curiosity for my own ego, has anybody rec'd this story on Tumblr because if they have imma follow you, that is right. I am egotistical because I never get praise anywhere else so I suck it up like a soulless leech.

Know that I love you! Love. LOVE. LURV. Yep.

Stay awesome beautiful people *kisses*


	14. Birds

**Nope still nothing**

**A/N:** Better late than never aye. I seemed to have left you with a terrible cliff-hanger. I'm a bad person. Oh well. On a personal note: 1 cat has been hit by a car and died, 1 got put down and 2 more getting close to death and that in the space of, what, 2 weeks. YAY FOR THAT CRAP. CHAPTER THO. So a joyful occasion, ahahah no this story is sad. To make up for it though it's starts of sorta nice and then gets weird.

Just a random warning here, I have never had any experience in the relationship department whatsoever. So that means I've had no experience in the whole kissing thing, ja. So sorry for that fuck up in the story.

READ PRETTIES

**WARNINGS**: Nasty things (what did you expect) i.e. eyes and brain. Poop chappy (OOC).

**Chapter 14: Birds**

* * *

Tony checked again if Loki was breathing.

He cupped Loki's cold pale cheeks and brushed his thumbs over the cheekbones. He stared at the pale figure in his arms, "Don't do this, please," Tony pleaded through tears, "I haven't fixed you yet."

Tony wiped his face, "Come!" Tony punched him in the chest hard and he could hear a crack, "On!" he hit it again.

With one more hit Loki gasped for breath. He lunged forward and clutched onto Tony.

"Yes!" Tony yelled.

As he sat on the wet tile, he hugged Loki tight still not sure he was alive. He petted Loki's wet hair as his breathing was heavy and laboured. Loki coughed into Tony's shoulder and he kissed the top of Loki's head.

"What the fuck did you do that for?" Tony croaked still holding onto Loki tight.

Loki's breathing was starting to even and wrapped his arms around Tony, "I didn't mean to," Loki whispered sadly, "I fell asleep. I'm sorry."

Tony let out a laugh that eventually turned into silent sobs, "You're crazy stupid you know that?"

Loki lifted his head up from where it laid at Tony's chest. He looked into Tony's eyes and noted the sadness in them and the tiredness. Loki was still pale and dark bags under his eyes made the green seem brighter.

"I'm sorry," Loki whispered again. He looked away from Tony shamed at himself again.

Tony looked at him sadly, "Why must you do that?"

"What?" Loki mumbled. He was trying to get away from Tony's gaze but was too weak.

"The self-loathing, do you feel as though you deserve this, the pain?" Tony tried to look in Loki's eyes.

"All the Nine Realms loath me so why should I not loath myself?"

"No," Tony grabbed a hold of Loki's face gently. He made him look at him, "I saved you. I don't hate you. If I did why would I have saved you?"

"Is it not your duty to save the weak?" Loki's voice was dripping with self-hatred.

Tony furrowed his brows in confusion and at the pain of Loki's voice.

"Is it not your duty to save the innocent?" Loki's voice was beginning to crack, "I am far from innocent."

"Loki, don't you say it," his voice was stern.

"You should've let me-"

Loki was silenced by Tony placing a chaste kiss to Loki's lips. Loki sat their frozen.

Tony pulled away looking horrified at what he'd done. What was going through his head? He slapped himself mentally then kicked himself. Tony eventually stood up.

"Tony what's the matter?" he heard Bruce's voice and thanked any divine being for their intervention.

Loki still sat on the floor looking confused and dazed. Tony hastily made his way out to meet Bruce and Loki stared at the space that had been occupied by him.

Tony mentally slapped himself again, "Check Loki over. I basically just brought him back to life," Bruce was looking rather confused, "He nearly drowned in the bath. I – I have to go and do things."

Bruce paled and rushed into the bathroom and Tony rushed out of the room.

As soon as Tony rounded a corner of the hallway he started to hit his head against the wall.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," he closed his eyes tight. How did the idea even cross his mind and why didn't he mind. Oh if Pepper could see this, Tony having an existential crisis over probably making the worst decision in his life. Why'd he do it? Why'd he kiss an evil Norse? Why'd he kiss an evil Nose god who was mentally unstable?

"Where's my alcohol!" he yelled to the ceiling.

Tony stormed off to his workshop.

Bruce crouched near, checking over Loki who seemed dazed. His eyes were moving rapidly as if he were reading.

"Loki you ok?" Bruce moved cautiously closer.

Loki's eyes shot quickly to him and Bruce may have been slightly intimated by the dark look. Bruce stepped back and Loki's eyes followed him.

"Tony?" Bruce called over his shoulder still looking at Loki. Bruce heard the sound of ribs knitting back together; he was still looking at Bruce as though he was going to kill him, "Tony?" he called out louder and more urgently.

Loki's eyes flashed red momentarily and he stood up, "Tony, where are you?"

Bruce could feel the fear rising and knew what would come of it. Loki smiled menacingly at him, it eventually turned into a chuckle, then full blown laughter.

Loki doubled over with laughter, "I sincerely apologise. I could not help myself."

Bruce's fear was replaced with confusion and then slight hurt.

Loki tried to catch his breath. He straightened himself up, "Sorry, that was mean," he said giving a sad kind of smile. He knew the joke was bad and felt bad now.

He gave a light laugh, "That's ok. I'm just glad it was a joke or otherwise Tony might have to re-decorate again," Loki froze slightly at Tony's name.

"I forgot about that."

"That's alright," he went to pat Loki on the shoulder but he jerked back, "Sorry," Bruce retracted his hand.

Loki was rigid but eventually relaxed, "No, that's entirely alright," he slumped slightly.

"Still not used to being here, huh?" Bruce asked giving an understanding look.

Loki shook his head minutely, "No, I'm not used to people touching me without being hurt," he said defeated.

"What do you mean?"

Loki started to leave and walked past Bruce, "The last time someone touched me, before I came here to Midgard, I was beaten and vivisected," he turned to leave again but stopped at the door, "So I am sorry."

Bruce stood wide eyed as Loki left the room. He eventually made his way to the middle of the room and sat cross legged. The setting sun gave Loki a glow that wasn't there. He stared out the window in thought. With a small flick of his wrist he was dressed again.

"Are – are you ok?" Bruce asked cautiously, "You just basically drowned."

Loki just nodded his head still looking out of the large window.

"What happened?"

"I fell asleep. My brain just couldn't keep up anymore," he stated simply.

Bruce came closer to Loki, "Can't you sleep?"

The god sighed, "If I sleep bad things happen. Things that hurt."

There was silence from Bruce. He knew what nightmares were, they were terrible friends. He had them far more than any normal person would.

"Do you have voices in your head?" Loki asked out of the blue.

He scratched the back of his head nervously, "Yeah, you could say that."

"Then you know what it's like, to live fighting yourself and the people around you for silence," his voice was calm and as was his body.

"Far too much," Bruce replied quietly.

"You are far too calm for a man that becomes a beast," Loki wasn't judging he seemed curious to the fact, "You have lost someone because of it though."

His breath hitched slightly. He didn't want to go into the Betty subject. She was far too kind to be involved with something like this.

"Yes," he replied.

"She was kind and you thought it best to leave and save her," Loki's voice was calm and quiet but somehow it seemed understanding.

He let out a sigh. The truth hurt more than it should have, "Unfortunately."

The god nodded solemnly.

There was a companionable silence between the two as Bruce sat near Loki on the floor. Bruce did understand what he meant. The Hulk was a constant voice in his head edging him on.

"Why did I try to destroy such beauty?" Loki broke the silence looking out to the city scape. The setting sun making the buildings look like glinting gold, "Even in a metropolis, chaos has been made to work."

"I couldn't tell you," he replied dumbfounded at what he thought was Loki's remorse.

"But you question it as well?"

The doctor nodded, "Yeah I do but I ask myself the same question about the Hulk."

"Ah but the beast isn't so mindless, now is he?" Loki's voice was rising in curiosity.

Bruce simply shrugged.

"I don't think a mindless monster would protect the things people thought it would destroy," Loki voiced still looking out at the sky that was slowly going darker.

"That may be the case but I'm still hard to believe it quite yet," Bruce was thinking it over but it would take more than a compromised god.

"Maybe one day I will find my redemption. You found yours in the group of mortals that saved the world from me. But somehow I think I'll be condemned into everlasting redemption," he stated sadly.

"Everyone eventually is redeemed," Loki gave a sad smile at Bruce's words.

"Maybe," he said sadly, "Let me show you something."

Loki turned around still sitting. Bruce looked uneasy. The sun behind Loki made his hair look like a halo. Loki looked deep into Bruce's eyes noting the tiredness and stress. Such torment laid in both sets of eyes. Bruce noted the same weariness to Loki's emerald eyes, the age and the pain.

Loki placed two fingers near his lips and muttered words Bruce couldn't hear or understand. His eyes begun to have an unnatural green glow to them and strands of green escaped his mouth and encircled his fingers.

He slowly took his hand away from his mouth, "Trust me," his eyes still glowing unnaturally like green fire. Bruce was entranced by the glow.

The hand slowly made its way to Bruce's head leaving a trail of green behind. His fingers were less than an inch from the doctor's forehead. Bruce still didn't move and somehow he didn't feel threatened by the god's actions.

Loki put the two fingers to his forehead, green escaping from them and seeping into Bruce's forehead. Loki closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The hand fell from his face and back into the god's lap. Loki slumped and started coughing.

Bruce sat stunned. Something felt different, "What did you do?" he asked confused.

Loki continued dry coughing, "Don't you hear it?" he replied, the coughing easing up.

"Hear what?" Bruce was even more confused.

Loki looked up looking manic and haggard, "Exactly."

Bruce still looked confused when he realised the clarity of his mind. He could concentrate; he could think clearly, he didn't have the voices in his head. He looked at Loki in awe and utter joy.

Loki looked up and gave a small smile, "I took them away but I do not know for how long," he said exasperated. He winced slightly.

Bruce still looked at Loki in awe, "If you wouldn't freak out I would hug you and worship you like the god you are," he looked ready to cry at how clear his mind was, "But why? Why would you do it? Out of all the people."

Loki eventually caught his breath, "You are a hero with two faces, a smart man and a deadly force. It should not be brought down by a fight between both. I would thank you for not hurting me the second time around," Loki gave a small nod of thanks to the doctor.

Bruce was lost for words. Loki smiled at him and blinked tiredly.

"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to be left to my thoughts. If not for an hour or so," he asked kindly.

"Oh yes," Bruce stood up to leave.

Loki slowly lay onto his back, straining his head to see out of the window behind him.

"I'll be just outside. It might seem terrible but it's probably not the best idea to leave you alone," Bruce gave an apologetic look.

"Understandable," he replied slightly chipper from where he lay on the floor, "We're surprised you're leaving the room altogether."

"We're? – never mind," Bruce left the room but kept the door open.

He brought a single seated sofa to in front of the door across the hallway. He'd keep an eye on the god. Bruce sat and stared at Loki looking like a five year old on the floor, he gave a small smile at the thought.

Bruce can't remember the last time his mind was this clear. He didn't have the Hulk talking or yelling in his head. It was clear. He eventually felt sleep creep up on him. His sleep had always been restless but with the newfound magic that had ran through his head it seemed so much more pleasant.

Eventually Bruce fell asleep. It was the calmest sleep he'd ever had.

xOx

It was dark outside it'd had been an hour or more since Bruce left. Loki sat up and looked at the night outside the window. He looked to the door to see Bruce asleep across the hallway.

Loki stood up silently and slowly made his way to Bruce. He squatted in front of the chair, looking at him intently. He was still fast asleep. Loki looked at him like an intrigued animal.

"It feels nice to have done something good for someone, doesn't it?" Loki said quietly to the room.

"Yes. Yes, it does," he replied back to himself, "He's a kind man. He deserved it."

"He is smart," the other part of Loki said accusingly.

"That as well," Loki replied with a smile, "I don't want to hurt anyone anymore," he added and the smile faltered.

"You'll have to get rid of us first," the other said darkly.

Loki gave Bruce another appreciative look and stood to leave. He made his way in search of Stark. The first place to look would be his workshop. He walked down the hallway slowly. His magic was interfering with the lights making them flicker ominously.

He made his way down there. Tony wasn't there but he had left a trail of destruction, he'd been here recently.

"What has happened?" Loki asked the A.I. calmly.

"Mr Stark was distressed to not have been able to obtain alcohol down here," JARVIS responded.

"Where is he now?"

"The top floors, sir."

Loki gave a small nod and left using magic.

xOx

Tony stood at the window looking over the city at night with a class full of scotch. He found it calmer not having the lights on but he was still having his crisis. What the hell was he going to do? He closed his eyes in thought and lent against the window.

He could feel as though someone was staring at him but took no notice. There was the smell of mint that was all too familiar. He slowly opened his eyes and froze, he dropped his glass making it shatter on the ground.

Loki had him pinned making his escape impossible. That was fantastic, what's better than avoiding a problem, facing one. Loki's reflective eyes looked at him as if he was going to kill him.

Tony just stared for a moment and Loki stared back, "Didn't see you come in."

Loki narrowed his eyes at him and Tony got nervous.

"If it's about the kiss thing, just forget it," he tried to be as calm as possible but it just didn't work when you had a six foot two Norse god looking like he'd want to rip your spleen out.

With lightning reflexes Loki had him trapped. He had placed both hands on the glass, one each side of his head. He barred his teeth in a snarl. Tony tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Why did you run?" Loki hissed, "Do I repulse you?"

He could feel his heart beating in his head, "Um, what? No," he replied nervously.

Tony tried to make his escape but realised he was still stuck; he looked for any exits and then back to Loki.

Loki was looking exceptionally dark in the low light, "Are you going to kill me?"

He didn't answer but kept staring.

"Oh you are. Fantastic," he said sarcastically, laughing at his demise.

Loki brought his face closer to Tony's. Far too close for anything other than intimate. Tony was drawn to Loki's lips but then he focused more on the angry and pained eyes.

"Was it pity?" he whispered.

Loki's lips ghosted over Tony's and he wondered when he died and went to heaven. He had the increasing urge to lunge forward but the god made the first move.

Loki pressed his lips into his and Tony melted into it. He closed his eyes and carded his fingers through the black hair. Loki deepened the kiss, teasing Tony's mouth open with his tongue and Tony was all too happy to comply, he let a groan escape his mouth. Loki pulled away and Tony tried to follow slightly. They were still close, Tony blinked owlishly at the god.

"Wow," Tony licked his lip, he was looking content but confused, "That was better than death. Far better."

Loki narrowed his eyes at Tony again, "It wasn't pity," he said quietly. The god seemed to relax.

Tony just shook his head looking slightly smug. Tony was about to speak but stopped when Loki got close again. His eyes didn't hold the anger they did before. Their lips ghosted each other's again.

Whatever was going to happen was abruptly stopped by the sound of the elevator doors opening.

"Maybe next time," Loki's cold breath sent shivers down his spine. Loki stepped back slightly.

"Tony, why the fuck do you have the light's off?"

Oh, crap it was Clint.

There was a collective of agreements.

A million times crap. It seemed as though the rest of the Avengers had all arrived.

Someone flicked on the lights and everyone froze. The only person that looked remotely calm was Loki.

Everyone drew their weapons.

"Tony, quickly move," Natasha said raising her gun.

Before Tony could protest anything Clint fired an arrow. It hit Loki right in his eye. Loki stepped back slightly but still stood there with an arrow in his left eye as if nothing had happened. Everyone quickly moved in closer.

"What the fuck have you done?" Tony nearly screamed. Tony was surprised that the arrow didn't go straight through his head. More surprising was the fact that he was still standing.

"I told you I'd get an arrow in his eye," Clint boasted to Natasha.

Natasha went wide eyed.

"What?" Clint asked confused. She gripped his arm and tried to turn him around to see Loki.

"How is he even stand-"Natasha cut herself off.

Loki reached for the arrow and slowly pulled it out. There was no sign of emotion in his face. He continued to pull at it. There was a sickening pop as he pulled the arrow hard bringing out his eye with it. Everyone looked at what was happening in horror. It seemed as though some frontal lobe had been skewered onto the arrow shaft with his eye.

"What's going-?" Bruce walked into the room and stopped dead.

Loki looked down at the arrow in his hand, "Well I can say I've had more brain than that removed recently," he said off handed and rather nonplussed by the situation.

He pulled the eye and part of the brain off. He carefully put the bit of brain back in his eye socket then the eye went back in. He placed a hand over his socket. His hand started to glow green for a second and then stopped. He removed it and blinked trying to get it to work again.

"I deserved that," he called to Clint while he finished blinking.

He threw the arrow across the floor and it landed by his feet.

"I believe that is yours," Loki still looked uncaring of the situation, "I shall be leaving. Pleasure meeting you all again," he gave a small nod to the dumbfounded group of Avengers and gave a quick wink to Tony. With a small wave of the hand Loki was gone like smoke.

"What the fuck just happened?" Clint nearly screamed.

"Which part?" Tony replied nervously.

"All of it!" Clint, Natasha and Steve yelled.

* * *

**A/N:** WE HAVE REACHED THE FROSTIRON ZONE. Yeah boi. Aww Bruce and Loki bonding. Did you see the thing with the thing that I put in there with redemption, har har har. Isn't Loki nice. Ehehe Loki and his mind, oh hilarity. Aaaaaand then we have Clint and bits of Loki's brain *shudders*. I thought this chapter was a bit poo quite frankly. We have the kissing *AWKWARD* but now we have Frostiron, ollay!

You know what's nice, reviews. Yeah those are nice. Like really, _really, _nice. I don't care if you want to blast me. It's just nice yeah.

**P.S.** SORRY AGAIN for the late chapter but I've had more feels for my other fic lately and you should totally check it out. It has Jotun Loki. The Frozen Heart of the Frozen King or something like that.

OK BYE PRETTY PEOPLE. Stay awesome. I LOVE YOU ALL. LOOOOOVE.


	15. Dirty Looks

**A/N:** OH MY GAWD. SO SORRY IT'S SO LATE. Being that late you'd think it'd be pregnant. Sorry again for tardiness. But there were legitimate reason. I hope this makes up for it but I really doubt it because I read through it and face palmed at the shityness. It's a bit longer so that's a plus. Just because we get to Frostiron don't mean it's going to get sunny and fluffy, still sharps edges and nasty stuff (I'm not good at fluffy, I'm better at maiming characters). And Loki took that arrow like a man!

p.s. I HATE WRITING RELATIONSHIP THINGYS. So that's shit. Tony and Loki make my head hurt. If there's any continuity issues sorry.

poop chapter is poop, enjoy.

**WARNINGS**: shit meeting fans, small blood and some fluff (an endangered species in this fic) and it's all awkies. This I think is OOC (like really, really OOC)

**Chapter 15: Dirty Looks**

* * *

They were waiting patiently for answers. Well Clint looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. Tony was looking around nervously and Banner kept to the side. He wasn't sure whether anyone had noticed Bruce yet. Tony didn't see Thor with them which became instant relief.

"Well this isn't what it looks like-"

"It looks like Loki is here," Natasha growled.

"Where is he we need to take him in," Steve supplied stepping down looking authoritative.

"Or kill him," Clint was looking slightly constipated, "I'm opting for that one."

"Chill people, I have this sorted," Tony tried to placate.

"So you've called SHIELD?" Natasha asked angrily.

"Well um… no," by the way Natasha was looking at him he thought his insides would melt.

"Where is he?" Steve despite his nature looked ready to kill.

"The thing about that is, that ain't going to go down. As much as I would have agreed with you before but he isn't hurting anyone-"

"Has Loki taken control of you?" Clint asked seriously stepping down as well.

"What, no-"

"Tony where is he and _why is he here_ in the first place? We need to take him in," Natasha still held her gun tight.

Tony started to look frustrated. He was about to speak again when he heard a crash down the hall.

"What the?" everyone turned to see where the noise came from, there was another crash.

"Oh not good," Tony's eyes went wide, "Bruce, come here please," he added calmly.

Bruce started making his way to Tony. All eyes were on him.

"What going on?" Clint looked far too confused for a normal human being.

There was another crash and Bruce picked up his pace, "Something maybe not so good," Tony answered still looking in the direction of the hall.

Tony and Bruce started whispering to each other. Clint, Steve and Natasha looked on with confusion.

"What the fuck is going on?" Natasha was starting to lose her patience.

"Just…" Tony raised a hand gesturing her to wait a sec and he continued to whisper to Bruce.

They finished Bruce running down the hallway, "Call for me if there's an issue," he called out, "I hope there's no issue," he added quietly.

"Tony, tell us what's going on or we'll call SHEILD right now," Steve crossed his arms over his chest. He looked stern and angry.

Why did he have to have the crazy Norse god?

"Tony!" there was another crash.

"Just hold on a fucking second," he rushed past them and made his way to Loki's room.

The rest of the group followed.

"His having a fit," Bruce was catching his breath against the wall.

"Like a sooky child?" Clint asked incredulously.

"No, he is having a mental breakdown," Bruce snapped seriously.

"Bruce, go get a sedative," Tony may have been calm on the outside but on the inside he was having a panic attack.

Bruce nodded and stood up, "He's trying to claw at his skin again."

"Crap. Don't come in," he pointed to the confused group.

"Tony what is going on?" Steve was trying to act a little kinder.

"Please just, wait, I'll tell you soon. Don't call anyone," Tony pleaded. He closed Loki's door behind him.

Loki was pacing, he looked pained and something pulled in Tony's chest. Loki's eyes were vacant and moving as if he was thinking a million miles a second. In his hand he had a large shard of mirror that obviously came from the bathroom. From the looks of it he had punched the mirror; his knuckles were bloodied and bruised.

The room even more trashed and a broken sofa lay between them.

"Hey, Loki?" Tony tried to stay as close to the wall as possible. He didn't know what Loki would do.

Loki still paced and absently clawed at the already raw flesh on the arm that held the piece of mirror, "They're going to take me away," he said quietly.

Loki yelled, fear, anger, pain and every other negative emotion flashed across the pale face as he threw a piece of furniture into the heavy duty window. He threw it with such force that a small crack began to form on the almost impenetrable surface.

Tony started to make his way towards Loki slowly, "I'm gonna make sure that it won't come to that," he'd make a terrible social worker.

"They'll take me back!" Loki yelled at Tony with his fists clenched at his sides as if it would make everything better. Blood started to drip off of the mirror in Loki's hand.

Loki deflated and looked to the ground, "They'll take me back," he repeated in a whisper.

Loki's demeanour changed in almost an instant. He looked up slightly, "You," he growled as his head was half bowed. The grip on the dagger like shard grew tighter again by Loki's side, his knuckles going white.

Loki's expression looked like bottled up rage and anger. Tony stood straight and looked apprehensive at Loki, "Let's not do anything rash," he swallowed a lump in his throat out of possible fear.

Loki barred his teeth and launched himself towards and over the sofa. The shard of mirror was raised above his head in both hands, glinting from the lights. Loki's eyes had turned a poisonous green, an all too familiar colour of a mad man.

Loki landed atop of Tony and fell to the floor. Tony struggled to get away but Loki had him pinned.

"Loki!" Tony yelled trying to see if anything would get through to him, "Stop this!"

Fear flashed across Tony's face as Loki raised the shard above his head ready to drive it through Tony's chest. Loki's breathing shallow and hard.

Loki's expression changed to something akin to confusion. His expression softened and he dropped the shard of mirror. He looked down at his shaking hands that had been so close to ending the only person who had forced his way in to helping. He raised his head and looked horrified at what he'd done, brows raised in confusion and apology. All Loki saw was fear in Tony's eyes. He had to look away, his eyes back on his bloodied palms in his lap. The green eyes, back to their beautiful emerald, started to well up.

Tony's expression softened, "Hey," he sat up and pulled the Loki into an embrace.

Loki started to cry into Tony's shirt, "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Tony just squeezed him tighter and began carding his fingers through the inky hair, "Don't worry. Let's just hope we have a little notice before hand when it comes to visitors."

Tony scanned the room, looking at the trashed state of it. There was mattress stuffing and splintered wood from chairs scattered around the place. There were small blood trails all over the place. Loki must've cut himself up moderately bad.

He took a glance at the window; the small crack had spread out, "How did you manage to crack the glass? It's bullet proof and then some."

Loki just slowly snaked his arms around Tony's waist not answering.

"I guess it's a god thing."

Tony rubbed soothing circles on the god's back, "I'd make a terrible social worker."

"You were doing fine until then," Tony could hear the smile, even if it was sad.

Tony pulled away slightly and looked at Loki's arms and hands. There were deep cuts on his palm from gripping the shard and claw marks up his arm, said arm was bleeding and cut up. It wasn't as bad as before but still concerning. Tony took the pale hands in his and noticed the knuckles again that were bloodied, "Maybe we should fix you up," he tried to look in Loki's eyes who had his gaze down.

Loki looked up. He looked like a hurt child that had fallen over or done something bad. Tony gave a small smile and kissed him on the forehead. Loki replied with a sad smile that would make anyone's heart break.

"I think Bruce is outside with a sedative. He'll take you to medical," Tony turned his head to the door, "I don't think we'll be needing the sedative," he turned back to look at him, "Will we need it?" he asked sceptically.

Loki just shook his head, "I'm good," he gave a more genuine smile.

"Sit tight. I'll see who's out there before I ship you off," Tony stood up making his way to the door. Loki stood up silently and followed.

Tony opened the door peeking around out side. Loki hid behind the door. The hallway was empty. Tony wasn't sure whether to be confused or relieved.

"Tony," he nearly jumped at his name but looked down the other end of the hallway. Bruce was still there, "Is everything ok?" Bruce looked worried.

"Yeah, for the most part," he searched the hallway again, "Where have they gone?"

"I told them to go back onto the party deck and wait."

"Bruce, you are a godsend. If I didn't have other things going down I'd kiss you, because really, that's fantastic," He didn't want to bring Loki out while everyone glared and threatened, "You might need to take him to medical," Tony whispered loudly.

Bruce paled slightly, "What do you mean?" he asked worriedly again.

"Our little god just banged himself up a bit. Just patch him up and it should be all good," Tony gave an unsure smile, "And I don't think we'll be needing that," he added looking at the sedative in his hands.

"Oh good," he shoved it into his back pocket.

"Loki," Tony turned to gesture him to come out. He wasn't there, Loki came from behind the door, "Geez," Tony jumped, "You might be sneakier than Natasha."

Loki gave a small mischievous grin, "I lived in shadows for most of my life. I picked up a few things," as light as the statement was it was kind of sad.

Loki made his way around Tony and stood next to Bruce.

Tony looked them both over not sure how well those two would mesh, "So… you two made peace or something?"

Bruce gave a warm smile, "You could say that."

Loki stood there looking awkward trying to hide his arms which made Tony want to fix it himself. Tony shut the door behind him, "Well good, I'm going to try and end World War three out there."

Tony made his way down the hallway. Bruce and Loki heading down the other direction. He was just hoping it would all go smoothly. He felt run down and tired; time to put on the public speaking smile he'd used so many times when he felt like shit.

He rounded the corner and found all three on the sofas talking among themselves, all eyes turned to him with varying degrees of scrutiny.

Cap's expression was the first to break, "Tony is that blood? What happened?"

He looked down in confusion at his shirt. Some of Loki's blood had managed to get on his shirt, "Ah," he looked up with realisation dawning, "Yes, not mine however," He made his way past them and to his bar, "Drink?" he asked from behind the counter.

"Whose blood is that?" Natasha still looked stoned face.

"Fine _I'll_ have a drink then," Tony poured himself, "It's Loki's blood," he replied to Natasha absently.

The three all looked shocked, "What happened?"

"Did you call anyone?" Tony asked ignoring the question.

"What's it matter?" Clint asked.

"Did you call anyone?" the humour slowly sliding from Tony's expression.

"No," came the confused reply from Steve.

"Good," he didn't know how to explain something like this, "Loki is under my amnesty for the moment," Tony spoke after a moment out of the blue, "You take him, threaten him, try to kill him, I will have to ask you to leave," the group looked confused at Tony's seriousness.

"Have you gone insane?" Clint yelled with confused anger.

Tony shrugged, "Maybe."

"You have a villain, a villain that destroyed most of Manhattan and killed a shit load of people, living in your tower!" Clint yelled again, "And you're giving him amnesty!"

"Ah, but the thing is, aren't we meant to be helping people that need our help?"

"Yes but this is Loki," Steve piped in, "What help could he possibly need. We don't help the bad guy."

Natasha looked stone-faced and watched the whole situation unfold.

"Loki has been punished. We shipped him off to Asgard and they did just that."

"But two and a half years of what, imprisonment, for killing hundreds, that is hardly punishment," Steve argued.

Tony cleared his throat, "I don't know for sure what happened but what did happen has made him a little," he moved his index finger around by his head to illustrate Loki's instability.

"But he is the god of lies," Clint thought it helpful to state the obvious.

"True," came a silky voice.

Everybody turned to it, seeing Loki standing before the hallway. Everyone apart from Tony slowly stood up and inched away beginning to go into battle poses. Loki looked in control but his eyes gave him away to Tony and probably Natasha.

Loki raised his hands in surrender, "I mean no harm to anyone," he said kindly trying to diffuse the situation, "I am merely here under an invitation from Stark," he nodded his head in thanks towards the aforementioned.

All three turned to Tony looking slightly affronted.

"Now," Loki started towards the group, "I don't want any trouble," he started circling them looking nonchalant, "If it is what you wish, I will leave. But know this," he stopped and turned to look at the small group, "That if you call your superiors and you elect to send me back to Asgard, I will run. I will not hurt any of you, for it is your duty to protect this realm from creatures like me but I will run."

Something in Loki's eyes must've shown because Natasha seemed to loosen slightly.

"Why would you run? What is so bad about Asgard?" Steve asked.

Loki turned to him, "Because what they would do to us you would call barbaric and we'd rather not dwell on those thoughts more than we already do," he gave a smile that set unease into the whole group. The change in the way Loki used 'we' wasn't lost on Natasha as she looked to Tony, trying to ask something silently.

Tony could see the slight twitches of Loki's eye and muscles as an indication that he was trying his best to keep his composer.

"How do we even know you're telling the truth about any of this?" Clint asked accusingly.

Loki's eye twitched, "You don't," he answered simply.

Tony noticed the discomfort and the rapid eye movement Loki was trying to control. Loki's hands were relaxed at his side and slow trail of blood made its way down his finger from some of the cuts and slowly dropped on the grey floor. Loki seemed oblivious to the trickling of blood down his arm.

"I'll talk to them," Tony interjected before Loki could flip out on the group. He gave a meaningful look to him. Loki's face had become blank, "You're bleeding," he stated looking from Loki's hand to his face, "Go get that sorted," he added cautiously.

Loki slowly looked down at the mentioned hand keeping it still by his side. He seemed to just stare at the blood that dripped down, his face still blank. The scene was ominous to say the least. What was going through Loki's head?

Tony only took this as a bad sign. Loki was still staring at the blood that was dripping from his fingers.

"Loki?" Tony slowly made his way towards the god cautiously who stood a few feet away.

The rest of the group looked apprehensive. They all looked to each other with confusion. Bruce seemed to understand the situation slightly.

"Bruce?" Tony continued his way slowly towards Loki looking at him as he spoke to Bruce, "Have the sedative ready. To be honest I ain't sure whether it'd work or not," the thought of it not working sent an uneasy chill down his spine.

Loki's eyes had glassed over as he vaguely stared at nothing in particular.

"What's going on? What's happened to him?" Steve asked trying to get answers from the all too serious Tony and the deceptively calm Bruce.

"Shh," he hushed for him to be quiet. Tony stared down Loki who was oblivious to him, "This may back fire terribly. I don't want to lose my face," he added solemnly.

He reached a hand out to bring Loki out of the lifeless trance he was in, "Hey," Tony gently grabbed Loki's shoulder not yet sure of the repercussions.

Loki took a deep breath and looked up, confusion written on the pale face for a moment before a mask of false calm was put on. The confusion looked as if he didn't know where he was for a moment or what had just transpired.

Tony sighed in relief glad his face was intact, "Jarvis, direct Loki to the guest room closest to mine," he rubbed at his brow.

"Certainly, sir," came the voice that startled Steve slightly.

Tony looked into to Loki's slightly confused green eyes and gave a small gesture that meant he could leave. Loki did. In another flash of green smoke Loki was gone.

There were a few moments of tense silence.

"What was all that about?" Clint scanned the faces of everybody looking for answers.

"It was a subtle personality change," Bruce rubbed at his forehead.

"Wait… you're saying - ?"

"Loki has, as far as I've documented, multiple personalities," Bruce clarified.

The group looked at odds with each other.

"I told you it was serious," Tony made his way towards the couch to plonk down a battle of scotch in one hand he took from the bar, "but did you listen, noooo," he exaggerated, "You know a few hours before you guys came here, unannounced may I add," he pointed a finger to the group as he sat slack on the sofa, "He had nearly drowned in the bath tub."

"What?"

"Yup. Unintentionally and as far I'm aware Loki's a _little_ bit suicidal," he exaggerated.

"Loki suffers from multiple amounts of issues caused from trauma," Bruce crossed his arms and looked meaningfully at the group.

Tony stared out the window to the city lit by lights. He took a sip from the bottle. Fuck everything was his attitude at the moment.

"So you," Steve pointed to Bruce expression a little softer, "agree with Tony on this?"

"Yes," he stated simply, "I intend to document a little more of Loki's erratic behaviour if he stays to determine extensive damage."

The group still looked a bit suspicious.

"What are you guys doing here anyway?" Tony asked.

"You said that we could stay here a couple of months back," Steve said as if it were obvious.

Tony slapped his forehead as he just remembered, "Yeah I did," he groaned, "If you're going to ring up SHEILD get it over with."

"We trust you."

"What?" Tony turned confusion written on his face.

"Doesn't mean we're going to like it," Natasha added coolly.

Tony nodded, "There are rooms down stairs. The floor can lock up if it's a big concern. You and Clint," he pointed to Natasha, "have rooms next to each other," he gave them a wink and a smug grin.

"Tony," Natasha growled looking rather angry.

"Fine."

"I'm still not comfortable staying here. Actually quite a lot uncomfortable about it," Clint eyed Tony.

"Trust me I doubt you'll see him much. I've only seen him really in his room," Tony place the bottle on the coffee table and made his way to the elevator to show the team to their rooms down stairs, "Fair warning though," the group followed, "It's probably best not to mention Thor or Asgard if you do stumble upon him when he's by himself."

"And why's that?" Clint asked looking bored.

"Because he'll start talking to himself," he added calmly, "Then it goes all downhill from there."

Clint's eyes went wide as did Natasha's and Steve's.

"Bruce, go get the furniture out of the room, Jarvis will show you where it is," Bruce nodded and made his way down the hall. Tony knew now that furniture and Loki by himself didn't turn out so well. He turned back to the group as he got in the elevator, "He keeps to himself people. No need to worry," he said as he noticed the sceptical looks, "Much."

xOx

It took a few hours for Tony to get the team sorted out. There was a whole floor with rooms for the group that Tony had designed after their first full meeting of the Avengers. The three looked at Tony with suspicion, still not really trusting him, thinking him compromised. Tony was too tired to care about their questioning looks.

After the hassle of their scrutiny Tony went to his bedroom. He slammed the door shut with an audible bang in anger and frustration. From the penthouse the view was incredible but he didn't care for the night full of lights. He sat at the edge of the bed sitting in his anger.

He decided it was a time for a shower and a change of clothes.

After he had a good half hour shower, washing away the stress and blood, he laid in the bed just staring at the roof in thought. He hadn't heard a word from Loki afterwards and he looked a little freaked out after Tony had pulled him out of the trance. Tony was about to nod of when Jarvis intoned.

"It seems that your guest is in distress, sir."

"Now you let me know this stuff," he groaned.

He got up, slightly peeved as to be woken up.

"You're not at your finest are you Jarv?"

There was no answer from the A.I.

"Thought so, I'll get that fixed before you blow up the tower or something. You'll be acting like Dum-E soon," he rubbed the tiredness from his eyes.

"That was uncalled for," Jarvis replied irritated.

Tony chuckled at the offended A.I. He then realised the seriousness of what may be happening, fear suddenly spiked. He quickly ran to the room next door.

He slowly made his way into the room. It was dark, no light except for the lights from the city came through the window. The room was clear of furniture as Tony asked of Bruce; he wondered where he managed to put it all, he doubted there was much in there to begin with. He heard a faint voice and noticed the lowly mattress on the ground. Without the furniture the room looked like a large, flashy prison cell.

Tony's eyes fell to Loki who was thrashing violently on the mattress. He was asleep though, he looked as though he was fighting something away. Tony got closer and noticed the sweat on Loki's brow and the pained expression.

Tony knelt down, "Loki?"

Loki did nothing but writhe and moan in pain. There were tears threating to spill from his clenched eyes. Tony placed a hand on his forehead to find it unnaturally cold. Loki tried to get away from the touch.

"Thor," he started talking in his sleep, "p-please, h-help me," his voice was quiet, sad and pained.

Tony gently shook him. Loki instantly woke up with a gasp, his breathing coming in short and his heart rate through the roof. Tony just crouched, gently holding onto his shoulder and Loki grabbed his wrist as if it would help to ease himself.

"You just keep on having a hard time," Tony sighed.

Loki's breathing was slowly getting back to normal. His jaw shut tight and tendons taught trying to cope with whatever pain he was in. In the dark he looked sickly, all pale skin and sweat. Loki's body slowly started to relax, he eventually met Tony's concerned gaze and turned on his side, body facing the window trying to avoid any of Tony's scrutiny. Tony rolled his eyes to the back of Loki's head.

"Scoot over," Tony slid onto the mattress and under the sheets. Loki didn't need to move but Tony wanted to give him some fair warning.

"What are you doing?" came the quiet voice, hoarse from screaming in his sleep.

Tony lay on his back and turned his head to only see the back of his head he could smell that Loki had recently had a shower, he too had to get rid of the blood, "Just chilling, you know," he replied light heartedly.

Loki just sighed.

"It actually helps, you know," Tony added with more seriousness and Loki stayed silent, "Having nightmares, it helps if someone's around. Knowing you're not alone," cool Tony. Real cool, "But what do I know."

Loki still stayed silent. His hair was shining from the soft glow of the reactor and Tony just wanted to card his fingers through it. Hair like that shouldn't look so soft, damn it.

"Does it hurt?"

"What does?"

"Your head, because I know when I had flash backs and nightmares my head would hurt like a bitch," Tony rested his head on his hands and turned back to looking at the ceiling.

"Like white hot metal piercing skin," he stated calmly.

There was a long moment of silence and Tony thought the god had fallen asleep.

"Thank you," Loki's voice was soft and sad that held so much sincerity.

Tony just smiled and nodded off in a sleep free of his own nightmares.

xOx

Even with his eyes closed Tony could see morning. It wasn't the worst sleep he had, far from it. There weren't any caves or bags over heads in his dreams, there were no dreams at all. He slowly opened his eyes.

The rising sun glinted on the skyscrapers outside. He had managed to find his way onto his side and it seemed Loki had turned and faced Tony in his sleep. He was curled up, looking fairly familiar to that of a foetus position. The golden sun lit up Loki's skin giving the illusion that he had some sort of complexion other than paper white. The sun made the tips of Loki's hair look a dark brown rather than inky black. The god was still asleep and looked calm and peaceful. Maybe the crap about having someone nearby helped.

Loki looked peaceful.

Loki looked almost perfect.

Tony smiled at the memory of Loki's kiss, even if it was to determine what Tony was up to.

Loki slowly opened his eyes.

"Holy crap," Tony said in awe.

Loki blinked the tiredness from his eyes, "What?" he asked confused.

Tony was looking into the depths of Loki's questioning eyes, "Your eyes look amazing," because well, they did. Tony was in confused awe and looked thoughtfully at Loki.

The close proximity to Loki allowed for the best view of the unnatural colour. Far too green but almost blue at the same time. The colour reminded Tony of a bottle of absinthe sitting on a window ledge in the sun, a fitting analogy of a poisonous drink for a poisonous man. Tony could see the specks of gold that lay in those eyes. Loki was probably thinking him a mad man just staring at him.

Eventually Tony's eyes left the ones opposite to scan the rest of his face. No grown man, god, whatever, should have dimples like that. The bone structure was perfect, Tony wanted to ghost a finger over it to make sure it was real and the sun made the features seem softer. Eventually his eyes fell back to Loki's, still just as perfect as a moment ago.

"Sorry," he said noticing Loki's questioning look, "I just don't usually see people look that good in the morning. And I've seen a lot."

Loki's gaze softened as if his questioning one used too much effort and he looked far too tired again. Tony propped his head up on his hand and looked down at the god still lying on his side. Loki didn't move but looked up at him. He wondered whether Loki got any facial hair because in the weeks he's stayed at the tower, there had been none on the pale god's face.

Why was he having the urge to kiss him again? Maybe gods are addictive. For Tony the feeling was something else, to figure someone out and not throw them away.

"You know I really, _really_ want to kiss you again but I don't know how to go about that," Loki just looked at him with an unreadable expression, "And that's never happened to me before, so –"

Tony's ramblings were cut short by a soft press of lips to his. Loki's dimples going to full use as he smirked slightly at Tony's surprise.

"That was to shut your rambling," Loki pulled away and rested beck on his side, "And a thank you," he added in a quiet voice.

Tony licked his lips, "So I'm guessing there were no bad dreams since invading your quarters," he said the last part in a mocking posh accent but gave a smile to Loki.

"That's why I'm thanking you."

"Can you thank me again," Tony winked at Loki.

Loki just laid there with an eyebrow raised.

"Fine I'll thank you," he said with a smirk. Tony bent down and placed a kiss on the god's lips that was soft and slow. There were no surprised reactions.

"Why are you thanking me then?" Loki sighed.

Tony rested on his side again and looked at the god, "I have the same problem," he was really thankful that he didn't have to wake up in sweats from a nightmare.

Tony went to gently touch Loki's long pale neck but the god jerked back quickly before he could. Tony took his hand away quickly. The god swallowed thickly and looked panicked, eyes darting from Tony's hand to his face. It clicked that movements like that caused unpleasant memories to crash to the forefront of Loki's mind.

"Have you eaten recently?" he asked with a cautious smile trying to diffuse the situation.

"Not in a while."

"How longs a while?"

"A few months," Loki replied casually.

Tony's face fell, "How is that even possible?" he asked incredulously with wide eyes, "I'm guessing it's a god thing."

Loki just shrugged and Tony frowned.

"Come on we're getting food. How have – Just come, you need to eat," Tony quickly got up and held his hand out for Loki to grab. Loki batted it away and stood on his own still trying to keep some dignity.

"I'm surprised you're not dead!" he looked over the god's pale frame, "Come."

Loki followed Tony out of the room, concern still filling Tony's mind. He did realise that he never saw Loki eat anything while he was here. So the kitchen they went.

* * *

**A/N:** YAY that was crap. Reasons for lateness well, lots of things: constantly moving, failure, computer crashes, creative cockblock, self loathing and general ADD. I'm not sure how quick the next chapter will be up but don't hold your breath. I suffer from wicked writers block and I pull this out of my ass so there is no plan. JUST BE THE LEAF.

When the Iron Man 3 trailer comes out Tuesday, may god have mercy on our soul... and Tumblr staff who will have to deal with system malfunctions and crashes. Tony Stark's hair in IM3... that is all.

Many loves, yo! Stay awesome and if you want to see where I'm at go to **lokis-shark-and-tonys-detective **at Tumblr it's all nerdy goodness. Love you and I'm still asking myself why you people read this.

XOXO


	16. Scars Beneath a Mask

**A/N:** *apologises profusely* Very sorry for the lateness (PLEASE GO TO MY PROFILE TO SEE WHY AND AS TO WHY IN THE FUTURE). I hope the longer chapter makes up for it. I must say, now that Frostiron has been established (slightly) y'all think Loki's in the clear, ahahahah... no. I do realise this chapter is in a state of emotional flux.

**WARNINGS**: Reviewing on past things (i.e. self harm, forced suicide, blood (basically the video where Loki makes himself into a carved watermelon comes back)), Tony's relationship crisis (also Loki's), mentions of not so pleasant things (roofied food), Loki likes apples, Loki's face.

**Chapter 16: Scars Beneath a Mask**

* * *

The first night at Casa de Stark, as Stark liked to call it, was pleasant despite the gnawing knowledge that Loki was staying in the building. Steve did have a feeling that something was seriously wrong with Loki, other than the whole take over the world thing. From what he saw and from what Bruce had informed them, Loki needed help. Steve was still a little sceptical even though he did agree with Tony and his idea that they're good guys and need to help those in need of it.

He heard the eavesdropping of Clint and Natasha, they too were hard to believe Loki's problem.

When Steve went up to see Tony on his party deck or his penthouse he wasn't quite expecting the scene before him.

On the balcony overlooking the city, Tony and Loki sat on a newly acquired table and chairs. The table was a small rectangular piece of furniture and two chairs sat on opposite sides, both against the glass railing but facing each other. The city was just rising and the sun was golden, Loki was looking out over. His eyes held age, tiredness and an unbelievable amount of pain, in that moment Steve could tell he was eons old even if he didn't believe him a god. Despite the look in the god's eyes, his face was cold and closed off.

From the landing of the elevator Steve could see Tony talking to Loki, he looked almost pleading in the one-way conversation. Tony's eyes too held far more than he'd actually show, there was a sense of sadness a pleading sense of wanting to help and a hint of fear wether it was for what Loki might do or what he won't.

On the table a plate with assorted foods sat closer to Loki.

Steve was making his way down the steps and towards the landing. Tony still hadn't noticed him. From inside he could hear the conversation slightly, even though Tony was speaking in hushed tones.

"You can't just eat a couple of grapes," there was no answer from the god that looked statuesque in the sun, "For someone that doesn't eat you've done surprisingly well at not dying," Tony's brows were knitted together in concerned frustration. He put his elbow up on the table and rested his chin on it. He looked at Loki like a puppy, "Please."

Loki looked close to smiling as he looked to Tony in the corner of his eye. If Loki wasn't a crazy enemy of SHEILD (and the world), Steve may have asked if Loki could sit for him. Because despite everything else, Loki was the sort of person artists would draw and above all the things Steve had gone through, he was at the heart, a fine arts student.

Loki picked up a green apple and took a small bite. Tony gave a half smile at that.

But once Steve opened the door, without hesitation, Loki vanished like a ghost and the equilibrium of the landing was affected. Tony sighed and turned to look at Steve and he could tell Tony was tired.

"Hey Capsicle!" Tony gave a smile that even a five year old could tell was fake, "What's up?"

"Hey Tony. What was that about?" Steve pointed to the food.

"Hmm? Oh. Loki hadn't eaten in like, a few months, so I thought I'd try," the way he said it sounded so flippant but Steve could see the concern in his eyes, "At least he took the apple," a more genuine smile graced the engineers face.

"Why'd he just, _poof_," Steve made a disappearing gesture with his hand, "disappear?"

Tony rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't know. Maybe he doesn't wanna bother anyone," Tony shrugged, "What's up Steebe? You didn't just come out here to spy did you?"

"We want to know why?" Steve looked serious and whatever cheekiness Stark had on his face was starting to falter.

"Why, what, Mon Capitain?"

"Why you brought Loki here. What kind of idea was that?"

Tony didn't look angry, "Come, I'll show you" Tony got up out of the chair and walked past Steve and inside, "Get Lady Amazon and Bird Brain too."

xOx

Tony eventually got the whole group together. It had turned lunchtime and he hadn't heard anything of Loki, wether that was a bad thing only time could tell. The group sat by the TV, waiting. Bruce was the last to come in.

"So what are you showing us then?" Natasha crossed her arms and glared down Tony.

"Justification."

The group waited for the elaboration.

"Jarvis, roll the news reel," Tony made a directing gesture and the TV went on.

It showed the newsreel of the day Tony had discovered Loki hiding, essentially.

"I've been taking a keen interest of the news, as of late," he explained as he started pacing, "The weird ones you know?" everyone was looking at him now, "This one caught my eye," he pointed to the TV and everyone watched.

The TV played the report. The news anchor sat in the studio, "_An odd and gruesome occurrence today at 10 o'clock today," _the anchorwoman began again, _"That police are describing as a possible suicide pack. Two perpetrators –, " _the newsreel cut to grainy security footage in the bus of two men in drawn hoodies entering it, _" Entered a local New York City bus early this morning attempting to stick up a bus full of passengers and threatened multiple occupants," _the grainy footage cut back to the anchorwoman, _"One of the hooded perpetrators threatened a mother and child at knife point when he apologised and turned the knife on himself slitting his own throat the other one continued to do the same," _the next video shot was of body bags being wheeled into the back of an ambulance, _"What is also incredibly strange about the event was that none of the passengers remember the experience once they hastily exited the bus. Updates throughout the day… next up-"_ The video ended as Tony instructed it to.

"Yeah, what of it?" Clint was looking at the TV in confusion.

"I'm not sure whether SHEILD are blind or whether they have no interest in looking into the news but…" he paused for emphasis, "Play the footage from the bus' security camera, dear."

"Are you sure, sir?" Jarvis asked, it seemed his A.I. had some reservations about showing it.

"Play it," Tony was a little sterner.

The footage started to play.

"And put on the lip synching, please. Watch," he gestured for everyone to watch. Even Bruce hadn't seen it. This, he hoped, would at least allow for some light to be shed on the whole situation. Whether they'd believe Loki's story or not was a completely different thing.

The video continued to play now with the computerised voices. The bus was driving for all of two minutes before the culprits entered the bus. All was going smoothly, five minutes later the hooded men were holding up the bus, knifes in hand.

They started yelling and ordering people around holding them up at knifepoint. People were cowering and crying, then the criminal got to the little girl. Static interrupted the footage and everything went to hell from there. The two culprits cut their throats it was then that Tony glanced at the group, all grotesquely interested in what was happening. The bus driver pulled over in a panic and everyone got off in a hurry of fear and confusion.

The footage ended, everyone turned to Tony. All had varying degrees of confusion written on their faces.

"Didn't you see it!" he pointed to the screen, the group shrugged. "Jarvis, rewind for 40 seconds."

The footage started up again, "Pause," it paused as a hooded figure stopped before leaving the bus. Tony pointed to him; everyone seemed to freeze at the paused footage.

"Is that…?" Steve trailed off.

"That's Loki," Natasha's brows were furrowed in question.

"Bingo! Yahtzee! Is that your final answer? Our survey says, Loki!"

The group looked unimpressed.

"Suit yourself," he mumbled, "Just thought you might need a bit of cheering up since the next thing I need to show you has a few triggers," he added seriously.

"What do you mean?"

"Well before anything, I'll just let you know that Mister Mental Health was the one to do that," he gestured to the carnage on screen.

"Well that doesn't surprise me."

"It took me a while to find him afterwards," he continued ignoring Clint's comment, "And I think that fucked up Jarvis in the processes."

"What do you mean?" Natasha asked eyeing Tony carefully. It was unnerving how she watched him like a hawk. Even the bird boy himself didn't meticulously scan him as much as Natasha.

"I mean, when trying to find said mental patient, I had made a sort of prototype magic locator whatsit," Tony got technical, "It worked for the space of like thirty seconds, then shit went green, bright and shut down my whole tower."

"Once the power came back, Jarvis didn't seem so flash hot. Dum-E was quicker to boot back up."

"Who?"

"A robot in my lab, nothing major for you Steve. Dum-E is simple robotics and old tech, so it should've taken longer for him to re-boot," Tony was pacing the floor, "And ever since Loki has been here Jarvis has experienced some… glitches."

"Glitches, like what?" Clint asked.

"Not recoding certain things, recording brown noise, not running at usual par and forgetting Loki's here."

"Wait, so does that mean Loki can kill us in our sleep and no one would know until they find our bodies," Clint gripped at a gun holstered on his leg.

"Calm it pigeon, as far as I'm aware Loki is going to avoid you like the plague and I'm sure you are all thinking the same. Stars and Stripes can vouch for on that one," Tony turned to Steve who nodded slowly.

Clint didn't loosen up.

"As I was saying. I think Loki's affecting my shit. Which I don't like and currently in the process of fixing it," the frustration was evident in his voice, "I located him near the Hudson area and found him in an abandoned power plant. He was talking a whole bunch of gibberish and then he spazed and passed out," he added absently.

"Then I brought him here, ba da boom. Now I'll show you the next clip," he rushed. Tony didn't want to watch it again but he had to show them so they'd at least understand, "Jarvis, play it," he said grudgingly.

"Are you sure, sir?" the concern was back in the A.I.'s voice.

"Yes, Jarv. Please."

The workshop flashed on the screen. Loki was lying on the metal table completely still. The video got some interference and he swore he saw something blue on the table for a split second in between the static again like last time, and then it was back to normal. Eventually Loki got up, looking scared out of his mind, he scanned the room and eventually saw what Tony thought was himself off screen, again. Loki quickly looked around for anything that could be used to carve out his skin, and then he found the scalpel. His head started to twitch from side to side as if he was looking from one thing to another. His lips were moving as Loki was talking to himself.

"Jarvis, play the audio," Tony looked serious at the people on his couch. He stood behind them watching their reactions.

"Yes, sir."

"No," Came Loki's quiet yet raspy voice.

His head twitched to the left, "Have to. Disgusting. Get rid of it," This voice was quitter but angry and simpler. The group started looking unsure at the footage.

His head snapped back to the right, "No one wants it," His voice was sad, hopeless and full of despair, like a hurt child.

Again his head went to the left, "Skin is so cold no one will touch it," Tony tried to brace himself for what was to come but he knew all to well, even from just watching it once.

Loki grabbed the scalpel hard and started to dig into his skin, the blood already bleeding freely onto the metal and the ground. The group, like Tony, looked shocked and ill.

Clint tried to look away but Tony stopped him. He grabbed his hair and lent down to talk to him, forcing his head towards the TV, "You will watch it," he gritted out, "I watched it and you wanted answers so watch it and get your answers," he was sick of them not understanding, not understanding why Tony was helping. This was the visual answer because Loki was fucked in the head and it needed to be fixed as best Tony could or anyone who would help.

His head went back to the right, "If it goes then it won't be cold."

Loki stopped and then ran quickly to be behind the workbench. He continued his assault on his forearm as he sat down. He dug deeper and more blood gushed out, it seemed as if Loki didn't feel whatever he was doing. Clint gagged at the screen, Steve wasn't looking any better, Bruce wasn't looking (Tony let it go because he was the one on his side) and Natasha was studying the screen. He started sobbing into his lap but continued to carve into his skin viciously; he tried to scrub his face but only smeared blood. Eventually the large cut came full circle and he started clawing at the horizontal cut along his wrist, making it bleed even further.

"It has to go," He kept on saying as a mantra. Loki got his fingernail under the skin and started to yank at the flesh, bleeding even more. Tony knew that they could hear the sound of the skin, of the blood.

"I can't take this anymore," Clint gagged, nearly throwing up on the floor. He quickly detached himself from the couch and headed around the corner.

"I can't take this," Steve said quietly and stood to leave.

At Steve's back, Loki continued to tear and rip and the sinewy material of nerves and lower layers were seen as skin was being pulled off. Natasha's face was nearly unreadable.

Tony turned off the footage, "Now. Do I have to ask you if you understand now?"

"No. No we get it," Natasha was staring at the blank screen, "We'll avoid him."

"Good," Tony said almost threateningly, "No go check on your trigger happy birdman."

xOx

Everything was quiet from then on, though Clint still looked a little queasy. The day went and passed. Tony hoped that that little bit of information would help Loki's case, who knows. They understood which was all Tony wanted, even if they still questioned it.

The first half of the week after Tony did gory show and tell, there was no word from Loki. He had almost vanished from the tower. That was when Tony found out that Loki didn't carry a heat signature. Tony asked if there was any sign of the god, Jarvis informed him that he didn't have any heat coming off of him. The only time Jarvis could locate Loki was if he used magic and so far he hadn't used any recently. So Tony was freaking out, albeit on the inside. The fact that Jarvis couldn't locate him meant that the others would possibly freak out.

So Tony checked the tower by himself, the old fashioned way. He searched the tower, high and low. The sneaky little fuck was good at hiding that was for sure.

"Loki! Where the hell are you?" Tony asked one of the empty rooms. He checked all the places that the god had been then all the others. It was like Loki became a ghost.

Eventually Tony went to his lab, Bruce was there, as always.

"I think I lost him," Tony slumped in a chair and rested his chin on his hands.

"Lost who?" Bruce mumbled as he continued his work.

"Loki, I can't find him anywhere and he doesn't have a heat signature so it's almost impossible to find him," he stared into the distance as he thought of how to get the god out of hiding. Maybe he could smoke him out like a woodland creature or something. Lure him with candy.

"What?" Bruce seemed to be aware after that.

"What if he's dead, I don't want a dead god's body rotting somewhere in my tower. It lowers the face value," Tony was still thinking.

"I'm sure he's fine, just don't tell the others. They have enough problem with knowing his exact location."

"I'm way ahead of you on that one," Tony looked at Bruce now.

"He could be like a cat, might just pop out of nowhere when he likes. The fact that he doesn't have a heat signature is interesting." Bruce turned back to his work, "Even Thor had a heat signature."

"Maybe I'll lure him out or something," he mused.

"Good luck with that… and with what might I ask."

"Well apples have been going missing now and then… and grapes," Tony looked thoughtful, "And it's just the green ones. Which doesn't surprise me all that much."

"You're going to lure him out… with apples," Bruce looked sceptically over to Tony, "He is not a horse, Tony."

Far more than that, Tony thought. Definitely far more than that. He wasn't sure what Loki was to him.

"Hey, It's the best I got," Tony shrugged, "You got any better ideas because I'd really like some input. It's great having a mentally defective Norse god going rouge in my tower, it really is. Why don't we tell the whole group that the villain… is no where to be found!" Tony threw his arms up dramatically.

"Whoa, where'd this villain stuff come from?" Bruce crossed his arms and faced Tony full on.

Tony dropped his arms making them go slack and he dropped his head onto the table, hard. He was 1000% done with today and looked 1000% done, "That," he raised his index finger just above where his forehead hit the table, "Was a bad idea. Ow," he sat back up and rubbed his forehead, "Well everyone here seems to think he's up to something shifty. I know for fact he isn't but they don't," Tony gestured to the door he came from, "May as well go with it I guess," he shrugged again.

"I agree with you Tony. I don't think his up to something, he has too many things to deal with if he was."

"What if he's in the vents," Tony looked to the ceiling where the air vents were. His thoughts back to where Loki could be, "He is an alien so it kind of suits."

"Did you just compare Loki to an alien from… the 1986 movie '_Alien'_?" Bruce asked slowly and eyeing Tony.

"I think the nerd term is 'Xenomorph'," Tony used finger quotations. But the comparison wasn't completely wrong; both did well with black, dark areas, the villain thing and not to mention the whole 'no heat signature' thing.

"Don't tell me you're a nerd, Tony? Maybe you should change your title to 'genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist-nerd'," Bruce's grin was cheeky as hell.

"I'm cool, that instantly makes my nerd status void," Bruce was looking at him questioningly, "What, you have to admit it's a good movie and you look like the sort of person that plays Dungeons and Dragons," he pointed an accusatory finger at Bruce, "Don't you judge me, Dr Mary Jane."

"Whatever Tony," Bruce rolled his eyes at him.

"Ah, you didn't deny it. So you do play DnD _and _have a big bag of weed!"

"Weren't you looking for something?" Bruce said exasperated.

"Oh yeah, good call," Tony got up, "Gotta go on a hunt for the dastardly trickster. We're not done here, Mary Jane."

xOx

So Tony waited and waited… and waited.

He went up to the party deck to 'lure' him out. Up at the bar he left an apple all by itself. Even To a four year old it would look like a trap but at least if Loki took it, it would mean he wasn't dead.

Tony sat in the lounge facing the TV and watched whatever was on. Speaking of _Alien_, _Prometheus_ was on. That reminded him that he had to watch _Lawrence of Arabia_ again.

"_Big things have small beginnings," _David said to whatever black alien DNA stuff was on his finger.

Tony decided to check on the bar. The apple was gone and a neatly folded letter was in its place. He paused TiVo and got up to investigate. He hadn't heard Loki come or go, either he was a master assassin with light footsteps or he really was the phantom of Stark Tower.

He got to the bar and picked up the piece of paper. The writing on it was impeccable, all smooth lines and curls; it looked like Georgian era calligraphy and could've easily been mistaken for a Microsoft font. The beginning looked as if it were written in a different language until it was crossed out.

_I'm fine and I am not a cat.  
P.S. You need to buy more apples. Preferably green.  
Loki_

Why'd he even need to sign it? It's not like anybody else wrote like that, plus the fact that the apple was there for him. At least he wasn't dead. It was creepy that he heard the cat reference. And of course Loki wanted green apples. He was settling in after a month, which was a relief.

Now that Tony knew Loki wasn't dead he could start missing the dark haired god. He hated being the sentimental type but he wanted to kiss him again but contact with him led to explosive reactions. Just reaching out to him would make him recoil like he was going to be hit or worse. It wasn't a happy thought thinking of what could've happened to him and he was sure that if Loki thought of things like that he'd have another melt down.

Fear was now replaced with a sense of wanting something that wasn't there. Oh, he was in deep doo do now. He'd grown attached, that was bad. The sudden realisation of a warm feeling that had forced it way where his reactor was, he was going to forget about it and box it away in his head. But then images of Loki wakening up with the sun behind him and his eyes refracting so much light that they seemed impossible, the way he looked at the skyline with ancient eyes, these things made Tony's heart ache.

"God damn it!" he yelled to the empty room. He rubbed his hands over his face, "What's Pepper going to think?" he groaned into his hands, "Pepper," he said with fear and clarity as he took his hand away from his face, "Shit."

Well that was a whole new can of worms, right there. Him and Pepper were in a _complicated_ relationship to say the least. Still officially 'together' but every time Tony would nearly get himself killed by being Iron Man, she would freak, she just couldn't deal with it much longer. She was the only person that stayed though and to tell her he had 'feelings' for someone on the home team and a villain, Tony didn't how she'd react.

"Shit, shit, sh…" he trailed off as Steve came into the room.

"What's got you freaking out?"

"Oh, nothing," _just a life crisis is all_.

"We need more apples," Steve said as he looked at Tony suspiciously.

"So I've heard," he sighed, "Wait, why are you up here?"

"I was just checking on you actually."

"Well ain't you sweet."

Steve rolled his eyes, "I'm heading to the kitchen."

"You do that Stevie."

"Want anything?"

"Nope, I'm good," Tony said in a rush.

Tony waited for Steve to leave before he face palmed with the bar's countertop.

"Why does my life have to be so complicated?" he groaned.

xOx

Loki sat in the shadows, high in the roof, observing. He told himself he wasn't hiding… but merely using the spaces available. The solitariness allowed for Loki to keep his mind clear or as clear as it could be. Now that there were more people in the tower it was in his best interest to keep quiet and out of sight. So much had changed for him, from a proud and feared god to a creature with a broken mind.

Sometimes he would be so racked that all he felt he could do was cry but Stark was here now. A dim light in a black void, a less than shining beacon but a beacon none the less. Oh, Stark, with his forgiving and determination to fix something that couldn't be fixed. A vain, annoying creature that had forced its way into Loki's fucked up life. Still for some strange reason he wasn't fully trusting of the brown haired human but there was a little voice that would tell Loki to trust him no matter what. Inch by inch Loki wanted to grow closer to him but such a foolish notion made Loki laugh and then self-loathing kicked in again. The questions all were similar; who would care for a monster?

After the first idiotic attempt at Tony trying to lure him out like a common animal, Tony left out more apples. Loki enjoyed the apples. The apple here were a lot less sweet than the ones anywhere in the Nine Realms and as much as Loki had a small sweet tooth, there came a line. It was his favourite fruit anyway even in other realms, but Midgard's was far nicer to Loki's taste. The green helped, always one for favouritism. It was so long since Loki had food and food that wasn't drugged or tasted like the back end of a horse, the drugged food however tasted better but he knew what would come next.

At first he eyed the food Stark had set out on the table not sure whether Stark was playing some sort of game to drug him, but the sincerity in his eyes, Loki couldn't take. He took the apple though. He was so used to not eating that all he could do was eat half the apple without throwing up, the other half he saved for later. One apple a day did just fine for him anything more and his stomach wouldn't take it.

Loki's thoughts changed towards Stark slightly after the second apple was left out. The second apple was hidden and a note accompanied it, like the one he'd written to Stark to get him to stop fretting. Stark's writing was a lot less neat than Loki's.

_At least if you're going to take my food… show your face.  
I'd rather see you than not, I don't even care if you keep the silent treatment up. Just come out.  
P.S. I knew you'd find this.  
P.P.S. You'd be better company if you came out.  
Tony Stark (the charming mortal that doesn't want you dead in this tower (Banner too))_

Loki nearly smiled at the note, what a foolish little man. Loki took the apple and the note.

Loki sat in the ceiling of the gym where he'd used Lævateinn and told Stark of things he'd rather have kept secret. Stark knew more than he would've liked but it seemed to have only strengthened whatever insignificant bond they did have. Loki could see in his eyes, that whatever Stark said was truth. It infuriated him, he had to be lying about _something_. Then he kissed him. The mortal retch kissed him… but Loki liked it. Such affection he hadn't had in far too long. It took him by surprise at first and he thought it were a trick, a ploy. Loki took action and kissed him again but Stark kissed back, he didn't repel or run. Loki didn't know what to think but the knowledge of someone wanting to care for him made his heart warm slightly. Stark confused Loki and he tried to tell himself that the mortal was insignificant but even he couldn't believe that.

So he sat and observed. The whole week was observing the current occupants of the tower that would've liked to see him dead. He did so from a distance, still trying to avoid them. He was truly sorry for what he'd done (at least most of him) but the other Avengers were against him, as they should be. It didn't stop him from watching what they did, he didn't seek them out but they went to him, even if they didn't know it. They mostly went to the gym or stayed in the kitchen area. In the shadows he watched the brutish looking Captain America sketch whatever he felt like and saw how he looked at the city in awe whenever he was higher up in the tower. He watched as Barton would constantly look over his shoulder and would nearly always stay near Romanoff. The spider however was something interesting. Loki kept his eye on her, she was the cunning one and she seemed to look into the shadows as if she saw him.

"I know you're here."

Loki looked below him to see the Black Widow on the other side of the room. She couldn't see him with the shadows hiding him so well, but she knew he was there.

"You've been watching us," there wasn't any fear in her voice but something akin to annoyance.

"Still able to sneak up on me," Loki said quietly.

"Well it seems clear that I can," she stated matter of factly.

"Pride goeth before a fall," Loki eyed her critically, "I'm not surprised you were the first to… detect my presence."

"It was hard at first, I'd give you that," she looked to where Loki was sitting in the shadows above the gym, "But your eyes give you away."

Loki didn't care that he'd been found out, "That I already know."

"You're up to something I know it," she crossed her arms and looked at his eyes accusingly, "You're good, you're really good."

Loki didn't answer but stared back.

"You've got Tony right where you want him. I don't know what kind of game you're playing but I'll figure you out. That was some very good acting on your part to convince Tony you needed help," she pointed to the air.

"I've run out of games to play Romanoff and the games I did play, I lost," Loki stated simply, "I play no more games. I hurt no one, no more," Loki meant that, even if it did sound like a lie to everyone, no one believes the god of lies.

"Ha! Well what did you call that on the bus? That seemed to hurt someone. Two people to be exact," she accused.

"They deserved their fate!" Loki nearly yelled. What he did was justified.

"Are you saying they deserved to die for not even killing someone, while you don't?" she asked dumbfounded at Loki's statement, "You killed hundreds, if not more, are you saying you deserve to die?"

"Yes!" Loki called back, "And I wish to die again."

Natasha seemed taken back by that. Tony wasn't wrong when he said Loki was suicidal.

Loki dropped gracefully from the ceiling. Romanoff seemed to tense slightly at Loki's action. He was still cloaked in shadows. He walked closer to Romanoff, the lights flickering as he did so. His control was slipping again and he knew that he'd be properly seen, at least part of him. He eventually came out of the shadows and Natasha tried her best not to look shocked.

"I play no more games," Loki stated darkly.

One of his glamours had gone, slipped away like a mask, revealing Loki's usually mark free skin to be a marred face. It was covered in large gashes that looked aged; a vicious scar ran down his temple to the top of his lip, splitting it, a deep gash that forked from past his hairline, over his brow and down his cheek, there were deep, angry looking scars surrounding his lips that looked as if something was ripped from them and healed badly and there were scars closely resembling a Glasgow smile. There were many other smaller gashes and scars that still looked bad on different parts of the god's face. All the scars were healed but it made Loki look like a horror show. His skin was sickly pale and the bags under his eyes held a sickly red colour, making the eyes themselves look pale and dull. He stared at Natasha with fierce intensity, daring her to look at him. This was what the mask held beneath, that, in itself was a mask. Natasha looked wide-eyed at him. She eventually looked down further and could see a vicious looking wound along his neck and the beginning of scars along the top of his shoulders.

"There are no games," he added quietly.

Loki didn't care if someone knew he hid scars beneath his glamour. There was another glamour that hid worse. It was better to have someone know so that they could understand. Having Natasha know may have been for the best, the hardest to win over.

The glamour started returning back slowly as Loki made his way past Natasha, his skin going back to being un-marred, it was still a sickly pale colour, he still looked like a corpse. Loki left the room without further word. Natasha stood where she was confused and freaked, that was nothing she'd expected to see. She eventually turned looking for Loki.

Loki had vanished.

* * *

**MORE A/N:** SORRY FOR ANYTHING. Lævateinn is Loki's real sword in the mythology. I think that if Loki got fucked up in the face by some enchanted Asgardian weapons (which he did in this story), he'd have some marks. Loki hides that shit ok and scars are interesting. Reference for a proper Glasgow smile see Tommy Flanagan (actor). Yes this chapter is definitely in a state of flux. Oh crap Pepper. Tony is a nerd, he is also cool. Ok so I was watching _Prometheus_ for like the bazillionth time and thought I'd throw that shit in (David is so pretty just FYI). If you got _Bruce Almighty,_ 4 for you.

**NEXT CHAPTER WARNING:** The next chapter is going to feature Thor, it will be a chapter of the past. Shit is going to become real horror movie style there. It will be quite gorey, so I'm giving you some serious heads up (by gorey and horror movie, I mean Loki's gonna be holding his own heart, that kind of horror movie).

I love all of you who have reviewed and I love how **Shakespeare42** said that my fic makes others look like rainbows and unicorns (this pleases me)

Review and all that. Criticise me for all I care. I really love you guys, really, really.

Adios muchachas or muchachos. Lots of love. Till next time... whenever that'll happen.


	17. Dreams of the Dead and Wicked

**A/N: **Happy New year and I'm surprised you're still here reading this. I am dearly and truly sorry this is as late as it is. I've had family troubles. But now I have my own laptop, so YAY! Heads up, this is like an emotional roller coaster of a chapter; a massive angst fest and The Shining all rolled into one big ball of bad writing.

FINALLY HIT THE 50,000 MARK!

**Music for the chapter (just suggestions is all):**  
*_Night Without Stars,_ _Into Darkness _and_ Death in the Darkness_ - Skyrim Soundtrack. Trust me, I wrote those parts listening to that music and it fits.  
**_Sunrise on Lake Pontchartrain_ - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Soundtrack, _Under an Ancient Sun_ and _Dawn_ - Skyrim Soundtrack.

There are **some extra characters** in here and I've taken some major artistic liberties and shot mythology in the face, so shoot me if you will.  
The people I imagined in my mind for said characters are:

The Warden/Weedy Man/Torturer = Brad Dourif in Alien Resurrection (seedy little s.o.b)  
Oleg = Ray Winstone (sorry Ray Winstone)  
Sigyn = Milla Jovovich  
Angrboða (is a guy in this because of reasons) = Jared Padalecki

**WARNINGS**: Blood, lots and lots of blood, this some nasty stuff ok, **SERIOUSLY, completely ignore this chapter if you hate horror movies and pain**, it's all sick (I swear this is a horror movie in disguise), seediness, ANGST, Odin is the big bad wanker. I should just throw in all the TW. Ok you can kill me now, I'm a bad person.

_Remember: Asgard = Past_

**Chapter 17: Dreams of the Dead and Wicked**

* * *

Asgard was a city of magnificence, grandeur and beauty. A true sight to behold. The day was sunny and warm as Thor looked from his chambers. From high in the palace, Thor only saw the people as ants, but he knew them to be so much more. Further in the distance he saw the finishing repairs on the Bifrost and the wheat fields, it was the harvesting season, and so the people of Asgard were busy.

Thor had felt uncomfortable as of late and found sparring to help, something seemed to be continually itching at Thor's brain, something unsettling he couldn't quite put his finger on. His friends had been calling him paranoid and he eventually believed them, so he stopped his fretting to some degree. He saw… things, in the corners of his eyes, not quite there but Thor would turn anyway and find nothing. He didn't mention them to anyone however. When the things he saw started, some noticed his change, though slight as it was, Thor became more closed and some joked that he was turning down the path of the shamed bastard of Laufey, those who knew of the bastard's true parentage that is. Thor didn't like thinking of Loki like that, even if everyone did.

There was a gentle rapping at Thor's chamber door and he turned away from the slowly setting sun over Asgard. He walked across the floor of the large room, enjoying the freedom of not wearing his cape in the closed chambers.

"Coming friend!" Thor called somewhat cheerily as he reached the door.

He opened the large wooden door and his face fell. Loki stood there in his leather, all tattered and covered in blood and face a sickly, pale, expressionless mask. It was impossible, Odin told him that Loki was locked up, and '_as secure as the beasts he has spawned_' Odin had said. When Thor blinked, Loki had vanished like a ghost.

"Thor? Thor?" a hand waved in front of his face, "It looks like you've seen a ghost," Fandral's concerned face came into view.

"Nothing my friend," Thor tried to reassure, him just as much as anyone else, "Just thought I saw something."

"Come my friend," Fandral grabbed his shoulder so he would follow and ignoring Thor's lack of awareness, "The mercenaries have returned!" he said with cheer that nearly seemed put on, "They have won and we are celebrating."

"Splendid!" Thor clasped his friend's back as he followed.

The mercenaries were skilled fighters but Thor didn't trust them very much, none did. Odin hired them for the ability to fight, even if it was less than noble. Most of the mercenaries were scruffy and brutish men with low morals looking for money, they got the job done.

Thor turned to look down the other end of the large passageway. He thought he saw Loki again before he had vanished.

All the Asgardians sat in the giant dining halls of the palace. Odin sat at the head of his own table by himself overseeing the congregation of skilled warriors. Everyone was cheerful and celebratory at the news that the first squadron of mercenaries had been successful. The war with some of the Vanir that denied any affiliation with Asgard was coming to an end, slowly. It was now just a few skirmishes, best suited for the mercenaries and their dirty guerilla tactics. Everyone knew that the mercenaries were undesirables but none dared to question Odin.

"All-Father," a weedy looking little man, in his own right he was menacing, came up the Odin. He was the warden of the dungeons and overseer of… 'punishments'. He was a man that excelled in delivering pain to the condemned, a well suited skill for what Odin had in mind for certain prisoners.

"Have you news regarding the state of the little bastard?" Odin continued to watch over the halls occupants.

"Even though he is broken and lame, your majesty," the warden seemed unsure and nervous, "he seems to go through states of aggressiveness. Do you still wish us to break him physically to weed it out?" there seemed to be a dangerous and manic glint in his eyes.

"Hmm," the king hummed in thought, "Do that," Odin replied flippantly. The weedy little man seemed ecstatic, going by the glint in his eyes, "But do keep your joy for your duty," he added sternly, "What of his mind?" Odin asked after a few moments of silence.

"Oh, that has long since gone," the warden replied as if it was of little consequence. After a moment of silence he continued, "It also has come to my recent attention that the guards have been… entertaining themselves with the prisoner," the man was also known for ratting out people as well and by the looks of him, he knew it was going on for some time.

"And?" the king asked, seeming not to mind one bit.

"Just thought I should let you know," he smiled withal teeth.

"Continue"

With that the man left the hall with a curt nod.

Thor walked into the hall. He noticed that the hall wasn't filled with the mercenaries.

"Where are the mercenaries?" he asked Fandral.

"Their leader wanted to speak to the All-Father first, apparently," Fandral started, scouting out the rooms occupants, "The wenches are many this night Thor!" he said gleefully.

Thor frowned.

"Ah, yes. The Lady Jane, don't allow that to stop you from having a good night," he slapped him in the back.

Thor just huffed.

"Let us enjoy this night."

"What has Thor looking so glum?" Sif and the rest of the warriors made themselves known.

"How can he be glum? There is so much food to be enjoyed!" Vlostagg looked at the tables full of food hungrily.

"Not everyone can eat a whole boar Volstagg. No, he is missing his Lady Jane," he put a grim face jokingly.

Sif huffed and looked irritated, "Can we just eat? Volstagg is about to weep."

…

"Odin!" A gruff voice cut through the crowded room. None took notice of it.

An unsavoury looking man, in weather hardy and dirty looking clothes and armour, made his way to the All-Father.

"You 'ave words?" he asked shortly as he finished stomping to Odin's side. His voice was fitting of his face; he had battle scars on his brow that led down over his milky eye and onto his cheek. A vulgar looking man.

"Yes, Oleg," Odin stood, ignoring the man's rudeness, "I could have you executed," he added as he made his way out of the hall, no one noticing him leaving, Oleg close behind.

"Aye, but you ain't gonna do that, are ya?" he replied gruffly, "You need me, oh mighty King," the man mocked a bow.

Odin huffed looking slightly murderous and continued on his way. Each guard they encountered fell to their knees in a bow.

"Open," Two guards by an old door stood away and opened it.

Inside was an impressive war room, trophies of all kinds littered the wall and a fireplace roared in the corner. In the middle of the room was a large, heavy stone table with piles of maps laying on top.

"Where's the next problem spot then, your 'ighness?" he crossed his arms, looking bored with the situation.

"The low lying valleys of Asgard," Odin pointed to the location on his map, "A large group of Vanir have managed to make their way into the realm eternal. Ever since the bridge has been broken, people have been learning how to travel between worlds without the Bifrost, even without magic. That must be stopped," he added sternly.

"Certainly there, sir. What 'bout payment then?"

"Like always, Oleg," he replied packing up the maps.

"I want this past one's payment."

Odin went to a large wooden chest and pulled out a small bag, throwing it on the table in front of Oleg.

"50,000 all accounted for."

"Oh, I know it's all there. So much money you 'ave, sir," he looked greedily to the bag, "But I want something different."

"Is that so," Odin sat in a chair that seemed as old as him, "I usually don't make deals with warlords and rebels. You should be grateful I'm seeking your help."

"Now come, come, All-Father. Since last we met, I heard you acquired an old relic you had for so long and lost."

Odin said nothing, only looking at Oleg questioningly.

Oleg bent in, as if telling a secret, "the bastard son of Laufey."

There was a slight twitch in Odin's one eye.

"Not many know he's the child of Laufey, do they? Such secrets you 'ave."

"What are you asking?" even inside Odin's voice was loud and commanding.

"I want him," he replied with all seriousness, "That little shit of yours made me 'alf blind. I wanna dish my own punishments, if that's alright with his majesty," his grin was all malice and teeth; "Nights in those there valleys can be awful cold and lonely too," his look was all but innocent.

"That's a high price you ask, Oleg," Odin stood sharply, making the mercenary flinch.

"How's 'bout this, you give me the boy and the next job is on the house," he gave a wink to the king.

Odin seemed to think about it for a few moments, "Have him," he said eventually, "He is of no use to me. He only causes me strife. One condition: this job is to be discreet."

"Yeah, yeah, quiets like, gotcha. You've gotten quiet cruel in your old age. Let me see what my payment is."

…

As the night progressed, everyone was merry and even Thor forgot about his troubles. But it was soon over, many going to their chambers for slumber and some, like Fandral, found the company of a warm body. Thor had noticed Odin wasn't there at the end.

*Thor said farewell to his friends and made for his chambers. As soon as he got into the large room, he lay on the bed and closed his eyes.

"Thor"

He opened his eyes at his name being whispered, "Hello?" he called as he looked around the room, "Who goes there?"

The room was dark and cold, colder than normal. A biting chill was in the air that left Thor's breath ghosting in the air. The shadows in the room were sharp and menacing. Something wasn't sitting well with the eldest prince.

"Thor," the voice was still a whisper but seemed to echo from everywhere.

"Who goes there?" Thor yelled, "These are royal chambers!" he called in anger.

"Thor," it was still a haunted whisper, "Help me—," the voice was pained but cut off and returned to the monotone quiet, "What's the matter Thor?"

Thor tried to turn to the voice that seemed so familiar but no one was there.

"What's the matter Thor?"

There was child's laughter coming from somewhere and nowhere, "Do the Frost Giants still live?" the voice was younger and still familiar.

"What's the matter?" the older voice cut in.

"L-Loki?" Thor stuttered.

"Did you mourn?—I only wanted to be your equal— Help me—I never wanted the throne—Help me—Help me, Thor—I could have done it, for you!"

"Stop this!" Thor shouted as old memories and old hurts rushed to his mind, "Stop your tricks!" he placed his hands over his ears to stop the haunted whispers. He should not be here.

"I'm the monster—Help me—Odin took them and you let him—Help me," the voice was in his head.

Every possible word Loki had ever said to him echoed in the room and in his head, the rush of words making Thor dizzy. Wind started blowing things around in his chambers, everything getting louder and louder.

"Sentiment—Help me—Such a fool—You are not my brother!—Help me—"

Everything cut off, the wind dying down, Loki's taunting voice stopped abruptly.

The door to Thor's chambers opened of their own accord. It couldn't have been wind, the doors were heavy oak. Giggling could be heard in the hallway, of a child playing, maybe the same child. Thor went to the door hesitantly, his legs unsure of their short journey, he wanted to stay but he couldn't. He grabbed the door and opened them ever so slightly. The passageway of the palace was all but empty; no guards were on duty, no maidens going to do their mistresses biding, nobody. The only sound was the small flickering of flames as they lit the walls.

He heard the giggling again, closer. Looking up the hallway he saw a small black haired child running out of his sight. The child seemed familiar but he couldn't place where he'd seen him.

"Wait!" Thor called, making his way to the junction of the passageway where he saw the child.

Again, he saw nothing.

"Come on Thor!" he heard, he looked up again, seeing a young Loki, beckoning for him to come. To play.

As Thor started towards him with a baffled and shocked face, the boy ran off. Thor followed. As he turned the corner he saw Loki, older Loki, Loki from before Jotunheim, holding hands with his child self.

"Come on Thor," the older Loki smiled at him and walked on, holding child Loki's hand.

"Loki! What is this madness?" Thor shouted at his retreating back, "This cannot be real!"

Thor still followed when there was no answer, the hallways getting darker and more unfamiliar as he continued. Everything was getting colder again.

The next corner he rounded, There was a trail of blood, the smell so real, and Loki, from after the battle on Midgard. He stood there in the pool of blood, looking so serene but his body looked so broken in torn leather.

"Come on Thor," he gracefully walked into a room he'd seen before but couldn't remember, brushing his hands along the wall, smearing blood.

Thor followed. It was the library, an eerie version of it he'd never seen.

"Hello?" he called to the large and empty room, his voice reverberating off every surface.

There was no one there. So many tomes covered in dust, so many bookshelves lining each other, as if none had touched them in years. Just like the halls, the giant room was barely lit. It was an old memory. He'd remember Loki, this was Loki's favourite place, he said it was quiet, calming, he could learn and he did. According to Loki, all the wonders of the Nine Realms could be found in these old tomes, if only one would look hard enough, if only they had the patience for knowledge. Thor had laughed and so did his friends. Loki never spoke of the library again, back then it was a joyous occasion, now, now it only shows how much Thor had neglected Loki. Loki was so eager to learn but Thor would try and drag him to trainings, back then Loki was so much more passive, so much kinder. If only.

There was laughter again. A child ran across the aisle and out of sight, Loki again.

"Loki, please!" Thor pleaded, "_BROTHER_!"

Everything went dark, Thor could see nothing. All the shelves seemed miles away, everything far out of reach. The sound of nothing was deafening, there was shouting but silence all at the same time.

"Thor," came the whisper again, this time it was pained and hoarse.

Loki seemed to be in the shadows, if darkness could create shadows. He was in front of him, his eyes seeming to glow in the dark, like a foolish fire . He thought he saw long hair, sharp angles and blood, so much blood. An animal of a former god, something crazed.

"Loki…?" he tried to reach out to him but Loki was barely in reach.

He came out of the shadows into a light that wasn't there before. He was younger, his features softer, his hair shorter. He stood there with an unreadable expression and slowly brought a long finger to his lips to silence Thor. Thor stood looking dumbfounded; this whole experience didn't seem real and was one of the only things that had scared him since stories of frost giants. Loki turned around slowly, his armour, the leather one, made him look thinner, not like the one on Midgard. The armour on Midgard reminded Thor of a cobra, it made him look bigger as if it were the hood of a snake, it made him look angered, it made him look like a true god of chaos. A small blue flame materialised in hand and hovered by his face, illuminating the way forward and he slowly walked forward, when Thor didn't follow he turned his head, gesturing for him to do so. Loki's hands brushed against the books as if the touch of worn leather was soothing.

"Where are you taking me?" Thor whispered to his brother, whether he was real or not, only time would tell. He couldn't be.

Loki kept walking. Kept brushing his fingers along the books, his fingers taking the dust with them.

The sound of falling tomes made Thor jump and turn around. Nothing was there, only never ending darkness.

"I never liked the library, Loki," he said to where he turned to, absently.

He turned again to face Loki but everything seemed to stop. In front of him was his brother, older looking and with longer hair; all he wore was a pair of tattered leather pants. His mouth made Thor's eyes go wide and he could feel himself go pale, Loki's lips were torn and his mouth had been ripped open by such a force that tore open the skin on his cheeks, blood oozing freely from every open scar on his face.

"This is what Odin has done," Loki's voice was gurgled by the blood in his mouth, each word spiting it over his chin and on to the floor. He stepped closer and held out something to Thor, something dripping blood, something moving.

Thor stepped back in a rush of fear and horror. He tried not looking into Loki's piercingly dead, green eyes that seemed to bore into Thor's soul and leave an ever growing black mark.

"L-Loki…"

"This is what he's done," the voice was angry and pained.

The bleeding, moving thing in his hand was shown more clearly. Each beat of movement made Thor pale more. A heart. Loki's heart. When he looked he saw the slowly forming scar making its way down his body like an invisible knife piercing his skin, from the bottom of Loki's neck, right down to the naval. As each second passed, the scar got deeper and Loki moved closer, Thor stepped further back and blood started its way out of the ever growing scar.

Fear grew on Thor's face. Fear and despair.

"I have no heart," Loki slowly crushed the organ in his hand. The squelching sounds making Thor want to throw up.

"Stop this," Thor was scared and shocked. Such a powerful god, reduced to a scared child, the fear of seeing his little brother in such a way. A nightmare.

With the organ crushed in his hand, Loki dropped it carelessly to the floor, falling in an ever growing pool of blood that seemed to follow the god. Loki looked him dead in the eye, silent tears rolling down the younger's face. He slowly brought long thin fingers up to where the scar was on his chest, the cut now was far too deep for anything mortal to live through. He dug his fingers into the wound, making blood run down his arm; he brought his other hand up and did the same. Loki still stared at Thor, no pain written on the unnaturally pale face. The elder god tried to look away, tried to close his eyes but to no avail. Tears started welling up as he continued to watch in a horrified daze, stuck to where he stood.

Loki's hands went in deeper and the sound of cracking bones could be heard when his hands disappeared in his own flesh. Each crack made Thor wince and shake ever so slightly. All the while the younger kept his face an impassive, unfeeling mask. Thor watched as the muscles in his brother's arms contracted with the effort of pulling. Slowly his ribs were being pulled outward, forced, Thor wanted to vomit but something kept him from doing so, the same thing keeping him from moving.

There was a deafening snap that echoed throughout the empty library.

There was no more force on the bone; Loki dropped his hands to his side, blood running from his fingers. His chest left open to see. Thor was crying and dry retching on the spot, he eventually fell to the floor. On his knees he continued to sob.

"Stop this," his own voice was hardly a whisper, "Stop."

The force that seemed to hold him in place, lifted and he dropped his head down in fear and exhaustion.

He looked up again, Loki was gone, and there was no offending odour of blood. There was a small, but animalistic, growl from behind him that made the hairs on his back stand. He turned his head slowly in hopes that whatever it was didn't react to fast movement.

The shadows were still there but so was something else. In the blink of an eye there was a flourish of sharp teeth, blue skin, horns and eyes as red as the pits of Muspelheim and skin as cold as the winters of Jotunheim, it was no animal.

(_end music_)

Thor woke, gasping for air and heaving. He was drenched with sweat but he couldn't remember why and he couldn't remember why he couldn't breathe. He knew that it was a bad dream but he couldn't remember what, it was meant to be important somehow.

xOx

**The field was peaceful as he lay on his back, staring at the light seeping through the leaves of an oak tree and watching as they danced in the light gusts of wind. He took a deep breath of spring air, he could smell roses and lavender, it smelt of something, of someone he remembers but can't. Whatever it was it didn't matter, not as he was lying on his back enjoying the rays of sun. Everything was peaceful. Nothing seemed wrong, everything seemed right. Something in the back of his mind told him it was all a farce, he didn't listen; he only listened to the sound of wind through the trees.

He relaxed some more, his mind feeling lighter, feeling free .He let a smile grace his lips, a gesture that seemed so foreign to him and the muscles on his face.

Everything was so bright.

"Daddy!" The voice had so much glee. He hadn't been named that for so long, he can hardly remember being called that at all.

"Dad!" another voice came.

This time Loki sat up. Nothing seemed to hurt.

In the distance he saw Sleipnir galloping happily, playing with Jörmungandr and Fenrir, with Hela on his back. Vali and Nari running towards him with Sigyn and Angrboða following close behind, the smile on his face grew as he let his arms come open to embrace his children.

All of the others started to rush over. Eventually they all clambered atop of him each wanting to embrace their father.

"One at a time!" he laughed.

"We've been waiting father!" Vali said.

Fenrir put his large head in Loki's lap and whined his agreement, looking all the more like a sad puppy, a puppy that Loki has missed for so long.

"We've missed you," Nari added quietly, keeping his head down.

"My child," Loki reached out to brush the tear from his youngest' cheek, "Do not cry," he said lovingly, "I have missed you more than you care to imagine," he looked deep into his child's blue eyes, "All of you!" he added looking to all his children, "Come here!"

All his children piled on him again. He cried tears of joy and not the ones of hurt he had shed so often.

He sat against the trunk of the tree and watched as all his children played with each other in the field. Sleipnir had no saddle, had no reins to keep him in place. He was now free to gallop as fast as he could. Fenrir had no scars, no forged chains attaching him to a life of false imprisonment. Now his black fur was clean and his beautiful burning golden eyes were happy. Jörmungandr wasn't exiled; he didn't need to swim in the oceans of Midgard. Now he slithered through fields happily and hid within the trees surrounding it. Hela needn't be around the dead for her to be welcomed; she could play and be a child again. Vali and Nari played with his other children, very much alive and all getting along. None of them were being judged for what or who they were.

Loki looked on, nearly on the verge of tears again. He smiled. The scene seemed familiar and foreign. There was something wrong, everything was too perfect. Nothing in Loki's life was perfect.

"You over think things," came Sigyn's sweet and eloquent voice, her brown hair flowing elegantly in the wind and her white dress following suit. How someone as beautiful as her could've fallen in love with him was a mystery.

He looked to her. Her icy blue eyes were warm looking at him and a sad smile gracing her lips.

"Why did you fall in love with me?" he mimicked her own sad smile, "So many others, so many others that were better looking, so many others that were stronger, so many—"

She cut off his words with a finger to his lips, "Because you are you, Loki. My Loki," she brushed her hand down his face lovingly. His green eyes looking at her so intently, "I fell in love with you because you were you. You lied but you showed more truth than anyone could ever hope to," she was imploring and her face showed no lies, "You made me laugh, Loki. You made me forget how boring palace life was," she smiled genuinely.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head to her bosom. He closed his eyes and listened to her heart beat, giving him comfort. She started carding her fingers through his inky hair. There came soft sobs from Loki, making Sigyn's dress wet.

"What is the matter?" her voice was kind.

"I never want to let go," his voice was quiet, "It all seems as if everything will just disappear."

She kissed him on his forehead, "I wish I could help you but I can't. Be happy in this moment."

She sat down next to Loki and held his hand. Loki brought it to his lips, her skin so soft and perfect.

"Angrboða would've made a good husband," she said after a few moments of peaceful quiet, as she looked over the field.

Angrboða was playing with all the children. He was kind, he had a kind face, the face of his mother, a light elf and the rest was clearly that of a frost giant, from his father. At first Loki just thought Angrboða a dark elf, he had dark skin, pointed ears, brown eyes and he was just a bit taller than Loki. He was too kind to be a frost giant, too compassionate, too warm.

"He would've," Loki agreed, "If people would've accepted him," he added solemnly.

"You did and that's all that matters," Loki rested his head on her shoulder.

"It made no difference, he still died… you still died," that's when everything clicked. He knew something was off. Everyone here was either dead or gone. But what was Loki, was he dead?

"You could not have changed that. You loved him and that's all that matters."

"As much as you wish it, some things are fate," Angrboða came up to the tree. Somehow Loki accepted the half Jotun, something even Angrboða was sceptical about. But Loki loved him just as much as he did Loki, "You love too much, Loki and that's what hurt you the most," he gave a sad smile and sat next to Loki.

Loki just huffed.

"You used to love," Sigyn added.

"Our children are the most beautiful things; you can still love them," Angrboða bumped his shoulder lovingly, "If you can accept them, then others should too. If they don't, then damn them to Niflheim!"

Loki turned to him, gaze soft and smiled.

"We both love you Loki."

Loki huffed again, "I make a good widow," he said to the ground.

"You make a better father and don't let others tell you differently!" Sigyn told him sternly.

"Go, be with them," Angrboða ushered him forward.

Loki just smiled and ran to the field. Fenrir stopped in his tracks and howled in the air, in joy. Loki copied his son's action, howling to the sky.

It was hours later, it seemed like hours later, the sun was setting. He'd ridden on Sleipnir as fast as his son could go. He'd played hide and seek, Jörmungandr's favourite game despite his size, he was so easy to find but Loki played along. He had his hair braided by Hela; she seemed to grow more beautiful every time he saw her. He play fought with Fenrir, making it hard for the wolf to get him. He'd played tag with Vali and Nari, letting them win. He'd kissed Angrboða as if he was the only thing in the world and kissed Sigyn as if she was the last.

Everything was perfect.

They all sat underneath the giant tree. Loki, Sigyn and Angrboða in between Sleipnir and Fenrir, Vali, Nari and Hela in his lap and Jörmungandr coiling around them all so many times they lost count.

The peace had to end sometime.

Sigyn and Angrboða stood up suddenly. There was a pain in Loki's chest that was more than heart ache.

"Where are you going?"

"We have to leave you Loki," a sharp pain shot through his body.

"What?"

"Be strong my love," Sigyn bent down and kissed him on the forehead.

"What?"

"You have to wake up soon," Angrboða did the same.

"Don't leave me," Loki shot up to try and grab a hold of the two loves of his life, "Not again!" his hand only went through them like they were ghosts. They were ghosts, ghosts of a happier time that never happened.

"Be strong Loki. We will see you again." Sigyn cupped his cheek.

His children were leaving, waving at him as they started going to the clearing.

"NO!" Loki shouted as he watched them leave again.

The pain shot through him again, this time making him scream out.

"Be strong Loki," they both said in unison.

"It will soon be over, you'll see," Sigyn's voice was calm, it nearly soothed the heartbeat he could hear in his head.

(_end music_)

Loki screamed again until his voice was hoarse. He screamed in pain and loss. Everything was starting to get dark. The light of all the happiness was slowly turning into pain and darkness.

He could hear his name being said with a muffled voice.

"Loki?"

Everything was searing pain. All he wanted to do was scream but it felt like his throat was ripped out.

"Loki," the voice was a sickly sing song, "You died, Loki."

He didn't want to open his eyes. He wanted to crawl away and hide. He wanted death to find him and keep him.

"When you die, I can't hurt you anymore and I want to hurt you some more," the voice came closer to him, Loki jerked away from it with subconscious fear.

He was on a hard surface. He remembers a table, a table that had horrible things done on it. He remembers a cell, more like a cave; his blood painting the rocky walls. Was it all just a nightmare or was the nightmare real. Was he in the cave. He remembers now, guards forcing themselves on him.

"We've seen so much of you," a hand came to grip his jaw tightly, scars that littered his battered face, burned at the touch, he could feel the barely healed scars on his cheeks bleed. This time he opened his eyes, looking lazily at the man that had become his torturer, "The inside of you, stripping every single part, taking away your brood; your brain, taking it apart. For someone that hides behind masks, you sure can show pain. We have seen who you truly are, closest to death, all things show who they truly are and you are weak. And we have yet to finish extracting our pound of flesh," there was a manic smile that Loki had seen many times in front of a mirror.

He could feel, everything hurt and everything was wrong, nothing was in its right place. The inside was all wrong. His mind was all wrong. He slumped and gave up even thinking and just stared numbly at nothing like a corpse. Loki was scarred, so many cuts by so many blades. He'd been opened, studied and for what? Was this his life now, only pain and scars, scars that will never heal, scars that would mark him, to remind him that he was broken? There was something missing, something that was there before but wasn't anymore.

An uncontrollable and manic laugh escaped Loki's chest, an action that caused some of the scars to reopen, "You're all going to die," this wasn't Loki, this was anger and pain and fear and madness.

"Is this right Ergi? You've threatened us before, before we carved you out."

The laugh came again, Loki still distant.

"We're going to kill them," he whispered to himself, "We will and then he will know pain," there was another laugh.

His face went slack again, "Thor will come," he whispered pathetically, "Help me, Thor."

"No, he won't," the weedy man replied cruelly, "He'd happily watch you in pain, same goes for the All-Father," he came right in front of Loki's face, looking at him as if he was cutting him open purely with his mind. "No one will come and help you."

Loki stared at nothing again, numb to the world.

There was a knock at the cell door.

"What is it?" his torturer called, pulling out knives for whatever punishment he had in mind next.

"The All-Father wishes to see the prisoner. We're here to take him," he said from behind the door.

"Damn it… fine," he sighed and made his way to the door.

Loki could hear the heavy iron doors, unlock and open and the sound of armoured boots. The next thing Loki knew, he was being cuffed and unstrapped from the cold, hard table. Then made him stand, his legs just managing to keep him up. How long had they not been used?

The guard waved a hand in front of Loki; there was no recognition on the god's face, only a numb expression that left him staring at the floor.

"You did quite the job," the guard seemed impressed.

There was only a disturbing grin from the other man.

Loki was merely a body; his brain was no longer helping do anything except trudging up the hallway, being led by the guard like a dog. He was a husk of his former self. All he had to wear was peasant's clothes, itchy fabric he'd gotten used to or he just didn't care. It was only recently he'd given up on anything and everything; it might have been around the fourth time they'd killed him, now he'd just lost count, why couldn't they leave him to die but that's what he wanted and he never got what he wanted; it might have been the second time he was forced to look upon Yggdrasil, an endless stream of knowledge that coalesced into something unintelligible, darkness that stripped the brain away like acid, every fear, every sort of pain that drove him mad and lame. It made his magic unpredictable and weak, it made _him_ weak, it made him hurt, it made him confused. There was still something there though, something deep down that made him lash out, some part of him still protecting the husk. It talked to him, all the parts of his disjointed personality, spoke to him when needed, when he was lonely.

A short period of time passed and he was now in Odin's war room, a gaudy relic from long ago. A relic.

Loki stood there staring at nothing, he could hear voices but they were all muffled and confusing. Odin wasn't the only one that was there.

"Is this the former prince of Asgard?"

Odin didn't answer.

Loki stood there, subconsciously holding his stomach as best he could while cuffed. Something seemed missing. Something he had before.

"I guess now 'is the prince of Jotunheim. You've done quite a number on him. He looks like a road map!" he came closer to Loki and lifted up his arm without any resistance, looking at all the scars that littered the pale skin, "He ain't all there," the gruff man came into Loki's view, waving a hand. Loki's reaction was the answer to his question.

He grabbed his face, moving it left and right, inspecting him like a slave. Loki's face was battered and bruised, he'd been beaten so many times, and it was nearly hard to distinguish between his face and the purple, blue marks that littered it. He brushed each scar on his face with a calloused finger and pressed into some of the many blemishes.

"His a bit banged up, not gonna put up much of a fight," he slapped him across the face, hard, and nothing, it only made some of the scars bleed again, Loki did nothing, "Shame. I do like it when they put up a fight. I'm sure the boys'll 'ave fun."

"So we have a deal?" Odin seemed bored with the proceedings, handing him off like rotten meat.

Maybe it would for the best, going by how this other man was speaking, he wouldn't.

_Odin will die_, the darker part of his brain whispered. _Watch the light fade from his eye_, it whispered again. _He will know pain—_

Odin slapped him hard across the face, "Good, take him, he's no more than a stain in the palace," his face was so filled with disgust that it nearly made him wince. Odin used to show some semblance of love towards him. Was it love? Something had happened to Odin, to make him hate so much. Maybe it _was_ Loki who'd caused it.

It was always Loki.

* * *

**END A/N**: Ok. I'm a really, really bad person and I'm sorry. Odin will die, I'll give you that. I've made him too much of a sadistic viking king for him to live. He hates Loki. End.  
So all up it was angst and pain. I was watching _Law Abiding Citizen_ before most of this and you can guess which scene I had in my head. I also made Sigyn and Angrboða be dead because of angst.  
This chapter was going to have soooo much in it so I made it as is. Next chapter, still in Asgard, still past. If any of you got the _Firefly_ reference, have a cookie.

_To everyone still reading and people reviewing: I love you so much rn. And to **RubyCobweb**: Let me love you and hug you virtually! Thank you for noticing the first aid thing and I'm surprised to say you're right, I haven't seen anyone do that, I thought it was general knowledge._

For anyone hoping for smut soon... that may be hard seeing as Loki is far from recovered for any of the nasty "forcing". I am sorry if that's what you've been hoping.

I think that's it. See ya when I see ya. Read and review, STAY AWESOME!


	18. Silenced With Violence

**A/N**: I'm am truly sorry, I wanted this up MUCH faster but I, uh, have the attention span of a magpie and the procrastination abilities of Da Vinci, ya' feel me? I'm sorry for everything the chapter contains and I warn you, it no good, if you trigger easily, it's probably best you back away slowly. Also this chapter was going to be like 15 - 20k words or something, so I split into 3 separate ones.

**WARNINGS**: RAPE, GANG RAPE and torture

**Chapter 18: Silenced With Violence**

* * *

_Come l'altre verrem per nostre spoglie,  
ma non però ch'alcuna sen rivesta,  
chè non è giusto aver ciò ch'om si toglie,  
qui le trascineremo, e per la mesta,  
selva saranno I nostri corpi appesi,  
ciascuno al prun de l'ombra sua molesta._

_Avarice, hanging, self-destruction._

_Io fei gibetto a me de le mie case_

_Make my own home… be my gallows_

Let my Home be My Gallows – Hannibal

* * *

The first thing that could be smelled was the mead, stale mead. It was a foul, pungent odour. After Odin had finished his deal, Loki was dragged away by the gruff, foul mercenary, him on his horse and Loki being dragged behind like cattle. The way he looked at Loki meant that it was going to be no better than the cell he had occupied, for however long he was in that cell, Loki didn't know. Loki could've been in that cell for weeks or millennia, it felt like millennia, he thought. Hopes gained and hopes lost in that cell, there was only darkness, putrid in its existence; in the past, now, and inevitably, the future. They had left the palace grounds and he was glad to be as far away from it as possible but every step further meant the further he was away from help, from Thor, even now he held onto the hope that Thor would come, that the golden god would come and save him. He still held on to a childish hope.

_Forget Thor,_ his mind whispered and somehow he could hear the whispering over the screaming, clawing and pain in his head, _he is not coming. He wanted this to happen. He wanted you to feel pain. He knew._

He walked with his head down turned to the ground; with his beaten body and scraggly clothes, anyone to pass would think him a slave and nothing more. "He knew," he whispered to himself in broken agreement, "He is not coming."

The darker parts of his brain, an overwhelming part, told him no one would come, that his salvation and damnation would be from his death. He revelled in the fact that he may die and all his ghosts would vanish with him, but he was still alive, he had no such luck.

It seemed that the caravans of mercenaries tented just beyond the palace. It was slowly getting darker and darker, the clothes that he had on didn't much keep him safe from the bad weather that he could smell coming. He heard loud gruff voices and saw a camp fire; he could smell the cooking of meat on the open flame. It made him hungry and sick all at the same time.

"Time to pack up boys!" the leader shouted, "We's is headin' out tomorrow!" he got off of his horse.

He pushed Loki to the ground, with no resistance from the god. There were a few tense moments of silence all around. Loki didn't bother moving his head or any other part of his body, it hurt to do so.

"What's with this then, Oleg?" he heard a shuffle of feet and a foot nudging at his side, "He's dead."

_Come on Loki,_ the darker part of his mind whispered, _Make them fear you, like you wanted so long ago._

"He's here for… fun," he could hear the dangerous smile and the implications the word had. He did nothing but inwardly cringe.

_Come on Loki._

"Why you bring us a slave for fun?" the other gruff one asked, "And damaged one at that. He looks like he's gone a few rounds with a bilgesnipe… and lost!" he sounded incredulous.

"He ain't no slave," Oleg came and flipped him on his back, hair falling out of his expressionless face, "This here's the Liesmith, boys. I'm sure some of ya have had runnings in with him."

The one that nudged Loki in the side backed away real quick, "Oleg, you are going to get us all killed!"

"Shut it ya twat," he smacked the other upside his head, "Our gracious king has given him to me," he bent down into Loki's view and grabbed his face in a meaty hand, "See, you little shit, daddy ain't so proud of ya now, aye? You've made a lot of dangerous people mad," he pulled a bowie knife from the side of his boot, "me for instance. Your pranks have gotten me in some hot water," he brought the knife close to Loki's face but there was no recognition of fear in the god's expression, he just stared numbly at nothing, "It's a good thing you is as pliant as you is," his voice got low and dangerous, "Because I'm gonna fuck you like a whore into the dirt until ya bleed and then let the boys take a few rounds with ya. Hear me?" there were cheers from all of the unsavoury soldiers, if that's what you could call the, eager to get their prick wet no matter what, he pushed Loki's face away and stood up, "But tomorrow!" he called to the large group, "At base we'll give the bitch as good as he gets!" he turned back to Loki with a sneer.

The cheers roared as their leader, Oleg, gestured broadly, like a pack of feral dogs following their master. But cheering slowly turned to an eerie and confused silence. Loki stood slowly and menacingly, looking at the man in front of him, a shadow playing over his eyes and hair creating a dark veil over sharp, cut features.

Before Oleg could fully see Loki, he struck like snake, jumping onto his back and gripping his jaw from behind in a painful grip. He'd managed to get out of the simple cuffs that he'd had on. There was madness starting, beautiful chaos and the domino had fallen into a bit of rabid beasts. Everything seemed to move slowly as Loki spoke his words.

"Do you know what _we'll_ do?" Loki's voice was a deadly whisper that Oleg could hear over everything else, "I'm going to rip out that vulgar sounding tongue and make you eat it, then place your head on a spike for all who pass, to see," he added darkly.

Loki started to slowly grip around his neck, he could feel the man's windpipe, such a delicate thing, so easy to snap. One of the other mercenaries went to fire an arrow at Loki but before anything, Loki swiftly took the knife from Oleg's hand and with an even swifter movement of his wrist, the knife flew, slicing open the archer's throat; the spray of blood sent a shiver through the violent recesses of the tricksters mind. Loki launched himself off of the man, kicking him in the back, making him stumble to the ground. The yelling and screaming was music to the chaos god's ears, enjoying the havoc as he dodged arrows and strikes of swords.

He basked in their surprise.

He'd managed to kill another one and severely injure a great deal more. Then everything seemed to go against Loki's favour, an archer he'd missed shot an arrow into his left bicep, making him falter. He'd nearly forgotten about the leader or the surprisingly big group. Loki was failing, his brain was slow and his body slower to react, his hits starting to miss. Someone yanked on his hair from behind, hard, causing him to yelp and fall backwards on hard ground. Oleg was standing above him, looking furious; an angry red mark was over his brow that the fallen god had caused. Loki was too slow to react when a booted foot stomped down on his throat making him wheeze. He kicked and clawed in a futile effort to get free and take vengeance again.

"You've been a bad little ergi," his gruff, angry face came into clearer view.

The man yanked Loki up by his neck, nearly dislocating it. Even though the god was taller than the mercenary, he managed to lift Loki off his feet. With as much force as the shorter man could muster, threw Loki to the ground, face hitting a rock where he landed. The mercenary used that to his advantage, grabbing the black hair that had become dirty and matted, forcing the god's face up and just as hard, forcing his face back down, hitting the rock again.

The mercenary's next words were accentuated by smashing Loki's head into the sharp rock, "You've," smash, "been," smash. Loki heard his brow crack and blood trickle down the side of, "very," smash. Loki tasted a lot of blood, "bad!" the last word was yelled and enforced by forcing his head down as hard as he could. Loki went limp and coughed a significant amount of blood onto the ground. Part of his vision had turned red from the force.

Silence had fallen over the improvised campsite and the chaos had died down.

Oleg stood up, looking down at the prone body, "My words are always a promise."

He lifted his leg again and kicked, hard. A crack of bone could be heard and Loki's world went black.

…

"Father!"

Thor burst into the shared quarters of the King and Queen of Asgard, wishing to speak with the All-Father. Their room was far more humble than what would be expected of a King or Queen, surprisingly less gaudy than most of the palace, Frigga's idea.

"Thor!" a kind and womanly voice, that seemed none too surprised with Thor's loud entrance, carried.

"Mother," Thor said a little quieter, still however, loud. As was in the golden one's nature.

"What's the matter, child?" Frigga still managed to speak kindly as she did when he was young.

She sat in a high backed chair facing the fire, even in her evening wear, she managed to look like the regal Queen she was. She turned to him, placing an old book on her lap.

"I need to speak to father."

"What of?" her gaze was calming and seemed to do so remarkably well, even making Thor's bearish temperament settle.

"About Loki," he sighed, "I fear that something grave is happening to him," a deep frown came over Thor's face, "I must ask father about it."

Frigga's face seemed surprisingly closed off. She only knew of what Odin told her of her adoptive son, even as high up as she was; she wasn't privy about Loki's punishment. It concerned her some but it seemed that a higher magic than her own was blocking her ability to see her son.

"I can't help you Thor, it is definitely something to bring up with Odin. All I know is that he is in prison for his crimes, other than that I cannot help," she thought something was up but the way Odin was acting as of late, left her quiet. He'd become a little more ruthless in his ruling and judgment.

"Thank you, mother," his expression became softer.

He was so much easier to read than his brother. Loki had his many masks that hid a very recent, cold heart and Thor, always wearing his heart on his sleeve and face an open yet simple book. Frigga always got great satisfaction when she could read past Loki's masks and distinguish the lies he told; now looking back old memories made her heart ache and a sad smile form.

"Where may I find him?" he asked.

"The war room," her eldest began to leave, "and Thor?"

"Yes mother?" always quick to come back to his mother.

"Be careful, your father has become volatile as of late," she gave him a sad smile.

He bowed his head, "Goodnight."

Thor made his way to the war room. He had a feeling that Loki was in trouble but the only he had to go on was forgotten dreams.

"Father," the war room was a place for Odin to think on strategy, so it was best to enter as quietly as he could.

"Ah, my son!" the All-Father's expression changed immediately when his son walked in, "Have you heard of the news?" he seemed in high spirits at least. It was always best to approach the king when his mood was light.

"The victory? Yes, it was quite an achievement," he gave a genuine smile at his father's good mood.

"I saw you at the banquet hall! Now what is it I can do for you?" he held his son by his shoulders.

"I came asking about Loki's punishment," Thor noticed Odin's change, from to cheery to stormy far too quickly as he stepped away from his son.

"Don't mention that name in here," his voice was on the verge of anger, "What of him?"

"I fear that he is in trouble."

"On what grounds?" he went and sat in a similar high backed chair as his mother's.

"I've been having dreams," he said cautiously, "I feel as though he is in trouble or he has escaped."

Odin huffed a laugh, "Thor, do not worry about such trivial things. He is quite safely locked behind closed doors and being punished for his crimes," he said simply. He gave a smile to Thor that seemed to reassure him some. "Don't worry," Odin stood up and clasped his back, "Now go, be on your way. His punishment will be over soon and we may see what we can do about redemption," _after he's dead_, Odin left unsaid. His expression was the slightest bit dark, far too slight for Thor to notice.

Thor left, still unsure on the subject of his brother, or not brother. He wondered aimlessly, only for a short time until Sif found him.

…

The needle went in, more painful than he'd ever imagined. It pierced his skin, his top lip already bleeding far too much from one puncture. It came down, piercing his lower lip. Something was wrong. There was far too much blood, far too much pain for it to merely be a simple needle and thread. If he concentrated on the needle, on the thread and not the agonising, radiating pain, he could feel the enchantment, one designed for pain. This was merely pain for the sake of pain. He could feel the thread pulling through the holes in his lips.

There was an unfamiliar hand that had a bruising grip on his jaw. The grip got tighter until he could hear the straining of bone in his own ears. Loki didn't notice until now that he was screaming. The needle came back again, piercing a third time. Agonisingly slow, his screams were muffled by his lips being sealed. He could feel his blood pouring over his chin and heard it dripping onto a solid floor.

His breathing began to speed up as he couldn't scream. The blood harder to escape making him choke but there was no way for him to gasp.

"Let's see what you look like on the inside."

His world seemed black, he could see nothing, could speak nothing, and couldn't even plead. Pleading was pointless.

"Let's see if we can make you scream while your mouth is shut."

Something sharp barely touched the skin below his neck. It dug in, sending a wave of pain through his chest. He tried to open his mouth to scream at the pain but it only pulled at the thread that sealed his mouth shut, causing even more pain.

"Close, let's see if we can make you open your mouth."

Whatever had dug into skin was now going deeper. _So much pain_. It slowly made its way down the middle of his chest and further; he could feel blood pouring from it, skin opening up. Loki writhed and groaned as the searing pain grew, as his flesh was torn open.

"Scream!"

A knife stabbed in his sternum and he complied against his will. The thread tore from his lips as he let out a howl. His lips were torn but the pain kept going, the slicing kept going, the screams kept going. He even kept screaming when he felt a hand moving between bleeding flesh and into his stomach, twisting up and grasping at things that shouldn't be grasped.

Loki woke to an aching face, an aching body in general. Phantom pains from previous torture left his mind numb and body in a constant state of pain. He was jostled awake by something unknown. He had the feeling of moving and the smell of fresh air. He slowly opened his eyes, only to be met with the back of a horse. He was thrown over the back, hands tied and legs hanging over the side. The convoy had started moving and by the looks of the sun, it was mid-morning. How long had he been unconscious? The surrounding area was forest and there was a scarce amount of melting snow on the ground. Whatever bad weather there was had passed or missed them completely. Just beyond the palace grounds, it was warmer but here it was colder. It dawned on Loki that they had either travelled further north to the mountains or they weren't in Asgard at all. He had no clue as to where they were heading.

It's when he heard wolves that he knew they were now in the low lying valleys of Asgard. He could've laughed. He'd been in these parts years ago, what he remembered of the area was that wolves were a problem to the hunters and travellers of the land. Loki had no qualms with wolves; he liked them far more than any Asgardian should have. Their howls were comforting, soothing him, reminding him of his son.

Some of the horses were spooked, as were the men; Loki could tell by the quiet and cautious voices that passed through their lips.

"Stop!" called their leader. The name he couldn't quite remember again.

The horses all stopped. There were a few more distant howls. They were trying to speak.

"When we set up camp, someone'll 'ave to keep watch," Oleg he remembers now. The man who had granted himself a painful death, "The wolves are vicious in these parts," he added as warning.

The convey started moving again.

"I heard that Skoll and Hati travel all over the Nine Realms," said someone a few meters away. His voice goes quiet as if he's telling secrets, "That whenever you're near a gate to the realms, that you can hear them."

Loki could laugh. He now knows where they are, he can hear their howls as they all get closer to a gate. He'd been here when he was a child; he could easily feel the pull of his magic towards the gate back then. It was back, centuries ago, that he knew how to find ways to the other realms. Such foolish men.

"They are also messengers to the Great Wolf," Loki says quietly from his position on the horse, he can now feel the slide of bone as he talks, making him lisp slightly; a dislocated jaw, "Fenrir Lokisson," he laughs now, a manic sound from a throat only use to screaming.

The mercenaries' faces fall, fear shadowing over their features as Loki's hysteria sets in. It makes everyone uneasy, makes them all cautious.

"What?" it's their leader again.

Loki can't help it, he's still laughing, "You're all going to be very sorry, very soon," he tries to shoot them a frighteningly ominous smile.

"That is enough outta you," their leader came up on his horse.

He brought the butt of a sword down, behind his head, hard enough to crack something and sends Loki's world black again.

Loki woke this time, lack of haunted memories and the feeling of a hard surface beneath him. His hands were tied tightly behind his back, thrown to the ground on dirt and the barest amount of grass. He cracked his eyes open slightly, the dull ache behind his eyes turned to full blown pain. It's still daylight, if only barely. He rolls on his back, even though pain shoots up his arms, he'd suffered far worse, the pains only recognised as slight discomfort. Everything around him seems to laugh at him, the scenery mocking him. As he looks up he sees the tops of pine trees and a clear blue sky and the peaks of snow-capped mountain ranges, mocking him with their serenity.

He looks around, no one in sight. The whole camp has been set up and he's been left outside the back of a tent with a bowl of scraps like a mangy dog. After Loki's little trick just beyond the palace, he'd thought they'd keep a better eye on him, their stupidity would allow Loki his escape. He looked around again but only hears gruff voices in the distance and the barks of dogs; dogs he hadn't yet had the misfortune of meeting.

He tries to will his magic to him, he can't focus on it and there is only a small amount, just within his grasp; escape the old fashion way. Loki twists his shoulders, straining it until he hears a pop in both of them. He lifts his arms up, trying not to wince too much at the pain as the bone hits nerves and tendons on their way around, over his head and in front of him now. He slowly counts down from three and locks his shoulders back in place. When he's done, sweat has started to form along his brow, making the dirt there clump.

He looks around again, like a skittish animal. Still there is no one around, he should take advantage of it and he does. Loki gets up and runs the opposite direction of where the camp is without a second thought, not looking back and hands still bound in front of him.

…

Oleg's tent is larger than the dregs of his ragtag army, something a general would be proud of. It houses a makeshift table with maps and parchment and an oil lamp, a simple wooden chair, a cot and a trunk housing things needed in battle. There is a worn rug he'd stolen from an Elvish merchant, made from fine materials but worn from travel and the occasional fucking of slaves he'd stolen as well, there was still some blood on it that never really got cleaned away. There's a few supporting beams inside that have been carved over the years and lamps hanging from near the tops of them.

He looks around his tent, pleased with the efficiency of his men. It had only taken them an hour to set everything up.

He made his way out of the tent, the cool air hitting him; it was sure to snow during the night, going by the snow that had barely melted. The fire in front of his tent was already blazing, men coming from the woods with kindling. He could hear the dogs close by.

He sighed and breathed in the fresh air, soon to smell like blood, he hoped anyway. He noticed by the fire, two men standing, talking. Oleg had ordered one, if not both of them, to watch his little prize.

"Where is he?" Oleg started towards the fire. He hoped that those morons didn't leave the runt by himself.

"Who?" one of the asked.

"My prize ya fool!"

"He was supposed to look after him," the lankier one pointed to the shorter, stockier of the two.

"What? You were!"

Both of them were about to get started in a fight when Oleg butted in, "So your tellin' me," he said calmly, looking them down, "that no one is watchin' him!" he yelled, "Where is he!?"

Oleg was furious; ret hot anger flooding through him. He was led to where they left him, tossed him behind a tent. Nothing was there, no sign that Loki was there at all. Oleg screamed with rage and turned both of the offending idiots, without a second thought he punched both of them in the face.

"Get the dogs. Find him!" he ordered to the group. Turning to face the forest and looking towards it murderously, "Dig the hole."

…

Loki ran through the pine forest, hands still tied, jumping over fallen logs and trying to miss the melting snow that would inevitably make him slip. He sprinted away from the camp, he had ran a significant distance but he still needed to get further away, to find the gate and get out of Asgard. He started looking back when he heard a yell in the distance; they had gotten word of his escape.

The sound of barking dogs could be heard in the distance and Loki looked even more scared than what he already was, a feeling he'd acquired during his punishment; fear. They would have his trail by now. He saw a forest clearing and knew that if he went there he would be out in the open and vulnerable.

He could hear his heart thudding in his head, body starting to feel sore after so long of not being used. He was weak and he knew that he wouldn't last much longer.

Loki noticed a river and made a beeline for it. The river was more of a creek now since there was a dam he could see up stream but there was still plenty of water. The dam meant people, maybe he could hide in a farmer's barn if he got there quick enough. He ran across the river, slipping on the submerged rocks.

He eventually made his way across and up the rocky side, it lost him a large amount of time. His breath was now visible in the cold air. He could hear the sounds of hounds getting closer and tried to run faster, out running dogs would never end well.

An arrow whizzed past his head and embedded itself into a tree trunk. He turned to see the advancing men who were searching for him. He was glad that they weren't the best of shots. But his thoughts were wrong.

An arrow hit just under his shoulder blade, digging deep into his skin. He nearly fell down but kept on going, he needed to get as far away as possible. He could feel the energy of one of the gates, he was close just a little more. He could feel the blood running down his back and could tell that the arrow hit something vital. Another hit him lower but on the other side making him fall over this time. If he wasn't brought down by the arrows, fatigue would've done it. He hit the ground with a heavy thud; he could hear the increasing barks and yells of dogs and Ӕsir from the ground. He tried to get up again but pain shot through his whole, aching body. They weren't going to kill him, he wished now that his death would come soon. He eventually gave up and stayed still, he could hear the hooves of a horse getting closer and his heavy breathing like thunder in his ears.

Two archers came into view and a man holding two scruffy, mangy looking dogs that kept barking. Loki coughed up some blood, he was lucky, or not so lucky, that the arrows were simple, if they had enchantments, he'd be dead. A large black horse came into view, it reminded him of Sleipnir, but this horse looked far too angry, he'd seen far too many battles, if given time the horse could be kind, but no one would give it time.

Oleg got off of the horse, looking murderous. He pulled Loki up by his hair like a scolded cat.

"You are causing far too much trouble, lil' liar."

He threw him down behind the horse, Loki landing on his back, driving one of the arrows straight through. He coughed up some more blood.

"Get him on the horse," he ordered.

He stood cross armed as he watched the black haired trickster get hogtied and thrown on the back of the horse. When done, the mercenary came and back handed him across his face. He got on his horse and immediately started to gallop back to camp.

He'd failed again. His brain was working far slower than he'd like it to and whenever he thought his mind hurt. He could feel his magic but it was weak, only enough to hide what he truly was, he would have to endure, to wait for it to slowly come back, eventually to allow his escape. If he thought, his demons would come in full force and his body would ache from phantom pains. Oleg was definitely going to punish Loki for this slight, also those two dunces that left him alone, fools.

It was slowly becoming dark as the horse made its way swiftly back to the camp. As night crept in, so did the cold. By nature, Loki was not affected by the cold, something he knew when he was young. Growing up, playing outside in winter in nothing but a short sleeved tunic and thin pants, feeling the snow under bare feet. He thought that he just had a higher tolerance for the cold, but centuries past and he found out why. A monster made from ice beneath a mask of Ӕsir flesh. Such memories made him sick, made him hateful.

He was pushed off the horse, landing at the feet of all the hungry looking men. Oleg circled around Loki on the horse, looking down at him as his steed nearly trampled his head. The men all cheered at their ruthless leader. Oleg himself got off the horse, kicking Loki in his side. He walked past him and gestured to the crowed that formed and all went silent.

"Gentlemen!" he called, "I 'ave brought back the little bastard!" there were more cheers, "Because some of you were rather _stupid_!" the last word was yelled, "Bring em' out." He gestured with his hand. Two men, now in stockades and gagged, were dragged to the feet of their master, "This is what happens when you don't follow orders," he told the crowd, "What shall we do with em'?"

They all shouted things that coalesced into an unintelligible noise and sounded more like feral animals than that of Ӕsir; Ӕsir that soiled the name of golden men. The fire raged on just as the men did, turning into beasts of the night with new entertainment.

"Tie him up," he pointed to the stockier one.

Panic started to cross his face as a dreg came quickly to drag him, while another brought some sort of wooden pole at least a foot wide and thirteen feet tall. It looked old and worn; nearer to the top were small holes at varying degrees of height and blood staining the aged wood. The one that brought the pole and placed it in an already dug hole two feet deep close to the fire. The hole filled in around the pole, standing like a totem.

"Now," he growled in a mock imitation of a purr, which his voice could never do, "Unshackle him."

They quickly took off the stockades and pushed him closer to the pole. The men were all still jeering and shouting, looking more like primitive savages than Ӕsir. A wooden box was placed at the bottom of the pole.

"This is what happens when ya' don't follow instructions. You all know what happens!"

Two men dragged him and made him stand on the box.

"Face the pole. Hands up," he ordered.

The man did as he was told hesitantly. He placed his hand up high on the pole. By the look on his face he knew what was to come. One of the men that dragged him handed Oleg a heavy looking hammer and some large nails. He made his way to the man on the grate.

"Things would 'ave been so much easier if you just listened," he said to him. The box was wide enough for Oleg to step up, "You know what is gonna happen."

He placed the large nail against the back of his hand, positioning it just right. He lifted the hammer up, leaving it there longer than necessary, for suspense. He brought the hammer down quickly, driving the nail in down to the wood. The man let out a cry even though it was muffled by a gag. Oleg did it again to the other hand. Blood was starting to run down the wood and the man's arms. The group of animals cheered at their comrades' pain. The mercenary got off of the box and kicked it out from under the stocky man's feet, letting him hang from pinned hands. He tried to let out a howl of pain. He handed the hammer back.

A large tattooed man, who could've rivalled Thor in height and build, made his way towards the mercenary. How Loki had not seen him among the large group of rouges was beyond him. The man held a whip in his hand and as suddenly as he got to Oleg's side, he let out an attack from the whip on the unawares man, hanging from the pole. The whip hit with deadly accuracy, cracking at quick intervals. Soon, blood was oozing its way out of red lines from the man's back.

"Stop!"

The crack of the whip stopped and the punished was taken down from the pole, unconscious and bleeding. The taller of the accused went through the exact same treatment, lasting longer than the other. When all was done and all involved were punished, the ignorant were sent to a medic, albeit slowly and the sun had fully gone down. The smell of blood and cheap mead lingered in the air. Loki had been tied up and the arrows taken out, long before the punishments ended, and now being watched carefully. All the men had drunken their weight in foul liquor and eyed Loki as if he were meat.

"Now!" Oleg stood up clumsily, "Time, to break in the little bitch!" he slurred and pointed to Loki, chained this time, while all the men around him cheered. One tried to grope at Loki, their leader hit him away, "I'll do et!" he yelled. Oleg came and yanked Loki up by his hair, yet again, making him hiss at the sudden pain, "Imma enjoy this," he said to Loki.

He dragged Loki to his tent, throwing him on an old rug as soon as he got inside. The cheers from outside were muffled by the thick material of the tent. Inside it was dark only lit by a few oil lamps and smelt musty and foul all around. Loki tried to skirt away from him, a small ounce of disgust and fear glossing over his face, as he took off his coat.

"Get back 'ere," he pulled at Loki's ankles.

"Get off of me!" Loki spat back.

"So it speaks now?" he smirked at him, not even considering the disgraced god's words.

Nearly as quickly as Oleg took his own clothes off, only leaving his trousers, he ripped all of Loki's off. Loki knew that he'd be found out what he was; he tried to will his body to change, so that he could hide what he was—

"What's this then?" it didn't work and Loki could nearly cry and scream and run. Oleg kicked his legs apart as Loki looked away disgusted, trying to get away from the inevitable. There came a deep laugh that sounded far too unpleasant, "You've got a cock _and _a cunt. Oh this makes things so much more interesting, little freak."

He came down to Loki's level, straddling his hips, pinning him down. He swooped in trying to claim Loki's mouth, only for Loki to move his head away.

"None of that," he said, clutching Loki's jaw. He assaulted Loki's mouth with a sloppy kiss, forcing his way into Loki's mouth. The raven haired man bit down hard, "You little freak!" he yelled, spitting blood onto the rug. Loki spat whatever blood was in his mouth at Oleg's general direction.

The mercenary had murder in his eyes, looking as if he'd spit hellfire. Loki tried to squirm away as best he could with his hands chained.

"Get back here you little bitch!"

Loki's back hit a pole, leaving nowhere to run. The mercenary garbed his wrists in a painful grip and flipped him over on his stomach. Loki tried again to get his magic, to attack. It was still too weak. The mercenary unshackled one of his hands, bringing the chain around the pole and linking it up again, trapping Loki. His attempts at escaping were now at zero.

The mercenary's hand found its way between Loki's thighs, making him yelp away, shaking his head as if he could make it all go. The rough hand massaged the folds of his cunt. Loki willed his body to not react to the invasive attention that the bearish man was giving him. The mercenary's hand left from between Loki's thigh, finding themselves hitching Loki onto his knees, face pushed to the ground. The rough hands roamed over the scarred skin of the god's back from the hands of whips and beatings. From behind, the mercenary had dropped his trousers, Loki could hear him spitting into his hands. Without further warning, he forced his way into the folds between Loki's thighs with a grunt, Loki himself let out a small cry. There was a dark chuckle, the mercenary was pounding into him, hard, and making obscene noises. Loki tried not to react, trying not to think about the pain. How did his life come to this, being a whore to dogs? He felt bile rising up and a flood of shame.

"No," it wasn't his voice, it was small and weak and yet it came from his mouth, "Stop," he pleaded with a quiet sob.

It made no difference; the torture seemed to go on for ages as the gruff brute continued to assault him from behind. Loki looked to the side; he could see the old and dried blood from someone else who had been given the same treatment. Then it stopped and the mercenary pulled out but he was far from done. He forced his way into the tight ring of muscle that was his arse. Loki let out a scream of pain and that was it, he reacted no more as the action triggered something; Loki shut down, knowing the best way to deal with it all. The rape was nothing new and to say he was used to it made him sick and only made for him to wish his own death more. Far too many reasons. He continued to pound and yet still Loki didn't react, cheek rubbing against the ground and stared blankly at nothing. There was no pleasure from this, only pain. He could feel tearing, blood slowly dripping down his thighs. He could hear the man getting close to his own climax, then the grunting stopped and Loki could feel the man's seed released and mix with the god's blood.

_Not much of a god now_, something told him in the back of his brain, sounding disgusted.

As soon as no one was holding him up, he collapsed, drawing himself in on the floor. Curling up as if it would comfort him. He didn't know how long he lay on the floor in a dazed pain but strong hands took the chains off.

"Now that was just for fun."

He chained him back up, hands behind his back as he was pulled up. Loki's face wasn't dry, he didn't know when he started crying.

_WEAK! _Something angry in his mind yelled.

There was a sharp slap across his face, "Look alive sunshine. Time for the boys," there was a sick sadistic smirk on the man's face.

He dragged outside, with great force, out of the tent. Somewhere along the way the mercenary put on his pants. Outside of the tent, all the men looked hungry and feral. Eyes glinting with greed, all wanting the taste of flesh.

"Feeding time at the fucking zoo!" the mercenary called, throwing Loki to the ground in front of all their feet, "You'll find a surprise between his legs. Have fun boys!"

Oleg went back into his tent as chaos ensued. The shouts and screams made him smile darkly.

Outside, Loki was being ripped apart as man after man, men after men bashed, smacked, slapped and eventually took Loki on the cold dirt ground. There was far too many of them and he was far too weak to fight, eventually he became too weak to scream 'no'. He eventually went limp as whatever number of men had taken him by force. After hours, Loki felt nothing; only one constant factor that had slowly become numb was all the pain, never ceasing and eventually his brain told the rest of his body to forget what pain felt like. After hours when they all had their fill, they left and left Loki in the dirt and blood and vomit as snow began to fall slowly. He didn't move, didn't think and never realised the snow was falling.

…

It was days maybe even weeks, days that his mind shut off to the world, promising his freedom eventually, days of being used like slave for men's dirty and sickening deeds; A whore. He was a slave now only good at being Oleg's whore and everyone else's if Oleg let them. Every night was the same, brutal and sick, his body didn't fight back, he laid pliant to whatever the men had in store. He'd been beaten, in the back of his mind, something was cataloguing the damage. Healed scars reopened and bones broke. Some nights he'd wake howling in pain, clutching at pains that weren't there and every time he'd be silenced by violence.

One night when they were particularly bored, he was hung up on the pole and whipped until he blacked out and the sound of the whip cracking was more painful than its strike; they all cheered, so many of them cheered. Whatever skin was left on his back was surely gone.

He was left outside, when he wasn't being used to fulfil some sort of sick desire, each night snow would fall, leaving him subconsciously shivering but he wasn't really cold, the factor of what he was, prevented that.

Each night they found ways to humiliate him, found ways to mark him, he was even branded like cattle. One night out of all the uncountable, he did scream. His mind returned to him in a moment of clarity, he felt all the pain, heard all their words.

"You're so cold on the inside," one of them had laughed in his drunken state, "Let's see if we can heat you up."

He lay at the base of the fire, a few feet away; he would rather have the falling snow than being near the fire. He was held down on his back, he never remembers having clothes on for a while, his body open to the element and leers. There were men holding his arms down, splaying his legs open and holding them down too.

The child and innocence of his mind kept on asking why he deserved this, how had he made them think he deserved all this. The darker parts yelled back that he deserved everything, every ounce of pain, every humiliation; for destroying the home of monster, for attacking the world of the mortals, for betraying their king. His head shot up in his moment of clarity at the sound of metal against coals.

One of the men held an iron poker, glowing hot white from the fire and he held Loki's gaze with a promise of pain. Loki watched the poker with wide eyes as he brought it closer to Loki's legs, slowly becoming more panicked. He wanted to scream out, to shoot some scathing remark, but his mouth was forced closed by someone's iron grip. He could feel the radiating heat near the inside of his thighs getting closer and closer until a searing hot pain, nearly cold in its intensity, radiated all throughout his body, making him convulse.

His mind was screaming and it was no time at all that he blacked out; in between tears and screaming.

* * *

**A/N**: I'm sorry. You can shoot me now. Or nail me to a totem.

**IMPORTANT QUESTION**: in the next couple of chapters when we get back to Stark Tower, are there any ideas for Loki and Avengers interactions, I don't have enough, then shit hits the fan again.


	19. And The Wolves Will Be Set Free

**A/N**: Since I was unbelievably tardy with the other chapter and I was mean, I'll give you another (it may or may not be because of the fact that I've recently moved to the country and have no internet in my area until about the year 2016AD but whatever. Which means that I have no clue when or if I could update (tsk, tsk, excuses, excuses)). This (I hope) absolves me (to a degree) of the sins to which I have inflicted upon our dear and beloved little shit, Loki.

To the guest who pointed out my forever torturing of Loki's poor soul, I apologise, I am endeavouring to cease. This, I hope, is the end of any actual torture I will inflict upon his fictional persons. /courteous nod to you reader

**WARNINGS**: LOTS of violence (red, the blood angry men!)

**Chapter 19: And The Wolves Will Be Set Free**

* * *

_Pray to your god  
Open your heart  
Whatever you do  
Don't be afraid of the dark  
Cover your eyes  
The devil inside_

_One night of the hunter  
One day I will get revenge  
One night to remember  
One day it'll all just end_

Night of the Hunter – 30 Seconds to Mars

* * *

He woke up, convulsing and threw up what was left of his stomach, the pain between his thighs and stomach was unbearable. He was left in what looked like a ditch just beyond the light of camp. He shakily brought a hand down, to check the damage of what had been done to his unfortunate second sex. His hand went between his thighs, he could feel the burnt flesh there, shakily he brought his hand up, the blood glistening in the slow approach of dawn. He howled at all the pain, days or weeks of pent up rage and pain. All the hurt conveyed in his voice. All the hope lost. In that moment everything was replaced with a detached sense of anger and rage. And vengeance.

He slumped slightly still howling. He sat on his knees hands resting limp in the pool of blood on the cold ground. The blood covered most of his lower body, still dripping down his thighs. He heard the sound of footsteps coming from the camp.

"I guess he finally lost it," two of them came up to make his screaming stop.

Loki stopped his hoarse screaming instantly. Both of the men looked at each other confused and disappointed at not being able to silence the darked haired man with violence.

Something in Loki's posture changed, he seemed to slump more, relaxed even. One held up a flame torch lighting up a very small area. Loki looked up, there was nearly no expression on his face only a detached mask. The little bit of light reflected in Loki's eyes making them seem to light up. He tilted his head to the side, hair falling in his face. The men seemed more fearful than confused now.

There was a howl from the nearby woods, far too close for the men's comfort; they turned to the noise when another one came from the dark depths of the forest. Eyes glowed in the dark like Will-o-Wisps bringing bad omens, as a pair of wolves stayed in the woods just before the clearing. The men waved their torches in the wolves' direction, trying to scare them off, their fear evident in the way they moved. Behind them, Loki had stood silently.

One of them turned to find Loki mere inches away from his face. The man stood entranced, staring into poisonous and empty green eyes. Up close he could see old burns around his eyes and the tiniest of scars.

"What are—" the other turned around. He lifted his sword to Loki, trying to get him to back off.

The wolves came into view, two of them larger than most, one a charcoal grey and the other a dusty brown, growling and splitting off to start to circle the slightly frightened men. More eyes seemed to float in the dark but didn't leave the shadows of the forest.

Loki turned to face the one with the sword and smiled a smile that was more like barring teeth and false security. The one that had become entranced was still so, staring at Loki, eyes glazed over as if Loki were a snake that hypnotised its prey.

"What did you do to him?" the one with the sword asked.

The barring of teeth Loki had, grew wider, "Oh, I did nothing," he rasped. The wolves that were circling continued their growling staring down the two men, "Have you met?" he gestured to the wolves. The man spun around, the wolves had gotten closer and looking all the more hungrier.

"Wh-what?" his eyes went comically wide.

"I told you they'd come," Loki said menacingly dark and ominous.

"Wh-who?" the man stuttered.

The god's demeanour changed instantly as if he was introducing old friends, "Why Hati and Skoll of course."

The wolves continued their pacing as the man turned to the wolves again, staring at the menacing creatures. He turned back to Loki; with a speedy movement Loki swiped his hand across the man's throat, ripping it out. He fell to his knees, clutching it. Blood spilled from the wound. He tried to scream from a wrecked neck but only gurgled. Loki laughed a menacingly, insane laugh and swiftly snapped the neck of the one standing stock still.

The god came down to the man's level, looking completely out of it, like a crazed animal starved for weeks, "Now," he said animatedly, "Stop," he whispered to his side, to himself, "You're going to feel a lot more pain, _very _soon. Because I'm going to get them," he pointed to the wolves that were even closer, "to rip you open, how does that sound?" he hummed to himself, "Shut up," he barked to himself, "And your friend…" Loki looked to the prone body on the ground, "well, he had it easy."

Loki stood up, still covered in his own blood from his abdomen down and kicked the man down. That was the cue for the wolves to attack. More ran from the forest to follow the lead of Hati and Skoll. The wolves tore into the flesh, soaking the ground red. The god watched as the canines acted on Loki's vengeance, a deep pit that had its walls broken down, crumpled. Loki's insanity ran free with an animalistic impulse, leaving every other part of his mind behind a locked door.

The god's attention shifted from the animals feasting at his feet to the campsite nearby. It was close, he could smell the pungent odour of mead and sweat. He would take his revenge, slaughter every single one, draw it out and bask in the chaos and blood that was to follow. He could feel his magic, days, if not more, he had to regain it. It wasn't much, only enough to get to a safe place in the nine realms and maybe another glamour. He'd have to deliver pain the old fashioned way. He smiled darkly at the thought.

He made his way to the camp, ready to bring down his own form of pain and punishment.

…

It was an uncountable amount of time later, there were screams everywhere. He was covered in blood that wasn't just his own. He stood in the middle of the chaos as if orchestrating a symphony. Feeling the crush of bone, the tearing of flesh, between his hands, how the tables had turned. The wolves had joined in Loki's fun, aiding the mother of The Great Wolf but they were enjoying it too.

A blade came close to his face, just missing his cheek. He spun around and punched the offender in the gut, digging his hand further until he felt the slick slide of organs in his hand. _Such delicate, stupid creatures_. An arrow hit him in the back, Loki took the sword of the man his hand was in and launched it towards the archer, getting him square in the chest. He grinned wickedly again.

A wolf jumped over his shoulder, launching himself at a mercenary, tearing out his throat. Loki continued his dance of violence, relishing in the feel of the blood of the foul men, their screams as he tore out vital parts with his hands. There was a fire spreading somewhere, lighting up the tents in a blaze. Another arrow hit him lower, in his abdomen, he didn't much care and couldn't feel the arrow but swiftly killed the man anyway.

He felt a sword in his stomach. He looked up to see Oleg looking beyond angry, trying to fight back the sudden burst of aggression from Loki. Where he'd been the whole time he didn't know or even think to care. Loki looked back down at the sword piercing his stomach; he smiled darkly for the umpteenth time that night.

"I will kill you!" the mercenary yelled, all anger.

Loki's smile didn't leave. He stepped closer, the sword going in deeper until it pierced the skin at his back. Oleg's eyes were wide, staring in a form of fear, "Is that right?" Loki said in a saccharine voice; he took another step forward, not caring about the sword skewering him. His face was mere inches away from the mercenary's, "It doesn't seem to be working out quite so well. Does it?"

"How?" he asked, confusion and horror on his face.

Loki laughed manically, jostling the sword more making the blood flow more smoothly. He head butted the mercenary, hard enough for him to black out. Loki stood there, sword still protruding from his stomach. Eventually, he took the grip of the sword and brought it out, the sound was sickening. He gave it an appraising look before he sliced the air, bringing down three men behind him. Their numbers had fallen dramatically, not being able to fight off a pack of angry wolves, two wolves that were more or less gods and one god of chaos with revenge on the shadows of his jaded mind. The shadows were slowly forming into their own beasts, sharp teeth and claws ripping away at the psyche and the men around him.

Loki held up a hand, the wolves all stopped what they were doing and everything went silent, apart from the occasional pained sound from some of the men who hadn't died. Some of the wolves had stopped mid bite, looking at the god as if they were waiting for orders.

"Bring the live ones," his speech was slurred, only barely. The raven haired god looked to the sky, the sun starting to rise, bathing the sky in orange hues. He turned back to the wolves and grinned like a shark that smelled blood, "We're going to have some fun."

…

It took less than five minutes for the wolves to collect the living and guard them. The god of chaos had gone shockingly paler as the minutes passed; he was still bleeding from the wound in his stomach and a few of the arrows he'd acquired on his back and stomach, though it didn't seem to hinder him, much.

The wolves circled the men, at least five, as they sat huddled in a circle. They all seemed to stare at Loki, who stood with his back to them, with fear. Fear that the god had caused, fear that his darker self basked in. There were a few moments of silence as Loki just stood there, staring at the sky as if looking for answers. He was covered in blood and not just his own, it was the only closest thing to clothing he wore, the blood of dead men.

"Oleg!" he shouted suddenly, making the group jump. He turned suddenly staring at the aforementioned. His face, like his body was covered in blood, though a lot less; it made him seem even paler.

He strode over getting right in the mercenary's face, barring his teeth. The man just stared back; a small bit of fear was in his eyes far less than his comrades; Loki was about to change that. The lanky god yanked on the hair, after a few minutes of dragging the man along the ground he threw him at the bottom of the pole.

"How?" the man asked, rather steadily.

"Hmm?" he mummed back, looking around for something, "Do you know where any rope is?" he asked conversationally, "Oh, there's some," he sounded almost gleeful as he pulled a large length of rope up from one of the tents, making the whole structure collapse, "How, what?"

"You ain't you, how?" the man seemed confused, "Only yesterday you were lame, this whole time you 'ave been lame."

"Well you see the thing is," Loki took the man's sword that he threw away carelessly before and drove it into the wood of the pole, he stood back and gave it an appraising look, "Stand," he force the mercenary up and pushed him, back against the pole, "The thing is," he rapped the rope around the man's wrists, "you can only push something so far," he then held the man's bound wrists up in a bruising grip above his head, with one hand. He looked the man in the eye, something crazy gleaming in the poisonous green. The man tried to get free but the god was far stronger than the mercenary last remembered. Loki brought his face closer, "until that something snaps." He enforced the point by driving his free palm into the mercenary's forearm, making it snap audibly. The shorter man let out a yell of pain.

Loki lifted him off of the ground and gently placed his wrists atop of the sword that was driven into the wood. It left the mercenary eye level with Loki. He noticed the twitch in Loki's eye as if something was irritating him. Loki stepped back and started mumbling as if he was talking to himself.

"Quickly?" his eyes were darting from side to side, "No," his voice was angry and dark, "Let him watch?" the inquisitive voice was back, "Yes," he hissed. He turned to look at the man hanging up, now in a cold sweat, "Seems we have come to a verdict," he smiled darkly.

"Wha' was that?" the concern was evident.

Loki strolled back over, "You see," he gripped his face, smearing blood on his jaw, "What's hidden underneath this skin and buried close to the surface of my mind, is a lot of very dark things. Things that I have kept in check for reasonable amount of time, the All-Father however, he broke a vital component and now this is what is left," he stood back, spreading his arms wide, a gesture he remembered doing in a glass tank in what seemed like eons ago, and picked up another sword and put it in the fire nearby, "All shadows and piercing things in my mind, like jagged pieces of glass, all wanting to get out. Screaming at me," he continued, walking around the pole, eyeing the man.

"What're ya going to do to us?"

"Oh, I'm going to hurt you," he said without missing a beat, "Quite severely and will definitely result in death, albeit agonisingly slow," Loki held up his hand, feeling something that hadn't been there a while. With a click of his fingers a green flame engulfed his hand, and smiled manically at it, "It's back… and it's angry." His magic always seemed to have a mind of its own, sometimes choosing to be stubborn, as of late. It would generally act according to the surroundings, the god's mindset, he's focus and emotional wellbeing, and all of those were ever changing in drastic and catastrophic ways.

He went back to the fire and took out the sword, appraising the red hot glow. He staggered slightly, whether it was from blood loss or mental instability, one wasn't quite sure; leaning against the pole, face near to his former captor. His smile was knife sharp and his gaze a little hazy. Even in the glow of the rising sun, he was deathly pale, looking more comfortable with the dead than the living, deep shadows under his eyes set his skin, and scars, in high contrast. His pale complexion flickered blue for a short moment, his eyes went blood red and his teeth took on a shark like appearance for the same amount of time, it promptly went back to the deathly pale Ӕsir complexion. The hanging man's eyes went wide comically, Loki's knife smile took on a malicious edge to it.

"Y-you, really are—?"

"Yes, do keep up," he looked bored with his surroundings, "Well, now you know you're going to die by the hands of a monster in sheep's clothing," he grinned again, all malice and pain, "Let's take a look at this shall we," he raised the still red sword, looking at it as if picking out the faults, "Well it's no Elvish blade… or Dwarvish for that matter," he seemed put out by it, "The Ӕsir were never the best blacksmiths but I'm sure it will do _just_ fine."

The mercenary just looked at him, fearful and confused.

He took a few steps, whistling to himself as if there wasn't a care in the world. When he got a few feet, he stopped and stood with a ram rod straight back, he turned on his feet like a soldier to battle and quickly going into a fighting pose, he lifted the sword, the tip facing towards the hanging man. In a second he was running towards him, sword drawn. With a sickening squelch the sword made its way through the mercenary's abdomen. There was enough force to drive the sword through the wood behind him. The mercenary let out a choked, wet cough bringing up blood.

"I'm rather disinclined with you going anywhere," Loki stated simply, "And you won't bleed to death on me," the blade being hot enough to cauterise. His face was close again, "I want you to watch," the smile he gave, sent shivers down everyone's back, even the wolves seemed a little more cautious.

"I'm getting out of here!" one of the men in the huddled group stood up and ran like a sacred rabbit, as fast as he could and dodging the snapping maws of the wolves. As swift as a snake, Loki procured a dagger from out of thin air and flung it at the one retreating. There was a howl of pain as it dug deep into his back.

"Do bring him back," Loki said dismissively.

The wolves sprinted over to the fallen body, dragging him by his clothes to Loki's feet. The god rubbed affectionately at the wolves' back.

"That wasn't particularly bright, now was it," Loki squatted down to his level, "Have you heard the story of Vali and Nari?"

The man on the ground looked at Loki confused and afraid, "W-what? Y-yes."

The god started circling, putting his hands behind his back, "Well, my sons had no part of what the All-Father had accused me of, did you know that?" he looked at the man expectantly.

The man simply nodded like a scared animal.

"Do you all know?" he looked to all the men.

They too, nodded.

"Well I guess it wasn't all that of a private affair," he shrugged, "I know that word spread of their demise to Vanaheim… and Midgard for that matter. Do you know what it's like to watch an Ӕsir being ripped apart by a wolf? It's a messy business," the wolves were following him as he circled the man, "I didn't take much pleasure in watching it, purely for the fact of it being my children," he turned on the spot looking down at him, "But I'm going to take immense gratification in watching it happen to you."

Without any further warning, two of the wolves attacked the fallen rouge, tearing at his flesh. The man screamed until one of the wolves bit his neck and tore at some key components there. It was a short matter of time until he stopped writhing and the wolves still continued with their violence. By the time Loki raised his hand for them to stop, there wasn't much left of the once whole body. Loki made his way back to Oleg, walking through the blood soaked ground. The man was pale and looking rather sick.

The god, his eyes dark and haunted, procured a thin and long, menacing looking knife out of nowhere, "Didn't I say I was going to cut out your tongue?" he twisted it in his hand making the light bounce off of its razor sharp edge.

…

The god's handiwork was almost done, one little matter to attend to. His demented and twisted sense of chaos resonated in his ears like a delightful melody that had trapped itself within the dark confines of a broken psyche, it sang to him and its/his thirst for graphic vengeance was nearly sated. That one thing he had forgotten, nearly. A man who was made to watch and if Loki was in his right mind (which he was definitely far from), he would look upon the man and see a monster, his mind now warped, more so than usual. He had given up his fight, his eyes had gone shallow and same went for his breathing, his skin a sickly colour of a horror stricken man and vomit covered most of his front. Loki was pleased with his results as he made his way back to the man, still very much alive, although he wished he wasn't.

The god looked as if he had bathed in his enemies' blood; his hair had matted slightly from it all and the only thing that stood out were his eyes, like green fire on a dark crimson canvas. Underneath the large amount of red, his skin was deathly pale from his own blood loss and it hadn't stopped, somewhere along his rampage he'd been stabbed by one of his captives and the wound that nearly gutted him had reopened wider, by some miracle his insides had stayed in their place. Other than the deathly colour of his skin, the slightly vague and expressionless aspect of his eyes and the recent tremor his body had adopted, he was otherwise unhindered in his own form of torture. He was an angel of death.

The scene that someone would see upon intruding would look nothing less than a massacre with the smell of burning flesh lingering in the air. As the god of chaos walked to the last remaining man, he looked around; where one man begun a part of another ended, a skull sat in the still blazing fire, slowly turning charcoal, somewhere vultures were picking at half a body, sans head, the wolves, including Hati and Skoll, bickering over which part of another they'd eat, entrails wrapped around what only looked like a torso and the scattering of limbs were in places no one would even consider looking. It was the closest thing to the inside of Loki's head any living being may have had the displeasure of seeing, even if it was nowhere close enough to Loki's mind. It was a masterpiece in gore, violence and insanity. There was still something in the back of his mind screaming for him to stop.

_An angel of death_.

Loki sidled up to the mercenary, resting his elbow on the sword protruding from his stomach, earning a wince from the man. Mixed with vomit on his chest was blood. The god did end up feeding the man his tongue.

"Time for your demise."

Loki took his time taking the sword from the pole and out of the man's stomach, making his wound bleed freely. In the next moment, he took out the sword holding the man's bound wrists in place; he fell to the ground like a sack.

"I warned you what would happen," Loki pointed the sword in his hand towards the man, "You have pushed the beast too far and now it's running around, killing its masters," he looked down his nose at him.

The one on the ground groaned and clutched at his stomach.

"Get on your knees," the god ordered in a tone that garnered no questioning.

The man got to his knees without question. He knew he was going to die and that fighting the inevitable would end, still with his death, painfully, far more so than what he hoped the vengeful god was going to do. He underestimated the wreck that was the God of Mischief, he was dealing with the God of Chaos now, and there was no trickster in the god's eyes, only pain, death and darkness. A darkness that consumed the man kneeling, looking into those eyes he saw his own pain and it drove him further mad. There were flickers of changing emotions on the god's face, like he was fighting himself every step of the way.

"Know that you have been slayed by a broken man, a naked man and a monster. That your demise comes from the hands of a disgraced prince of Asgard a stolen prince of Jötunheim… by Loki," his own name was growled and vengeful green fire played in his eyes.

He lifted the sword, aiming to strike at Oleg's neck.

"Do send your regards to Hel for me."

The sword fell.

…

The forest was as quiet as a graveyard at dawn. There was no noise, the sort of eerie silence that followed death. The ground was soaked, smoke was in the air. The camp was merely ash, only dead bodies and vultures were its residents.

A head on a makeshift spike, made from a broken branch, was the dark welcome you'd receive. The intermixed smell of blood, smoke and flesh would send anyone fleeing; it was the smell of the battlefield but in that case, a massacre. Upon looking there would be no enemies dead, only allies, mutilated and tortured, killed in a plethora of painful ways. The sky was slowly going dark while thunder clouds started to form in the morning sky. It added to the demented and horrifying scene of a massacre.

Amongst the foul odour and death was a sole living being, though their existence was pained with every breath they took. Death was no closer to the raven haired harbinger but his mind was broken like razor sharp pieces of glass that made every waking thought he had, drive him into perpetual state of insanity. He was there, slumped in a pool of blood that was not just his own, ivory skin and obsidian hair now a sickly crimson colour.

"Run," he whispered to himself, convincing himself to move, to get as far away from this place as possible, "Leave this place."

He looked up, dull green eyes confused and pained. He was an injured bird, a raven of death amongst his own reckoning that had his psyche knocked until he remembered nothing but fragments of destruction.

He stood shakily, clutching his stomach at the sudden pain and bleeding. Looking down, his face contorted into confusion, pain and fear, he then looked around with the same confusion, it slowly faded as if he remembered and accepted it. At the notice of how naked he was and the burning searing pain in his groin, he realised with a harrowing cry of what had happened, the mutilation that those animals had done. But something hushed his mind, telling him his vengeance had been carried out.

He felt the slight of magic; realising he was naked to the elements, he used the smallest of his magic, trying not to over use it, like a muscle that'd been unused for years, and conjured a pair of familiar, simple leather pants and boots.

Once the pants and boots were on, he fled with the speed of a hunted fox.

The wolves stayed behind, finishing their easy meals.

* * *

**MORE A/N**: AND THE TABLES, OH DID THEY TURN. Loki's little dark passenger, yes. Have a shock blanket and some tea. And again, I am sorry. The writer needs to be committed.

**IMPORTANT QUESTION (recap)**: in the next couple of chapters when we get back to Stark Tower, are there any ideas for Loki and Avengers interactions, I don't have enough, then shit hits the fan again (it may or may not involve Loki beating the shit out of Thor).

I don't deserve your love. But I love you, for dealing with this shit and everything else. Have cookies and chocolate and HAPPY EASTER AND MAY LOKI (jesus) RISE AGAIN. I will leave now and burn in all nine levels of Hell :)

((on another note: I will be editing all the other chapters and making em' shiny Cap'n's))


	20. The Valkyrie From Upon High

**A/N**: Again I'd like to thank everybody, I'm always floored by your comments. This is now officially an AU after seeing the Thor: The Dark World trailer (you know all you cared about was the hair) and Iron Man 3 today (which you need to see, because I nearly peed myself with excitement), but none the less I will continue, as slow as it may be. There are no spoilers in this chapter by the way.

**WARNINGS**: description of injuries

**Chapter 20: The Valkyrie From Upon High**

* * *

_Like a sentence of death  
I got no options left  
I got nothing to show now  
I'm down on the ground  
I got seconds to live  
And you can't go now_

Furious Angels – Rob D

* * *

"All-Father!" someone shouted, their voice carrying urgency and a promise of bad news.

The king sat atop his throne, spear in hand. His aura set everyone's backs straight as he overlooked his people. Many where people telling him his troubles, lately there hadn't been anything of the type, all seemed at peace and calm, there hadn't been any word of the Vanir either. So he sat. He looked to the flustered man as he ran into the hall, fear in his eyes. He got a few feet away from the dais' steps before he fell to his knees as if he carried a heavy weight, bowing. The man was panting and sweating.

"What is the matter?" the king eyed him carefully.

The young looking man looked up slightly, "I bring grave news about the mercenaries, All-Father," he quickly dropped his head as if he were about to be punished.

The king gestured for him to speak to him quietly. The man stood hesitantly and stepped as close as he could to the steps without touching.

"They have all been killed, a massacre or an animal attack in the low lying valleys."

"Vanir?" the king asked, tone strong and unwavering.

"Not sure your highness, possibly, it could have been wolves but I wouldn't know how many wolves could take down a whole platoon," his look was haunted, "No one was left."

"What of their… payment?" he hesitated on the last word even as he was visibly fuming. His eyes of Asgard that didn't include Huginn and Muninn were trustworthy men that knew of the mercenaries' payment of the disgraced prince of Asgard.

The man looked uneasy at the question and hesitated, "There were no signs of him your highness."

Odin was silent a few moments, his slowly growing temper becoming more and more prominent. Eventually he roared his anger, standing and leaving the throne room. The whole room of five guards and stewards flinched at the outburst and expected someone to pay quite dearly. Odin knew he should have kept the boy.

…

For the bright beacon that never sleeps, the metropolis of New York City was surprisingly quiet, only the sound of the occasional taxi and the dripping of water off of gutters made the soundtrack to the lowly parts of the city. On the ground animals scurried around, in alley ways those who couldn't afford it slept in makeshift homes. New York could be so shiny, yet in its bowels, in the alleys it was dirty, grimy and dark. The night was cold and darker than usual.

It was here in the dark, dirty shadows of the alley ways and back streets that a woman lay limp. The body was battered, bruised and broken as it lay in a puddle, in the dark it could've been blood or water or both. After long moments of being as close to death as any living thing could be, she silently gasped like a drowning man, flying up to clutch at whatever she could, eventually wrapping her arms around her stomach and drawing in her knees. Hesitantly, the far too skinny woman, stood up. She was covered head to toe in blood, like she was birthed straight from hell, blood that covered scars and wounds. From the waist up she wore nothing except her mattered blood soaked hair. Amongst all the crimson, fiery green eyes stood out, confused, shaky and scared.

She stumbled drunkenly and confused of her surroundings, almost fearful. She was a stranger to the dark, nearly uninhabited parts of the city. The woman looked up with green eyes as if looking for constellations that were blanketed out by clouds and light or seeking divine intervention. For several moments she stared at the sky, swaying and looking even more lost, confusion flashing across her sharp features.

…

It was 2:30 in the morning and the hospital, even in the ER, was quiet. Quiet being a few injuries from a minor car accident, a motorcyclist with road rash, a kid who thought it would be a good idea to go for a midnight snack and get his hand caught in a literal cookie jar, a couple cases of pneumonia and a hypochondriac who thought he had the bubonic plague. All in all, a quiet night.

Abigail, or Abby, a short blonde haired, pixy looking woman, to the staff and friends, was on duty and kind of peeved at being on the staff this evening/morning. Her girlfriend had plans for their anniversary that were shot to shit once Abby was called in on the night shift. Abby just sat at the reception desk, propping her arm up, resting her chin on her hand and watching the clock tick by. It incidentally didn't work, only making everything seem to go by longer. The hypochondriac was hassling her about his diagnosis, she kept on telling him that the bubonic plague was nearly impossible to get in a first world country and that his symptoms didn't check out.

He was about to leave, threatening to sue the hospital for malpractice and whatever else he could think of, when the sliding doors to the ER opened. A tall woman, looking like a war zone from hell, limped inside. Abby's eyes went wide, staring at the far too large amount of blood that covered the woman and dripping onto the pale lime green of the hospital floor. She staggered inside slightly, looking dazed and confused at where she was. A few more steps and she coughed up a large amount of blood before collapsing to the floor.

She rushed over, nearly pushing the annoying hypochondriac out of the way. Abby was the first one to the fallen body, followed by a few of the other staff. Just by scanning her eyes over the body, she could tell that her breathing had become shallow and erratic, that she was only dressed in unusual looking leather pants and boots and that red hid the colour of her skin.

"We need to get her to triage!" Abby shouted and everyone around her rushed to get medical ready. An older nurse brought a gurney while Abby and a male nurse got ready to lift her onto it. She checked the woman's vitals before giving the all clear to lift her up with haste onto the gurney. Abby noticed the far too large a gash that went a fair distance across her stomach that gaped open. There was just too much blood and she didn't know where to apply the pressure.

"Someone take over the desk!" she yelled as she made her way down with the unconscious woman, applying pressure to the biggest looking wound, the gaping fucking wound that looked as if it should've disembowelled the women.

The blood was already soaking the white sheets. Abby checked her pupils (her eyes were striking, an unusual green and it took Abby a quick moment to just admire them), normal dilation which was a good sign, no brain damage. Once the gurney had entered triage, multiple doctors and nurses started routinely checking her with speed. As it turned out, the blood wasn't just hers, most of it wasn't really but she was still bleeding rather profusely. She had been through significant trauma; physically it was obvious but when, or if, she woke up (or bloody survived!) it might be a far more mental trauma, who knows what kind of therapy this chick might need for whatever had happened to her. What the fuck happened?

"We need to clean the blood off and sew her up."

The nurses started cleaning away the blood from her face, revealing strikingly sharp features, deathly pale skin and a myriad of scars in varying degrees severity, some healing, some healed and some new. The scars weren't by accident, they all seemed to have been done by something sharp and some even seemed to be branding marks.

"Who would do something like that?" one of the younger nurses said, he was eyeing the scars on her face, his eyes following the long ones from the corners of her mouth, nearly to her ears.

"She looked like she was very beautiful," the older nurse remarked solemnly, cleaning the blood off of the rest of her body as fast as she could.

Cleaning her up revealed even more scars, everyone seeming to grow fractionally more horrified with each discovery, each bit of marred flesh and grotesque blemish. Whoever would do such a thing to another living thing baffled her. What satisfaction could anyone get from disfiguring someone in such a way?

They cleaned the front of her as best all they could; they stabled her stomach up after they figured there wouldn't be enough medical thread. They found, once they cleaned her up, that there was (what looked like) a stab wound just above her hip and many more on her chest, on her arms, across her shoulders and even some that looked like arrows and one that was barely healed that went from under her neck to her naval (it looked more like a medical scar than all the others), there were many bruises on top of the scars. Her lips were scarred and torn, cheeks bruised and scratched, the Glasgow smile seemed to be old but reopened, there were jagged lines running down her temple and one over her brow and cheek; she looked like a war zone and that was just the front of her.

Abby was sitting behind her patting her matted hair as if it would give the unconscious woman peace or maybe herself. She felt like crying, this was the worst thing she'd ever seen and it sickened her to the core that anyone could have done this to another human being. She was relatively new to the job and so far she was going to need help. Even one of the doctors who were here looked traumatised, and he was a former Army doctor.

Eventually they turned her over to check the damage on the other side.

"Mother of god," there was a shock gasp as they saw her back.

It was basically nothing, scar tissue and burns. Her spine was visible through the broken mangled flesh that constituted as skin. How was this woman even alive? Was she whipped or torched? It looked like weeks, maybe months of abuse, torture. Abby heard someone throw up behind her. One, or several, things that stood out as well were the jutting pieces of wood and metal in her back.

"Get me the pliers," she ordered.

Gingerly, she pulled one out. What the—

"Swab," she said as what she took out made the wound bleed.

She stared at it in confusion, it was an arrow head. Why was an arrow head stuck in her back? It wasn't a normal one either, it was in the wrong era by the looks of it.

"Did someone use her as archery practice?" she heard from one of the other nurses.

"It looks like," she dropped it in the bowl with a clink and got the other six out of her back with little trouble. But it still made her sick when she looked at the mangled flesh that was her back.

There were still her pants to consider and Abby only hoped that there was nothing too severe. But nothing seemed to go her way this evening, as everything turned from boring to absolute fuck storm, very quickly.

"Scissors," someone else ordered getting ready to remove the leather pants, the boots were long since gone. All her possessions (which were nothing, except boots) were in a corner. The other nurse started cutting away the leather carefully before Abby heard the scissors drop to the ground. He spoke a Latin prayer before he did the sign of the Trinity, "May the lord have mercy on her soul," he gasped as he gazed at her.

"What?" Abby demanded.

She rounded to the side before her mouth went a gape, "Sweet fuck," she nearly vomited at the sight, nearly bringing her hand through her hair, then covering her mouth with the back of her arm.

She brought a hand down on the raven haired woman's thighs, inspecting the burns that were between her legs. It was horrifying to say the least and everything seemed to go quiet, everything seemed muffled. There was basically nothing left of her vagina, it was all burnt away and it was still raw.

"Who the fuck would do something like this._ How is she alive_ and how the fuck is this stuff happening in a first world country?" Abby's anger was justified. This was inexcusable, this was torture. No one deserved this treatment.

After the sickening discovery after sickening discovery; she was clean, as clean as she could be. Red marks marred her and bruises littered just about every part of her body that wasn't scarred. She had dislocated shoulders, broken bones, fractured skull and a severely broken pelvis, going by the bruises and the odd distortion of her hips. By the grace of a deity, she was still alive and breathing but her future looked bleak as recovery was concerned; she was going to be scarred for life, physically and mentally. With how gorgeous she was, she'd have a hard time coping.

The mysterious woman lay on a simple bed that'd be wheeled into a room shortly, bandaged up; one long one wound around her waist, gauze on 90% of her back, a white bandage around her head and many more patches scattered over her body and arms. Abby chose to be the one to keep an eye on her vitals before taking her to a room where she'd be kept an eye on. The bed was in a room that seemed more like a morgue, and going by the pallor of her skin, she looked like she belonged. She was hooked up to an IV and a blood drip, with the amount of blood she lost, well, death would welcome her easily. But looking upon her made Abby's eyes sting with unshed tears and looked away.

She decided to clean her hands for the umpteenth time, listening to the steady beat of heart monitors, before she turned to check on the black haired woman's vitals. But she stopped. She must've been seeing things; she palmed at her eyes, trying as if to clear a fog. She must've been up for too long because she wasn't looking at the mysterious woman, but a man with similar features, if not sharper. He still had the scars and bandages on but like a slow tide, the scars faded. She stared wide eyed, confused and shocked. In her place was a raven haired man with flawless skin and flawless features. He was hooked up to the IV and drip, just as the woman had. Somehow he looked nearly identical to her.

Abby was confused, very, very confused. She quickly turned to drop her gloves in the bin before thoroughly examining the situation that had presented itself on the bed. She turned back to him/her, scanning over the skin. She put on fresh gloves before brushing her hands over the pale and smooth skin. She furrowed her brows, studying the body intensely. She laid her hand on his stomach and checking the wound underneath the bandage, but there were none.

Green eyes shot open and the person on the bed gasped a lung full of air as if they had been starved, chest rising like he was being exorcised. It started to look like he was about to hyperventilate when he started to get it under control.

"Are-?" she was about to ask if he was alright when he all of a sudden the man launched at her.

She fell to the ground with the stranger putting all of his weight on her chest, one hand on her neck, nearly chocking her and one on her mouth to keep from screaming. She was trembling under his weight and gaze, even more so when he brought his face inches in front of hers, eyes a poisonous and angry green; there was something about them that seemed pained, scared, confused and angry.

"Are you here to hurt me?" he hissed lowly in a deep, accented voice, that made the woman beneath him quake with fear.

Abby whimpered under his hand, shaking her head fervently. She could feel tears stinging her eyes.

His face came even closer, black hair brushing the side of her face. He stared at her for a few long moments, gouging her response, seeing if it were a lie, "Where am I?" he asked quietly, still managing to sound threatening.

He lifted the hand over her mouth slightly, to allow her to speak, "Y-you're in a hospital," she stammered as a reply. She was about to scream for help but the stranger's hand clasped on her mouth again.

"Hospital…" he rose his head away from hers, sitting up straighter and looking around the sterile room, "I am on Midgard," he said incredulously after a few moments and looked down at her with just as much confusion.

She didn't answer, she didn't know what Midgard was. The stranger was quiet for a moment, mumbling to himself, "You saved me?" he asked slowly, sounding even more incredulous, "I hurt your people so badly and a mortal woman saved me," his face came in front of hers quickly, trying to study her reaction again.

The woman below him shook her head, tears about to stream down her face. She felt like she was going to die by a crazy naked guy.

"No, you did. As best a mortal could do," as if he realised what he was doing he gently started to let go of her, hand moving away from her mouth and neck. He put his finger to his mouth in a silencing gesture.

She could finally breathe, even if they were panicked.

"Where are my clothes little woman?" his voice was far calmer, though he seemed a little skittish, "My pants and boots?"

He slowly stood away from her and stepping as far away from her as possible. He looked around the room as if it were something alien. He looked scared and lost.

"I-in, the garbage, by the corner," she pointed aimlessly in the direction it was at, not bothering to get off the floor.

He looked aimlessly around until he found what he was looking for. He started to rummage around, looking like a homeless man searching for food. Wide, tensed shoulders relaxed as he pulled the tattered and bloodied pants. He almost looked at them fondly before whispering something into the leather and picking up the boots. He stood back and stared at the woman with kind and pained eyes. Green eyes darted side to side and there was some rapid mumblings to himself for a short moment until he started talking, it wasn't to anyone in particular. He shot Abby a sidelong glance before he moved his head to face her.

"I am Loki, and I am forever in your debt," he was sincere, for the most part. A dim golden glow started to twist its way around his legs as he bowed to her; the pants and boots in his hands disappearing before the stranger was wearing them.

Abby didn't move as she stared at what was happening. The stranger's eyes glowed an unnatural green before there was a slight taste of ozone and a small flash of green before her eyes.

Then the room was empty, with no raven haired stranger. It was then that she had a panic attack.

…

The magic Loki used only got him to an alleyway a few meters away from the hospital. He lent against the wall, sweating and heaving until her threw up blood. He nearly collapsed to the ground while tearing off all the bandages. The use of his magic had worn him out and wasted it away, leaving his glamors shimmering dangerously close to what he truly looked like; a horned, blue beast. His heart beat along with his rapid breaths, he tried to calm himself in a last ditch effort to get his magic under controlled.

He was confused as to why a mortal woman would help him, or how he even got to the hospital. The last thing he remembered was running through the gate; a warm and calming light that spread through his whole body before he crashed and everything burned. The god didn't know whether to curse or praise his luck at where he'd landed among the nine realms; he could have easily have been taken to the realm of the dwarves, and he was sure that he would not be treated kindly there. But Midgard may have been no better, maybe even worse, he enraged the mortals that lived in the realm with his stratagem to conquer and enslave it. If they found him he may have to deal with their own punishment. He could plead all he wanted, that he had been punished by a higher being than these weak mortals.

But that woman. He was still confused though. She helped him, tried to heal his wounds and yet she did not know. She had not recognised him; she only seemed confused and scared. Scared of a mere stray that had wondered in off the Midgardian streets and into the place of healing. And he spared her, for she helped a god, even if she didn't know of it.

He could feel the voices clawing at his mind again, scratching away after being so quiet.

Loki swayed on the spot, vomiting blood yet again. It was still too early to move from his efforts and rested against the wall with a pained expression. Even though the glamor was there he could feel the scars, bound never to heal; only in a thousand years would they seem to fade, but for now, like everything else, he would hide them. But it wasn't working.

"No, no," he gasped as he looked down at his hands, turning blue, "No!"

He collapsed in on himself clutching and clawing, trying to get the blue away. This can't happen. The worst possible thing to happen was that. He'd used too much magic and could feel his mind screaming at him, he was quickly losing his control. His breathing coming even shorter with too many things trying to take hold of his mind, shouting things, whispering things that seemed louder than the screaming, accusations, curses, threats, blaming, all of them blaming him for his weakness and reminding him of what he was, of what happened. Images flashed through his mind, violent and dark and he just wanted it all to stop, to stop the screaming and the deafening silence, everything contradicting itself.

He never noticed himself when he started to bash his head against the cold, wet brick wall, trying to silence all of things in his head. And everything stopped in a sudden silence that didn't hurt, his head ached and his skin was back to the pale complexion he was used to. His breath that ghosted the air, slowed and he stood up. He still swayed but not dangerously so.

When he stood firmly, he ran and he hid. Going to hide away in the shadows of a place the All-Father wouldn't even think of looking, because Loki was sure he was looking. Loki's punishment never finished and he hoped that if he hid long enough everyone would forget, forget a fallen prince and monster.

* * *

**MORE A/N**: There you have a look at it all by a medical person. I don't know where this came from tbh.

**IMPORTANT QUESTION (recap)**: in the next couple of chapters when we get back to Stark Tower (next chapter), are there any ideas for Loki and Avengers interactions (I have some written down, I need a few more days worth), I don't have enough, then shit hits the fan again (it may or may not involve Loki beating the shit out of Thor (this beating may or may not involve teeth... and blood)).

Also, as said before: when your country gets Iron Man 3 and you get the chance, watch it. Watch it like you've never watched anything in your life.


	21. Wasting The Days Away: Part I

**DISCLAIMER: Do not own.**

**A/N**: Here have a long chapter for fabulous and beautiful readers and reaching 300 reviews. I do hope you enjoy this one ;) The week starts off on a low note, overcast Monday (looking a bit gloomy there, Karl) and greatly improves by Wednesday. I'll inform you of things at the end.

**THIS CHAPTER IS IN THE PRESENT NOW**, sorry if the last couple of chapters confused anyone. Chapters 17, 18, 19 and 20 were from past events.

**WARNINGS:** It's M for a good reason this chapter.

**Chapter 21: Wasting the Days Away – Part I**

* * *

_I was looking for a breath of life  
A little touch of heavenly light  
And all the choirs in my head sing  
No, oh, oh_

_To get a dream of life again  
A little vision of the start and the end  
And all the choirs in my head sing  
No, oh, oh_

Breath of Life – Florence + The Machine

* * *

**Monday**

It was a couple of weeks since the Avengers (sans golden god), had come into Stark Tower. They had begrudgingly accepted that Loki, (former, check that) criminal and god of mischief and/or chaos, though he didn't seem very mischievous or chaotic for that matter, was living in the same tower. And just as Tony had informed them all, he hadn't even really shown his pretty face around the tower, keeping to himself and no one else, except Tony.

The engineer still hadn't seen much of him, only glimpses of the raven haired man wandering around like a ghost and he even came and sat in Tony's lab slash workshop when he was working, usually when Tony was talking to himself about ideas and scientific formula. It was concerning and refreshing to see him in his workshop but he did nothing but sit. The god had quite the penchant for vanishing acts as well, sitting in the workshop then all of a sudden not sitting in the workshop. The notes kept coming though, Tony asking how he was and Loki generally answering simply in an elegant hand, or asking for more apples.

Earlier on Loki had seen Tony far more than the engineer knew about. Many times he'd become part of the shadows and snuck around. It was only later that he made his magic a little more detectable.

And to Tony's immense appreciation, there hadn't been any horror story, live action dreams.

Everyone was starting to get comfortable when the god started to show up more. It was Monday morning and Tony didn't actually sleep that night, or the night before that, trying to figure out a way to keep an eye on Loki without having to follow him everywhere—It was hard to do that too—and upgrade his babies/robots. He had JARVIS, DUM-E, Butterfingers and You to keep him company, so he wasn't alone.

He stood in the kitchen, rummaging through the pantry, looking for something to eat. Being up early enough it'd be a proper breakfast; god knew he needed one now and then. Cooking something was out of the question, it took him three hours to make a shit omelette, so a that was a nope. It was light out and the sun shone through the wall to ceiling window in the dining room, the kitchen and dining room were joined by the open floor plan, allowing the natural light into the kitchen as well. There was a slight smell of ozone that Tony knew who it was from and had gotten used to Loki popping out of nowhere, he'd stopped getting startled after nearly the hundredth time of the black haired god doing as he pleased.

"Want something to eat?" Tony asked, back turned, still looking through the large cupboard of food.

There was no answer, which didn't surprise him much. Tony decided on cereal, because he couldn't be assed to do anything else and his lacking in the culinary arts. He got out something bland for himself (cornflakes) and some cheerios for the DID vampire, pouring Loki's first and going over to the dining table. Loki sat at the farthest end of the twelve person table, head resting on crossed arms, looking out the window. Whenever the god looked out the window, he looked calmer, as if looking over a busy city made him peaceful. And Tony smiled at it, because Loki was a mesmerising creature when he gazed out, as if he could see what New York looked like centuries ago, no busy streets, no buildings, only the past. It was in moments that Loki gazed at things, that Tony could see the ancientness.

Tony placed the bowl and spoon in front of Loki, getting a confused and surprised look from him as he sat up straighter. It was as if he never heard Tony at all and then it changed as he sat up, from a confused look to a small little smile that spoke volumes, like Tony giving him a bowl of cereal was the one of the kindest things someone had graced him with. But the smile was short lived before his face closed off in what could've been considered as melancholy. Tony wanted so badly for Loki to smile like that and it made him feel odd and slightly melancholy along with his expression.

"You should sleep more," a quiet voice said when Tony turned to head back to the kitchen.

He turned back to Loki, noticing his head bowed down to the oak table, "Yeah, whys that?" he chuckled.

"Great minds need their sleep, things go wrong when the mind doesn't function to its greater facilities," he warned in a surprisingly warm tone.

Tony smiled slightly, looking a little confused at Loki being (to Loki anyway) chatty, "Do I hear concern?" he joked.

Loki looked up at him then, slight apprehension written on his face, not for himself but for the engineer that holed himself up with his inventions. The god looked away again as if he'd done something wrong; he maybe thought that it was stupid to have even said anything at all, cursing himself inwardly.

Tony still smiled at the concern. His next decision was probably due to lack of sleep and a small consumption of alcohol a few hours ago, but all Tony wanted to do was see that little smile again or at least something a little more positive on the angular face.

He bent down, kissing Loki's temple lightly. The raven haired man turned to look at the engineer in shock and Tony nearly cursed himself for thinking it was a good idea. Maybe the first two time were a fluke. Crap. Tony wasn't good at reading people. They were eye level now, Tony mere inches away, staring at crystal green eyes, but Loki didn't look mad but rather confused and intrigued, there was something indecipherable about his expression too. Tony didn't know what he was doing, he should've apologised and left, but it was that indecipherable emotion on Loki's face that kept him grounded. Tony inched closer, nearly breathing in the same air. The most beautiful green eyes stared back as his cool breath ghosted over Tony's lips. It wasn't Tony who made the first move, but Loki (which surprised Tony to no end). Soft, cool lips met Tony's in a chaste kiss. Tony's hand made its way to Loki's silky, raven hair, carding calloused fingers through it and Loki holding onto his wrist like it was a life boat. Tony parted shortly after; he looked at Loki still inches away, Loki staring back. The engineer smiled at him before turning to leave.

Tony went back to the kitchen, smile still in place as he went to get his own bowl of cereal, looking back at Loki who had a small smile on his lips and staring down at the food before slowly grabbing the spoon with a slightly shaky hand and eating. It saddened him when the god nearly dropped the spoon and shaking his wrist as if it pained him.

"I promise to sleep, ok? But you have to promise to come out more, alright? Interact," he reasoned, he looked back as he got to the counter, and Loki just shrugged without verbalising an answer.

He poured his own cereal, hearing a chair moving he turned back. Steve had sat across from Loki; it was wide enough that it shouldn't have irked anyone. But Loki seemed to close in on himself, lifting his legs up on the chair and bringing his head closer down to the bowl. More like a scared child (a recurring theme) than a god, Tony thought, at that he sighed; it was good that he hadn't vanished yet and Steve seemed a little cautious too.

"Morning Steve!" the engineer greeted cheerily. After that kiss (which he was still happily confused about) he was adamant that nothing would kill his buzz.

"Morning Tony," Steve smiled back, "You're up early."

A noise came from Loki that nearly sounded like a snicker which nearly made Tony laugh too, "Early bird gets the worm," he nodded back with a smirk.

Steve turned his gaze on Loki and he knew that he seemed a bit uncomfortable about being in communal areas. So far Loki hadn't attacked anyone, other than Tony, he had reservations about the whole idea and warmed up to it quicker than the others. He never really got to talk to him, not that he wanted to.

"Good morning Loki," he greeted tentatively.

There was really no answer from him. The lean body nearly seemed to shake across the table, Steve reached out to try and reassure him of something because he was always taught that, to show some sort of compassion.

"I'm not going to—" his words were cut off as Loki quickly snatched at the blondes wrist before he could touch him, head still bowed to the table and hair covering his face. The grip tightened, making Steve wince, Loki was strong, no one could make the super soldier winch from squeezing his wrist. Tony thought he heard something crack.

"Don't touch," Loki whispered darkly, nearly a growl, and still squeezing the blonde's wrist painfully. Tony was cautious as he made his way over; gazing at Steve's pained face. Well at least he got a first row seat at a personality change, which probably wasn't the best idea, especially if it involved a physical confrontation.

Loki's whole body seemed to twitch and he suddenly let go, drawing his arms around himself, "Sorry," he mumbled, seeming to have turned into a completely different person, at least he hadn't lashed out too much.

Steve cradled his wrist, "That's fine, I won't try to touch you again," he looked to Tony then back to Loki who was still hugging himself.

"Sorry," the dark haired man mumbled again.

Tony came by Loki's side, brushing raven the tresses away from his ears and bending down to whisper something in his ear, hoping to get a reaction from him (a positive one he hoped). Loki was still hugging himself when Tony spoke, not reacting to the engineer's ministrations or words, until he snapped.

"I am not a child that needs codling!" he yelled, standing up suddenly and causing the chair to topple backwards. Tony was lucky he didn't get injured from it all and the day started off so well. Steve watched in mild confusion and horror, slowly standing as if to get ready for a fight. "You stare at me, you talk about me behind my back, you walk around me like I am a vicious beast but pretending that I am not. You are all against me!" he sneered.

"Don't be ridiculous," Tony scoffed.

"No, you are. Your little team here, ready to take me away!" he yelled again, looking like a cornered animal, teeth and claws ready to be used. "Don't," he whispers to himself, pulling at his hair, "No! They lie! They all lie!" he screeched.

He thought that Loki was an open nerve that could and would react to anything, so in reality it wasn't all that surprising.

"Loki, we're not going to take you away," Steve tried to placate.

Tony looked to Steve with wide eyes and just shook his head at the blonde fervently in an aborting gesture, trying to get him to not interact but it was too late. Loki looked to Steve, green eyes a decidedly dangerous colour with an unreadable glint to them, and his face fighting over emotions. In a split second Loki was launching himself at the blonde, trying to claw his way over the table and nearly getting on top of it before Tony was nearly dragging the raven haired man, hissing spittle at an unassuming and, Tony'd dare say scared looking, Steve, away from the table. Loki was cursing something foul, language that'd make a sailor blush. Tony was on the ground as Loki still tried to claw at the super soldier. The green eyed man managed to sock Tony in the nose and split open his lip but he still held strong, even as he felt blood gushing. It was when Loki got his footing again that it started over.

"I will get you Thor! I will gut you like you let minn mǫgr_, minn skuldalið!_" he screeched at a volume that seemed to shake the windows. And it sent Tony reeling.

Loki was back on the table, getting a little further before Tony grabbed at his leg, making him fall to the table top. Steve still looked wide eyed and was now moving closer to the wall behind him. Smart move on the Captain's part. The day had started off so fucking well. The engineer hauled the god back down to the ground, this time sweeping down whatever was on the table with him, there was a distinct sound of something scraping against the wood, which Tony would assume were the god's nails. Steve looked as if he'd seen a ghost or the entirety of World War II flashing before his eyes (what was that about?).

Tony had the seething god in his lap now, arms crossed over Loki's flailing arms. The engineer squeezed, effectively stopping the god's arms from moving, his arms crushed against his chest and hands near his face. He was still writhing in Tony's grip. He must've been fighting inwardly because he was sure if Loki really wanted to he could break free of Tony's hold.

"Calm down," Tony was surprisingly level headed and calm himself as he whispered in Loki's ear. The brown haired man wrapped his legs around the sitting form in front of him. Loki, still moving and trying to wrestle himself free, "Shhh, it's just Steve," he tried to lull into the black hair, "Good ole Captain America," he smiled sadly into the hair, "Captain Steve "Can't Hurt a Fly" Rogers."

Loki slowly stopped moving with Tony murmuring things of reassurance and promises like a mantra. The god was breathing in short, fast bursts with sweat that glistened his forehead and murmuring something about someone not coming to save him.

"It's just Steve," he reassures once he felt the tense arms relax and go limp, "There we go."

It took a few moments before Tony thought it'd be safe to remove his arms from around the limp body. Once he did, he checked on him; he'd passed out and now lay in his arms.

"What the fuck was that?" someone asked quietly and it wasn't Steve.

Tony looked up to see the whole group in the doorway, concerned looks on their faces. He subconsciously started brushing the black hair in his lap, "he just had a bit of a relapse," he informed them, looking down at Loki lying limp with hair plastered to his head and tears drying on his face, "He thought Steve was Thor, I think," his brows furrowing in confusion.

"What happened to your face?" Clint asked, grimacing at him.

Tony rubbed the back of his hand under his nose, getting a lot of blood on his hand and sleeve, I was punched," he said, grimacing down at his hand.

Steve still looked scared and haunted, staring into the middle distance.

"Hey, Steve-y, you ok there super soldier?" Tony asked, looking to Steve with thinly veiled concern.

The blonde jumped out of his trance, "Did you see his face?"

"I was a little busy."

"I-it turned blue, then all scarred, then back to normal," he stammered, looking to Tony with panic and confusion, "What was that?"

"Just a side effect of what's wrong with him," he shrugged, not sure himself.

Tony stood, lifting the surprisingly heavy god up (not long he was light. Even his weight was changing) with him and carrying him out, arms hanging limp. Everyone gave him a wide berth as he exited the room.

"Bruce, with me, if you please," Tony gestured for the scientist to follow kindly, knowing his assistance may be required but there was something pleading and apologetic in his chocolate brown eyes.

Steve hesitated a moment, eyeing Tony as he went past silently, "I'll come too, I think my wrist needs checking."

Tony walked ahead with Bruce and Steve following behind.

…

They got to Bruce's lab that he'd set up on the medical floor, using the chemistry stuff and using whatever space there was. Bruce had been a calm and quiet presence in the tower. There had been no green incidences, which calmed and simultaneously made Tony uneasy. Something was bound to happen and he only hoped that whatever did happen didn't occur in a populated area. Bruce seemed happy and content with whatever peace he was at (because of Loki, Bruce had told him), he also seemed to have gotten a bit of research and work done. Tony wasn't sure what he was working on and didn't know whether he wanted to either.

The engineer placed the limp body in his arms on a medical bed. He looked down inspecting him and still, he felt a twinge of pain at the thought that every waking moment, a once great god, was fighting himself. He wasn't a good a reader of people as Natasha was but he could tell to an extent, by the way that Loki looked at things with a carefully hidden pained expression (one Tony knew too well), that everything hurt. It was as if he constantly lived in a state of perpetual agony and Tony couldn't bear to think about it much less than comprehend it. It kept on going back to what Loki had been through and shuddered at the thought and only wished to see Thor's face or that bastard space Viking king when Tony wailed on them, but then he remembered that he was a simple, lowly, mortal man in a suit of gold titanium alloy, wanting to stand up to quasi-gods. That put a damper on things.

"You're not a simple, lowly, mortal man," a quiet voice murmured, so quiet that Tony nearly didn't hear it.

"What?" the brown eyed man looked around the room—Bruce was mulling around looking for some such thing and Steve was sitting as far away from Loki as humanly possible—then looked down to the body on the bed, the most unusual, sincere and clear green eyes looking back.

"You heard me perfectly well," it was still just as quiet and Tony strained to hear him.

Tony wondered if the raven haired man could read his mind, nearly shocked he tried not to think about anything too incriminating.

"You're not going to get much out of him," he turned to Bruce as he motioned to Loki with his glasses, "especially out cold like that."

The engineer turned back, confused. Loki was just talking to him but when he turned back, Loki hadn't moved, still lying limp on the bed, eyes closed. And Tony had a sudden uneasy feeling. The scientist came over, checking Loki's vitals and pupil dilation Everything someone could do to check on person's health without getting overly intrusive. Once he finished, he gave the god an unusually caring stroke of the hair – hair that seemed greasy and unwashed now. The scientist slash doctor went to Steve now, checking his wrist. He held it in surprisingly gentle hands, scanning over the already bruised appendage.

"How'd this happen?" Bruce looked incredulous at the appendage. He didn't see what had happened and walked in on the scene in the dining room/kitchen when everything had calmed down, "Did you get it stuck under a few tonnes?" he added again, finding his sense of humour and Tony smirked slightly before turning back to the limp body with a small frown, crossing his arms.

"You could say that," Steve mumbled, then winced when Bruce held his wrist.

"Well, it looks like it's broken," the scientist said with a deep frown, "I'd have to x-ray it to make sure. So what happened?" he asked, putting his glasses back on.

Steve sighed, rubbing his neck with the other hand, "I came in to have breakfast, Tony," Steve gestured to him from where he stood across the room, arms crossed, looking down at Loki on the bed, "he was already in the kitchen and… uh, Loki, he was sitting at the dining table…"

Bruce looked up then, over his glasses, looking sceptical, "He was just… sitting there, in clear view of everybody that'd come pass and didn't disappear?"

"He was eating cereal," he replied dumbfounded, more surprised at the domesticity than anything else. Also the fact that all he'd seen Loki eat was a bit of an apple before vanishing.

"Cheerios" Tony mumbles without turning around.

"Right," the scientist drawls, "back to the wrist."

Steve told him what happened, Bruce nodding away and Tony still staring down at Loki. It was when the super soldier started to talk about Loki flipping his shit with confusion and an emotion that had Tony worrying in the back of his mind that Loki's future may be looking shady, that he moved.

"I'll go clean up," Tony mumbled. He headed out, shoulders hunched, giving off an air of dejection and not turning around.

Once Tony had left the room, Steve turned to Bruce, "What's up with him?"

The scientist looked to where Tony had left, then to Loki on the bed, "He blames himself," he replied, going back to x-raying the super soldier's wrist.

"For what?"

Bruce gestured with his head to the god on the bed, "For him," he shrugged at the blonde's confused look, "Well, for what has happened to him, which, I don't actually know what's happened, not really. But he blames himself for allowing Thor to take him," he gestures to Loki again, "back to Asgard and being…" Bruce swallows thickly before concentrating on the x-ray, "you know," he mumbled vaguely.

Steve nodded but still confused as to why Tony would feel so guilty.

"He also feels responsible for whatever Loki does as well. Anything negative towards the team, that Loki does, reflects badly on Tony. That's what I think anyway," Bruce shrugged again.

"That sounds ridiculous," Steve said, brows furrowing.

"You'd be surprised. I haven't been around him all that much, but despite his macho, narcissistic, sarcastic and annoying exterior, he has a lot of problems," he said truthfully, looking at the x-ray now, Steve was still getting used to how fast technology had come, "Looks like you've got a distal radius fracture, nothing too severe, just a small fracture," his warm eyes went back to the super soldier, "Don't be too critical of Tony, Steve. And don't tell me you don't," he looked at the blonde knowingly over his glasses, smirking when Steve looked away, "Don't hold it against him, or Loki for that matter. Loki has problems he can't help with and I'd know."

Steve still seemed to be unsure, which was an emotion that seemed to be permanently etched on his face at that moment, "I still don't trust him though," he pointed to Loki.

He was probably right to, especially after that morning. Bruce was still questioning how Steve felt up to the challenge of being in the same room as the former villain, let alone sitting at the same table.

"Probably for the best."

Bruce wrapped up the broken wrist. Knowing Steve's super soldier serum genes, he'd heal in half the time (if not less) than a normal, more mortal fracture. Loki did a number on it, he really did. There must've been a great deal of force in the god's grip, but then that came with the territory, being a god and all.

"Okay, you're all good to go," Bruce patted the blonde's shoulder, "Since you've had the serum, you should heal far more rapidly," the shy scientist added, "Be careful for a couple of day, no strenuous activity."

Steve just nodded and left, thanking Bruce on the way out and giving a small smile. He mulled over what Bruce had said, but didn't quite know what to do with the information.

* * *

**Tuesday**

The rest of Monday Bruce kept tabs on Loki and his vitals as best he could (he was doing well, he wasn't sure as to how or what had caused his fit apart from what Steve had told him), and there wasn't much word from anyone else either. Bruce liked that, the peace and quiet. He wasn't the best for social interactions and lots of people made him uneasy, so the quiet was definitely good.

Tony however, wanted to hang around when everyone went back to what they were doing, though he tried to be as discreet as possible about it. Bruce had come into the lab early in the morning (despite Loki's strange magic and the suppressing of the Hulk, he still had trouble sleeping) and found Tony in the lab, his split lip cleaned, bruise across his nose, watching the god like a hawk. After a few moments of the scientist watching Tony, he made his presence known. It startled Tony a bit, he was flustered for a moment, just saying he was checking up and promptly left. How long he'd been there, Bruce didn't know.

So after he'd bumped into Tony, he continued with his work. He was pretty sure he had a breakthrough with what he was doing, an idea that could possibly improve Loki's situation greatly.

…

"Yes."

Tony walked into the lab at around midday. He hadn't gotten any sleep the night before so he kept watch of Loki in the quiet lab until Bruce showed up in the wee hours. Now though, the god sat on a bench, knees swinging like a kid, and following Bruce with his eyes. Loki looked like hell, pale skin, dark bags under his eyes and a slight tremor to his hands.

"There could be some side effects—"

"If it will help, I care not," despite his sunken demeanour, Loki's voice was hard.

"What's this then?" Tony asked at the unfolding scene, strolling in.

Bruce rubbed the back of his neck.

"The good doctor here seems to have a solution to my overall health dilemma," Loki's head rolled to the side, glancing at Tony. He stared for a moment, an unreadable expression flitting across his face before turning back to Bruce.

"Possible," Bruce countered.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Well yes, but there may be some severe side effects with the trial run," he reasoned seriously.

Bruce had been working for a while on this, in order to help Loki's problem. Mixing drugs in order to get a suitable combination for medication. So far he'd altered some dexamphetamine, fluoxetine paroxetine, amitriptyline with a little bit of bupropion and every other drug the FDA could approve or disapprove of, and made some different batches with different mergers. If those didn't work he'd have to bump it up to monoamine oxidase inhibitors. He was still adamant about giving Loki them, technically he'd be a clinical trial and that would never sit well. The FDA would tan his hide if they got a whiff of him playing chemist.

"Well what are you giving him?" Tony asked, hiding his concern.

"Just some altered combinations of paroxetine, fluoxetine, bupropion, amitriptyline, dexamphetamine and a whole lot of other drugs, but I'd prefer if I had some more time and tested it with his blood," he tried to reason earnestly.

It took a moment of Tony looking in deep thought, trying to remember what the drugs were used for, until he spoke up again, "So basically you're gonna give him hard-core Prozac," he nearly laughed at the idea.

"In theory yes."

"So a super antidepressant?"

"Well, yes. Also personality disorder depressants, but I'm still not sure it's a good idea—"

"I care not!" Loki nearly yelled, hand outstretched to receive what Bruce had been working on. It was most likely he hadn't understood any of what was said, "If it will aide me, then I will have it. If it is over your cold bodies, so be it," he added in a growl, that ought to have brought fear but the desperation in his eyes outweighed the venom in his words.

"Okay, okay," Bruce raised his hands in a placating gesture, "Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"I'm just making sure," Bruce gestured for him to come closer. It was too late to keep his mouth shut, "I just don't want anything bad to happen. And you're being quiet Tony."

"I'm intrigued," was his simple reply as he watched the interaction.

Loki hesitantly moved closer, arm still outstretched, before Bruce gently grabbed his wrist and gestured for him to sit back on the bench. The god sat back up, while Bruce put on medical gloves and got the equipment for the injection. It was minute but Loki seemed to relax, but when Bruce brought out the needle, he tensed up again.

"Now once I do this though, you'll have to check in with me, alright? It won't do you well if you get sick or it doesn't work," he reasoned.

Tony watched cautiously while Bruce got set up. If it'd help Loki, than it was probably for the best, even if it did work, there was likely room for side effects that could be drastic.

"The FDA are going to hate me," Bruce mumbled before he flicked on a video recorder on his computer, documenting the process and the different compounds.

"Test number 001 of advanced SSRI compounds, batch 01. Soluble solution injection," he said to the camera, writing down notes simultaneously. He looked to Loki, he was hunched over, staring at the ground, before turning the camera to Loki, "Test subject is Loki," he turned the camera back around. "Non-human trial."

He brought over a tray with the needle, the solution and alcohol rub, to where Loki sat. The camera moved with him, keeping him in focus. Tony stood in the corner against the wall, arms crossed and making sure he was in frame.

"If you could…?" he gestured for the god to roll up his sleeve.

The raven haired man did as he was asked, making quick work with shaky hands.

"Thank you," he nodded. The room was silent apart from the whirring and beeping of machines. The scientist rubbed the alcohol on the pale arm, at the joint of the elbow. The scarring on his arm, from his violent breakdown, had all but disappeared, "This may hurt a bit."

Loki merely shrugged but glared down at the needle.

"Starting off on 25 mg," the needle came down and broached the skin easily, with no wince from Loki. Once the needle came out, Bruce rubbed the swab on the bit of flesh that the needle went in, "No reaction to the needle," he mumbled, "It may itch for a bit," he told the god, "But if the area starts to get painful or you're not feeling better or if you're feeling worse, come back here and we'll try a different solution," Loki gave a small nod of his head, "Come back in…" he lifted his wrist to check the time, "six hours and we'll check on the results; tell me if you felt any different, stuff like that. And do eat, what I've given you does not bode well with an empty stomach," he smiled warmly and patted the god's shoulder and returned back to his desk.

"Thank you," Loki murmured, before vanishing again.

"Well, that went well," Tony said. He smiled at the scientist, "I'll be down in the shop Brucie. Keep me posted."

Bruce nodded and went back to studying the formulas and different combinations for what he was sure to be other tests.

"Jarvis?"

"Yes, Dr Banner?"

"Be sure to put all the test videos on a private and secure server."

"Yes, sir."

…

Bruce continued tweaking the formulas, trying to get the best out of the drugs that he had (which was quite a good range). Most of the drugs he was using were rather expensive, with lots of restrictions to boot. He hadn't even realised the time, he was like Tony in that regard; getting slightly enwrapped with his work.

He was fiddling with another dexamphetamine solution, when he turned around and nearly stabbed himself with a pen. Loki sat on the bench looking at the doctor innocently. Loki was silent and nearly gave Bruce a heart attack and it took a lot of effort for him to calm his heart rate down. He hadn't Hulked out yet and planned to keep it that way, again, thanks to Loki.

"Do give me some warning next time," he said, clutching his heart.

"Six hours."

"Pardon?"

"You said 'six hours' and I should return," the god replied.

"Has it been six hours already?" he looked at his watch and it was indeed six hours later, now 6:30 in the evening, "so it is. Anything to report?" he smiled warmly but it fell when Loki didn't react and looked vaguely annoyed more than anything.

"Nothing," he replied in an irritated and slightly disappointed tone.

"'Nothing', what do you mean nothing?"

"Nothing happened, good doctor," the god spat out.

"Hm," he furrowed his brows, "Well I have other ones to try out," Bruce turned the video to record again, "No itchiness from the injection, dizziness, fever?"

"No," Loki replied, looking as if he were far too superior for this type of thing.

On looking to Loki, he looked slightly better; his skin was better than before and the bags had receded.

"Ok, we'll get started with test two then. If you could roll up your sleeve again," Loki did as he did before and so did Bruce, "Test number 002 of advanced SSRI compounds, batch 2. Soluble solution injection," this time the dose had a stronger compound and at a higher dosage he hoped it would be more affective.

Once he finished the injection again he spoke up, "If you could stay close by I could monitor your progress," he asked.

"Fine," he mumbled, crossing his arms. He seemed to have turned petulant and prim, maybe the drugs were working.

…

Over the hours batch 2 seemed to have worked considerably more, Loki's mood swings, along with the new tremor in his hands, had subsided and Bruce found out that the god had a sizeable intellect. Loki seemed interested (feigning indifference) about Bruce's work, picking up on the terminology quickly (despite that though, Loki kept his distance). Bruce was pretty sure he could ask him how an AuTi alloy would react if placed in liquid nitrogen or some other biochemistry pop quiz and he'd ace it. But most of the time the god was quiet.

They ate dinner down there and Bruce monitored Loki's progress. The rest of the night was uneventful.

* * *

**Wednesday**

Confusion.

Confusion was the first thing going through Steve Rogers' head as he made his way into Stark Tower's gym at 0600 sharp with his duffle bag, then wariness. The gym itself was fine, he'd been there plenty of times, but it was who was in the gym and what they were doing that had Steve confused and wary.

Loki was on the ground, shirt thrown carelessly to the side and haired tied up, while he did push ups (_push ups!_). All he wore was a pair of black track suit pants as he did push ups that'd make any General proud. He had so much determination on his face that it looked like he'd pop something.

Slowly he stopped, arms outstretched and supporting all his weight, "Good morning, Captain Rogers," he spoke as if he hadn't just done thirty push ups in 60 seconds.

"Good morning," Steve stared at Loki for a moment and his infuriating little smirk as he held himself up, "Uh, what are you doing?" This was weird because the last time he saw Loki he'd attacked him thinking he was Thor.

"What does it look like Captain?"

"I know _what_ it looks like… but, _why_? And stop calling me Captain, call me Steve or god forbid, Rogers."

The smirk grew, "Not feeling militaristic today, Rogers?"

Steve gave a half-hearted glare, "Not particularly, no. So why are you…," he made a vague hand gesture towards Loki, "doing what you're doing?"

The green eyed man shrugged from his position (that he hadn't moved from, at all), "Doctor Banner requested that I… 'blow off some steam'," Steve nearly laughed at the god's choice of words but then realised it was Loki, being chumy, "I detest taking orders from mortals," he spat out, seeming to have turned to the Loki they all knew, "but I'm adamant about denying the Doctor anything. I'd rather not make him angry," he added flippantly, doing another push up.

Steve nodded slightly, that was one thing he could agree on.

Loki stood up, making the man wary again. He got closer making Steve tense up until Loki had his hand out, he shook it closer to the soldier, trying to get his attention but Steve was stock still, "I'm apologising," Loki prompted, still Steve stared at the hand proffered, "Are all you mortals this dim? –I'm surprised your rag tag team won, Banner, Stark and dare I say it, Romanoff, are the only brains in your little group," he rolled his eyes, "– I'm trying to apologise," he accentuated like he was chiding a child, "You know for…" he waved the hand at Steve's wrist, "that was unintentional on my part," Steve was surprised that he actually looked genuinely sorry… but it was Loki, "Also trying to take over your planet," he added as an afterthought, "No repeat performances on my part, I assure you. Now, shall we shake hands or will you continue to gaze at me unwaveringly like I am some beast about to pounce?"

Steve still stared and was thoroughly confused. Tentatively he reached out his hand (the one Loki had grabbed the other day and crushed in a vice like grip. It still hurt). Loki took the hand with a bizarre and slightly frightening smile, before it vanished and his features turned dark. Suddenly, Loki seemed to tower over Steve. Just as quickly as his features changed, Loki was yanking at Steve's hand and grabbing at his wrist, making the super soldier wince. He nearly panicked, swinging his other to hit Loki but the god was faster and surprisingly stronger. Loki caught it under his arm and bringing the captain a few inches away from Loki's face, it looked as if he was going to kill him. All the light seemed to seep out of the room as green eyes grew ever greener and glared at Steve's.

Then he let go.

The light seemed to return to the room. And Steve's wrist didn't hurt.

"What was that?" he panted angrily, "What did you do?

Loki turned back and started going back to where he was doing the push ups, "I fixed the problem that I had caused and alleviating you of any further pain," he called over his shoulder.

Steve glared at the raven haired man's back before he glanced at his wrist. It didn't hurt. He swiftly undid the bandage to find that there was no bruising. Loki went back to doing his push ups and Steve left without a word, far more confused than when he came into the room. Leaving made Steve miss Loki's pained expression, and the drop of blood that came out of his nose as he soldiered on with the workout in a brutal fashion.

…

Steve made his way down to Tony's workshop, he had a feeling the engineer hadn't slept all that much. It was probably best that he go to Tony if had anything to do with Loki. Clint would've shot him, Nat also and Bruce was fine in the confines of his lab. He made his way down the stairwell that led to the basement slash workshop, still wringing his wrist, that Loki had miraculously healed while simultaneously looking as if he were about to kill him. The workshop itself was a few floors down from the gym. Once he got there he was correct in that Tony hadn't really gone anywhere else except his shop. He knocked on the glass as hard as he could without breaking it (Tony had a tendency to have loud music playing, he also hadn't given access to anyone other than Pepper. He said he would've given it to Rhodey but he hadn't come to visit). The door opened automatically and all Steve heard was Tony rambling on to his strange robots.

"Move out of the way."

There was a whir of machinery.

"I know I told you to help, but you can't even do that, can you?" the engineer walked over to where Steve was, grease and oil on his hands and arms as he grabbed a rag, cleaning up as best he could. Steve feared for Tony's mental health sometimes.

There was a disappointed whir from the machine again.

He crossed his arms, now in front of Steve, and then turned back around to look at the machine, "Oh, be quiet and cry me a coolant river. Hey Steve," he turned back, "How may I help you this evening?"

"Morning," Steve corrected. He glanced at Tony's split lip, it wasn't that bad and neither was the bruising on his nose, it was almost completely gone.

Tony looked taken aback for a second, "Really? Jarvis, time?"

"_6:15 in the morning, sir_," The phantom voice still managed to make Steve jump.

"So it is. What can I do for this fine morning, Capsicle?"

"Something weird has happened," the confused look hadn't really left his face.

"Steve, you are a soldier from the 1940's and on permanent super steroids," Tony raised his eyebrows at him, "how much weirder do you think things could get?"

"No, Loki. Something weird with Loki, I don't know, something has happened," he argued, face stern.

Tony groaned and rubbed his face hard then pulled at his hair, "Oh, come on!" he grumbled. Tony went past him quickly and started for the stairs, "What has he done this time? Where is he?"

Steve followed close behind, going at the same fast pace. The engineer seemed to be panicked, "He's in the gym but…"

"The gym," he groaned, "Why is he in the gym? God damn it!"

Steve couldn't get in a word edge wise as Tony made his way to the gym, mumbling all the way there; something about not being paid enough or not having enough coffee. They eventually came to the gym, Tony peeked his head inside before coming to a halt.

"What," his voice confused and slightly muffled by the door being half closed on him.

"What?" Steve pushed Tony through and both were now in the room.

Loki was still on the hardwood floor of the gym, doing push ups, this time facing away from the door.

"Well _damn_," Tony nearly leered with raised brows. He then turned to Steve fully, looking royally annoyed, "I thought it was something life threatening, like he lashed out at someone. You nearly gave me a heart attack, Steve. Steve, a heart attack," he looked seriously at the super soldier.

"I said it was weird, not life threatening," he argued.

Tony turned and watched for a moment as the god rose and fell again, "Well this is…" the engineer swallowed thickly, "yeah, this _is_ weird," Tony was feeling a little hot under his black singlet. He was happy to admit behind closed doors that he'd… dabbled (he had a crush on the good ole captain for a while and had a few flings back in the past. He also suspected Pepper knew) and Loki certainly was something else. He'd also kissed him, so… yeah. Watching Loki (a god, which was definitely an apt description) dip up and down like a pro; he was surprisingly well built for someone that was as skinny as he… lean. Tony had seen him before without a shirt, but that was with less than stellar conditions, this was something different, this was exertion and taught muscle under alabaster skin. A good kind of sweat.

"Hey Tony, you ok, you're looking a little red?" Steve's face came in front of his and his little maybe (not really) crisis was cut short, it was only a crisis since he kept denying everything to everyone.

"I'm just a little hot—Is it hot in here? It's hot isn't it?" he babbled.

"_Stark_," a smooth, silky voice basically hummed, sending pleasant chills up Tony's spine. Loki stopped and stood up gracefully.

_God, those pants hang low, don't they?_ Tony thought, he really should've gotten him pants that fit.

"Just the mortal I wanted to see," the god said smoothly, "The gym's all yours now, Captain. Stark," he gestured with his hand for Tony to follow.

Tony looked on for a moment, "Seems I'm needed, Steve," he shrugged, "Do you need me?"

"No," Steve was already going down to the punching bag, "You should come to the gym sometime, might relive some of your tension. Also… you're getting kind of… pudgy."

Tony gasped in mock outrage, that wasn't quiet mocked, "Anthony Edward Stark is not _pudgy_! Rude," he said to Steve's chuckling back.

…

Tony made his way out of the gym and in the direction Loki had headed. Whatever mood Loki was in was definitely a good one, maybe he'd be able to talk to him and get him to speak (or write) more than one word, he seemed chatty today. Maybe Bruce's drug concoction had actually worked, so far, no mood swings or personality changes.

He'd made his way down a small corridor and still no sign of the god. That was until he was forced against the wall, Loki's arms on either side of his shoulders on the wall and body as close as humanly possible to Tony's without actually touching. Tony felt a little fearful (and a little bit aroused. God, he needed to get laid) at the look the god was giving him, like Loki was about the skin him alive for whatever slight he may have caused.

Tony swallowed thickly and licked his lips quickly. Loki's eyes were very, very green. His skin also looked a healthier colour. Tony's head was level with the god's neck, a very nice neck too. Jesus. _Danger Will Robinson_. Then everything went to shit when he got mere inches away from Tony's face.

"You know," oh good, he was going to talk, much better than death, "I know what you do," he purred at Tony's ear then came into view, looking like a cat toying with some kind of rodent, "When you touch yourself."

"Wh-what?" he stammered, voice airy and shocked. He could feel a blush rising.

"Don't think I don't see what you do when I'm in the shadows, when you don't know I'm around," he smirked fully, more like a shark now.

_Danger Will Robinson, danger!_ Tony knew he was in deep doo do. It was kind of creepy knowing that Loki had seen him jerk off and nobody should judge him for that, times could be desperate. Someone as renown a playboy as Tony was used to getting laid on a more than regular basis, having a bit of a dry spell, he resorted to his right hand.

"Who do you think of?" he crooned, "That tall strawberry blonde," Loki's whole body changed, as did his face, into someone Tony knew far too well. Pepper. She stood there mere inches away from his face, but it didn't look right, like the skin was too tight, too fake.

Tony gaped at the mock Pepper.

"Is she moaning beneath you, tight and wet," his voice was still Loki's and the smile Loki's too. Well hadn't this gone completely weird, "_Tony_" he moaned in a mock voice of hers, "Or do you think of me," his whole body changing back to shirtless, sweaty Loki, "When you stroke yourself, long and languid" the god's eyes closed and he bit his bottom lip in the most obscene of ways, "do you think of me," he all but purred, making Tony shiver, "as you pound into me, taking me. Am I begging for you to _fuck_ me, moaning your name," he ground his hips into the engineers, "_Tony, oh god, Tony_," Loki moaned whoreishly. Tony was sure he was going to need a change of pants, "Or do I use your real name. _Anthony!_" he sighed yet again. Loki's hand came to balm at the significant tent in the engineer's jeans, making him keen, "Do you think of me?" he murmured, a hairs breadth away from Tony's lips.

Tony nearly moaned, eyes rolling back, "_Christ_. I will now," he said with unsteady breath, imagining Loki, sweaty and writhing beneath him. What the fuck was happening and where did horny Loki come from? Where was he earlier, oh right, having space issues. What happened to that Loki?

Loki's lips ghosted over his. This day was _bizarre_, like Twilight Zone bizarre and Tony had gone down the rabbit hole far enough to think he was dreaming. Tony put it down to Bruce's medical concoction, he was liking it. His brain short circuited when cool lips crushed against his own in a bruising and demanding kiss. Tony's whole body melted with the contact. This was amazing, was all Tony's brain offered him, along with a raging hard on. Loki's whole body was flush against his as he took full control and Tony let him as he brought his hands up to the black hair that was still in its pony tail. He opened his mouth with a moan, allowing the god's tongue to dip into his. Tony brushed his own tongue against the god's, tasting him; it reminded him of snow for some bizarre reason, but then having his life sucked out of him by a hugely gratifying make out session with a god, was also quite bizarre, especially since it came out of bloody nowhere. Tony moaned again as Loki ground his hips.

"Are there some dying animals around here?"

Tony pulled away panting about to curse when a hand came and covered his mouth. He looked up; Loki looked thoroughly debauched, pale cheeks flushed and Tony was pretty sure he looked worse. There was some blood on his lips that Tony didn't know where it came from until his lip started burning. Oh right, split lip, he could feel the blood under Loki's hand. If Tony thought he couldn't get any closer to Loki without having sex, he was wrong, the god's body got closer to his, pushing him further into the concrete wall. He put up the hand that wasn't covering his mouth and everything seemed to turn quiet.

Clint came around the corner and Tony could hit him so hard. But then he had the fear that Clint was going to kill him for kissing Loki like his life depended on it. Clint walked down the hallway, completely ignoring Tony and Loki who were practically dry humping. The assassin strolled down; looking for whatever had made the noise but nothing was there. Once he passed, Tony let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

He gazed up at Loki who was watching where Clint had turned down the other end, not finding what he was looking for. Eventually he brought down both hands and standing up straight before licking his lips, cleaning away the blood and by god was it an oddly arousing sight. He had an air of superiority about him even after the war he declared on Tony's mouth (which he happily surrendered to) and the sizeable tent in his own pants that left nothing to the imagination. He eyed Tony as if he wasn't done with him and came face to face again. The engineer's mouth seemed to have seized up as he couldn't even think of a coherent sentence let alone speak it, all he did was blink owlishly. The god smirked, bringing his finger up to collect the blood that trailed down from the reopened cut, then brought it to his mouth before licking it away; all Tony could do was gape and groan at the display.

"Do close your mouth, it's unbecoming of you," the god bumped his knuckles under Tony's chin, prompting him to close his mouth.

"Ah, yeah," he swallowed thickly again.

Complete brain shut down was not usually in Tony Stark's repertoire of things he did when aroused; he usually had a quip or a witty retort but when it came to Loki, for some inconceivable reason there was nothing. Loki managed to make him a blubbering fool and yet, he didn't mind, especially with Loki's tongue doing awesome and fiendish things with his own.

"Did you just use magic?" the things that just happened finally registering. Because really how could anyone have missed two guys pressed against the wall in a compromising position… and yet Clint strolled past oblivious.

Loki gave him an unimpressed look, one Tony had used on many occasions, "Would you have liked to explain why you were pressed against the wall in a compromising position, rutting as if your libido were your life?"

"Point," Tony agreed.

Loki turned to leave, smirk on his face like he had won something and Tony let him (as adamant as he was to do so), watching the god saunter down the hallway. He needed a shower… a long one.

…

Tony got into his room as quickly as he could, trying to hide his erection as best he could while dodging everyone in the morning rush. He was glad he hadn't seen anybody yet. He also still wanted to punch Clint in the face and possibly Loki too. Clint for obvious reasons but Loki because now he _was_ going to think about him when he jerked off and most probably in the shower he was just about to have.

He finally stripped down, still rock hard, and turned on the shower. The spray was nice and hot when he got in, getting rid of the grease and tension he had. Working all night was bad for the back. He turned to face it, the pressure making his face hurt and thought of how his lip had reopened making him remember that he was unbelievably hard.

He took himself in hand, sighing at the much needed contact and thinking of Loki and the thoughts the sneaky little bastard left burrowed in his head; writhing and moaning as Tony would fuck him senseless. He stroked himself, fingers teasing the head. Tony's eyes closed and he let his forehead rest against the shower wall.

He thought of Loki, all that pale, smooth skin and lean muscle, moaning beneath him. Tony kissing and nipping at that (un)godly long and pale column of neck. He pictured grazing his teeth down his neck and down to the god's collar bone, then trailing down his chest, sucking and licking at nipples. Then Tony thought about that tongue and the connotations that came with the God of Mischief: Silvertongue; what he could do with it. He imagined Loki using it for nefarious things. Imagining Loki licking his cock, driving him mad before taking him all in his mouth. His stroke became erratic as he thought of fucking Loki's devious mouth.

Tony clamped his eyes closed as he came and feeling all the better for it as the shower washed away the evidence. He lent against the wall for a moment before washing his hair.

…

Tony got out, towelling himself dry and wrapping it around his waist before heading out of the bathroom and into his walk-in-robe. He felt particularly relaxed now in his post wank glow. Tony looked through all his clothes, he wasn't going anywhere so he decided on what he usually wore when he wasn't out, which was jeans and a simple shirt. The only one he seemed to have was the white shirt with hole for the arc reactor. He didn't wear it so much since his new reactor didn't overheat as much as the one with the palladium core.

"Have fun?"

Tony nearly jumped out of his skin, "Holy hell," he gasped, grabbing at the towel nearly slipping off around his waist.

Loki sat on his bed, right leg over his left and hands behind him holding him up. He still only wore the black track pants but seemed to have showered. Loki smirked at Tony and looked knowingly at the engineer.

Tony looked to the bathroom then to Loki again, "How long have you been here?"

"Long enough," his smirk got bigger. He stood up gracefully and made his way towards Tony, "You don't like being quiet do you?"

Shit. Tony quickly put boxers and jeans on as he watched Loki get closer.

"Now I _do_ know that you think of me," he smiled now, a show of pleased teeth.

"Didn't think you were a voyeur."

"When the mood strikes," Loki shrugged, sidling up in front of Tony now.

The god gently seized Tony's chin, lifting it up so the engineer was looking at him. Tony's heart beat raised a fraction and lent into the surprisingly gentle touch. He must've had a shower, he smelt like sage and mint. Loki's next kiss was more passionate than hungry, it was slower and softer, and it seemed this time that Loki was mindful of the cut on the engineer's lip. The raven haired man opened his mouth, allowing Tony to take the lead, letting his tongue dip into Loki's mouth. Both closed their eyes. Tony's hands went to the god's hip, while Loki's found their way to Tony's chest. It slowly became a passionate slide on tongues when they parted for air.

Tony slowly opened his eyes, "Where's all this sudden… affection come from?" he eventually asked.

Loki just shrugged, not seeming too bothered by it and stepped away. He had that smirk again. Tony narrowed his eyes at him.

"I'm going to go ruffle some feathers," was all he said. He took out his pony tail, shaking out his hair like a porn star.

"What does that mean?" Tony asked at the mischievous look the god had.

Loki's body slowly changed. His angular curves turned smooth as his whole body morphed into a feminine one. His hair slowly grew longer and slightly wavy at the ends. The sharp features of his face turned soft and his lips became plump. And if all that wasn't proof that the Loki in front of Tony was now a woman, than the substantial size of his new boobs (very nice boobs) was proof enough. It wasn't like when he turned into Pepper, this was still Loki, but with boobs and softer features (very nice features). And he still only wore those damned pants that were now snug on curvaceous hips and a round arse, still hanging low though. Loki looked at Tony now with beautiful green eyes and fluttered long black lashes at him.

"Do pick your chin up, you're drooling," that voice was still Loki's too, just higher pitched.

Tony continued to stare but closed his mouth, "So what are you doing?"

"Well, my mind requires stimuli and I'm bored, and since Barton ruined a rather satisfying moment, I thought I'd pay it back," Loki said as he made his way out, "Enjoy the view," he offered with a wink over his shoulder, sauntering out of the room topless.

Tony continued to stare as the god left, admiring the fantastic arse the God/dess of Mischief had. _Damn_.

…

"Clint, pick already," Natasha ordered as she waited impatiently to get into the food cupboard.

"I don't know what I want," he whined.

"You never know what you want."

"Fine, I'll have the god damn Frosties," he said petulantly.

"Good, now shut up."

Clint just huffed, pouring out the cereal and milk.

Clint and Natasha had been up for a while, but decided to have a late breakfast or morning tea. He'd already had a coffee, so he was awake enough and it was a Wednesday. Not much work on Wednesday or at least he hadn't heard from SHEILD lately. He was adamant about keeping the Loki situation under wraps, he was still a little shitted at being turned into a mind slave, turned into a dancing monkey for a super villain. Though he was still sort of a dancing monkey for a government organisation known for their ambiguous actions.

He was munching on his cereal when his mind shut off for a split second and his jaw dropped a few floors down.

"Well, hel-_lo_," Clint leered at the woman, who was half naked and strolling into the dining room/kitchen.

The woman was tall and drop dead gorgeous with long black hair. Clint didn't care that she was topless, that was the best part and ten out of ten for her boobs.

"I guess Tony went out last," Clint said quietly to Natasha's back.

"Huh?" she peeked her head out and paused for a moment.

"You think model?" he asked, giving the woman a once over and looking back to Natasha.

"Definitely."

With those features and that height, she'd have to be.

"Foreign?"

"I'd say so, who walks around topless? Europeans," Natasha stated, "What are you doing?" she asked the woman.

"Anthony said I could get something to eat," she spoke with a heavy accent, Scandinavian probably.

"I didn't think Tony let the strays stay for breakfast?" Clint asked Nat quietly behind his second cup of coffee.

"He doesn't usually," she replied behind her tea.

"What's your name, beautiful?" Clint was turning on the charm, maybe the topless Scandinavian model would go for a strapping blonde archer.

Natasha just rolled her eyes.

The black haired woman made her way to the table a shy smile on her plump lips, "My name is Lori," she said in a seductively sweet tone. She sat in the seat that was free next to Clint.

"Any last name Lori?" he asked, she had clear green eyes, different to Natasha's.

She giggled, then played with her hair, "Farbautisdottir, I know terrible name," she looked away shy, "My agent suggested I change my last name, I was thinking to change to Oslo."

"Lori Oslo has a nice ring to it," Clint smiled, making her giggle again, "So are you a model, you said something about an agent."

She started playing with her raven hair, Clint kept on looking down at her boobs, "Yes, but I am not that good looking," she shrugged, bitting her bottom lip.

"Are you kidding? Of course you are!" it made her giggle again, "So where are you from? Let me guess, Norway, Sweden?"

"You are right, Norway! I am from Oslo, have you been?"

Natasha continued to watch as this 'Lori' woman kept getting closer to Clint and puffing out her chest as Clint kept staring at her boobs. Something seemed familiar about the woman though, she couldn't put her finger on it.

"No, I haven't been. What's it like?"

"Oh," she brushed a hand on his forearm and let it stay there, "It gets very cold but the Northern Lights are very nice to see."

"I'm sure they are," she seemed oblivious to his ogling.

"I apologise for not wearing a shirt, all the ones I found could not fit," she said looking down to where Clint's gaze was, "I guess I am too big for them," she made her point by groping her own boobs and giggling again. Clint had to control himself from not groaning.

She was either very stupid or trying to get something out of the whole thing.

"Oh no, they are just fine," he croaked.

"That's good," her voice had seemed to change to a deeper one.

"What?" Clint asked looking at her face now, she was really close now.

"I said," her voice was sultry, "that's good," suddenly it was a deep masculine voice. Slowly her body morphed into something more angular and firmer, her face changing into a familiar one. Loki's. Those green eyes glinted as he slowly started to smile, shark like, "Boo!"

Clint fell backwards out of his chair screaming, looking like someone had stabbed him. Laughter erupted from the doorway and Tony stepped fully into the room, clutching at his stomach, nearly falling over. Loki had started to cackle too, head thrown back in a menacingly delighted laugh. Natasha looked as though she was trying not to laugh with her mouth full of tea, but failed, spitting it out everywhere and gasping for air.

"W-what's so funny?" Clint demanded from the floor.

The laughter died down barely, "Oh, I needed that," Natasha chuckled. Clint glared at her, "It was funny."

"Jarvis," Tony gasped, still clutching at his stomach, "Tell me you got that?"

_"For posterity, sir."_

"Good man," Clint glared at him, making the engineer double over with laughter.

"What the fuck?" the archer got up, looking furious.

Loki stood up, shrugging off his anger, "Merely entertainment, Barton."

"Well that was not fucking funny. I could be scarred for life."

"I thought it was," Tony muttered quietly.

Loki rolled his eyes, "Well if you're complaining, I could just kill you. That'd be equally as fun."

"I thought you said he _wasn't_ homicidal?"

"Is it only this mortal that doesn't get a jest?" Loki asked as if Clint were stupid, crossing his arms and looked to Tony questioningly.

"You just don't like the fact that you got turned on by Lady Loki," Natasha chuckled.

"Screw you guys!" Clint stomped out of the room in an angry huff, giving Loki daggers.

Tony and Natasha chuckled. Loki left the room, an air of pride to him.

"What's with him?" the assassin asked.

"Who? Clint? I think he's just a butt hurt," Tony made his way to the pantry, he was feeling hungry and alcohol probably wouldn't be a good idea.

"No, Loki. He seems… chummy," she narrowed her eyes at the direction Loki went.

"Bruce is working on something to help with," Tony made a gesture with his finger towards his head, "I think it's working. He hasn't lashed out since Monday, so," he shrugged.

"Why are you so fond of him?" she asked seriously, "He threw you out of a window."

Tony swallowed now feeling the need to leave, "No reason. And he didn't kill me."

"There is a reason, but you're not telling me."

"Don't worry super spy, alright," Tony made his way out of the room.

…

Once Loki got out of the room he slid down the wall out of sight, clutching at a phantom pain in his stomach. He coughed like a dying man. He tasted blood, coughing in his hand; he pulled it away revealing a blood covered palm. He wasn't sure what was wrong. He'd need to go see Banner again.

* * *

**MORE A/N**: Thank you for people and their ideas :D HAPPY TIMEZ. Let me explain u a thing. I am bad at the things with the smut stuff (first time for everything, right?). I am not a scientist and I suck at the thing with the brain thing, mkay. And if anyone gets the AuTi alloy and liquid nitrogen thing, I will give you a gold cookie. The drugs were a good plot thing I came up with, not sure how it worked, you tell me.

Don't take drugs that aren't prescribed to you my friend, or otherwise you're gonna have a bad time. What Bruce is doing is not recommended by the FDA. Bad. 0/10 not recommended. Also, monoamine oxidase inhibitors means bad, it means every other products didn't work for someone with depression and other stuff (I think, not sure).

**Old Norse points of interest:**

minn = my  
mǫgr = sons  
skuldalið = family

**Drug points of interests**:

**Dexamphetamine**: Is a drug used for ADHD and Narcolepsy and Treatment Resistant Depression, among other things (also a party drug that makes peeps go hyper. Similar to Meth but classier and expensive). I have first hand experience with this _prescription _medication (my brother is an ADHD Narcoleptic).  
**Paroxetine**: Is a drug used to treat major depression, OCD, panic disorder, social anxiety and PTSD. All things Loki seems to be suffering from at the moment.  
**Amitriptyline**: Is a drug used for all of the above, eating disorder and bipolar. It's also good for reducing migrains, schizophrenic symptoms, aggression and violent behaviour.  
**Fluoxetine**: You would know this as Prozac.  
**Bupropion**: Used for depression and anxiety. If you look up one of it's affects, it may or may not be the reason why Loki is as... affectionate as he his ;)

All of these are also good for personality disorders. Later on I'll go into the adverse affects but for now, positive. I hoped this has been helpful, brought to you by someone who knows Jack shit. Some of you may be on this stuff, I dunno. Apologies if I got things wrong.

So long A/N was long and I'm sorry and I love you. Information is key so you don't kill me or something.


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